Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The reception class doesn't sit right with me

51 replies

user1466690252 · 04/07/2016 13:55

Ds had a settle day in reception last week and it's really playing on my mind. We have done a year in the schools nursery, half days and have gotten a place in the reception school- so far so good all gone to plan.
My son is very out going and confidant and has a very good vocabulary. He talks alot older than he is and will talk to anyone.
2 other mums have asked to be put in the same class as him as he brings out the other children's confidence and instigates play with groups ect.
The reception is a 2 class intake. All the children from the nursery are in the other class except 4 who are in our class. The 2 other boys who asked to go with ds and another girl. The rest of the children come from all over day care and private nurseries and havn't don't the school set up before. When I picked him up a few of the other children were crying and they just seem so much younger and not used to the school setting. Im annoyed that my child has been put with the other 2 in the other class for what I perceive as others benefit. Am I being unreasonable here? Overthinking it?

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 04/07/2016 13:56

Totally overthinking it.
Read this in a year and laugh [WINK]

Sighing · 04/07/2016 13:58

You're overthinking it. "Brings out others confidence" is a way of describing a hellraiser in the making Hmm.

But seriously. They've asked to put their child with a child they get on with and it takes a week or two for most children to settle, such a short time. Better to meet new faces.

ChoudeBruxelles · 04/07/2016 13:59

YABU. they'll end up doing loads of activities as a whole year group and he'll make lots of new friends. I bet kids from the school nursery were crying too and others from other settings weren't

Tiggles · 04/07/2016 13:59

Totally overthinking it.
Re-read request from other mums as "We would like our children to be with X as they are friends" they probably thought a request put like that would be ignored.

ChocolateButton15 · 04/07/2016 14:02

Yabu I doubt they have put your son in the class to bring out confidence in 26 other children. Some children will be younger as there will be nearly a years difference due to summer borns/winter borns.
There's nothing wrong with the other children not being used to school setting or crying it's a big change. It won't take them long to adjust in September and I very much doubt it will affect your son

Original poster
user1466690252 · 04/07/2016 14:03

Excellent thank you. I will forget about it and see how it all pans out.
And the pp that said he could be a total hell raiser in the making. I agree, if he's bored hes a nightmare that was my concern in him being in a class that was possibly learning rules ect that he already knew from last year iyswim. Thank you all I consider myself unreasonable

OP posts:
madambutterbean · 04/07/2016 14:04

None of them have done the school set up before, nursery isn't school. And of course some of them were crying - very normal for even a confident child.

DD was very clingy at her reception settling in sessions, despite running into preschool without as much as a second glance back at me. It was because it was something new.

Once she started in September she was absolutely fine. You really can't judge based on what you've seen and are totally overthinking it.

Original poster
user1466690252 · 04/07/2016 14:05

No in didn't mean pull our confidence in all other kids hes not that great! One of the other boys requested has a hearing issue and my son helps him alot, does stuff for him ect. Its lovely and they are lovely kids it was just them being labeld as a pair and grouped together all the time I'm particularly not keen onn

OP posts:
Buggers · 04/07/2016 14:06

Why wasn't he put in the class with the other kids he went to nursery with?

Original poster
user1466690252 · 04/07/2016 14:08

I don't know why they divided the classes the way they did? It's very strange and I would love to know by someone who had any idea how they decide the classes?

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 04/07/2016 14:09

By half term it will be hard to remember who went to school nursery and who went to other settings. And your child will have been so busy making new friends that (unless you make a big thing about it) he won't especially miss his old friends, especially as they will be mixing a lot of the time anyway.

NavyAndWhite · 04/07/2016 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sneeze182 · 04/07/2016 14:11

Sorry I think you're being pfb. It's not up to you what class he goes in, the other children in his class may have equally good language skills. Settling in wobbles are no reflection of ability. Your child being 'bored' because he will have to cover old ground? It's not all about him.

ChocolateButton15 · 04/07/2016 14:11

I do find it strange they haven't mixed it up a bit more to widen friendships. Mine is starting in Sept and they have an open door policy that the children are free range to go into both classrooms whenever they want so she will still be able to see her friends from play group. Does yours have something simular so he will still see his other friends?

braceybracegirl · 04/07/2016 14:12

arent you a journalist? ive reported your posts before and you've sent me a private message asking me to give you info for a story.

trafalgargal · 04/07/2016 14:12

Actually in a class with more incomers who need to learn the new rules it'll just be a nice refresher for him. The main point is if you think the teacher is good or not

chunkymum1 · 04/07/2016 14:13

I can only assume that there was not space in the classes to put all the children that have been to the pre-school in one class so some had to be put in with the children from other nurseries etc.

If your DS is particularly confident I can see why they may have chosen him to join the other class- presumably they think that he'll find it easy to make friends with new children and will be a positive influence. I'd take this as a compliment. However, I can see why you might be concerned- especially if you think it might have the effect of pushing him in to being part of a pair of children. I'd see how it goes for a term then speak to school if you're still not happy. The children that seem so small and upset now may well turn out to be totally different once they know eachother and the school.

Buggers · 04/07/2016 14:13

I'd be quite cross on the fact his been seperated from the other kids his been with for a year whilst the majority stayed in a group, but if his a confident little boy he will most likely have no problems at all and makes lots of new friends. Smile

memyselfandaye · 04/07/2016 14:15

They will probably split them up again next year, our school does.

Lovewineandchocs · 04/07/2016 14:15

Where we live, they look first at the nursery class and see what particular friendship groups there are etc and take these into account e.g a shy child who is friends with dominant child may be separated from them in order to gain their own confidence. With regard to those coming from other settings, I understand someone goes round the different nurseries etc to get a profile of the children who will be in reception and try to place them accordingly e.g a child coming on their own from a different nursery may be placed with a child from the existing nursery who is known to be kind and helpful to others.

Original poster
user1466690252 · 04/07/2016 14:18

Yes the playground is mixed both classes and parts of the reception block are aswell. So yea he will mix. I accept im overthinking this and it was just a bit of a shock to see more of his class very upset and the other class bounding put with drawings ect. It just struck me as very unbalanced and the fact 2 other parents told me that asked to stay with my son made me think.
The pfp comment, well I guess on this matter I don't really care about others children I am thinking of what's best for my child. We moved mountains to get him into this school and I just want to make sure he gets the best chance I can give him. Im sure I'll laugh over this next year like you say and all will be fine . Thanks

OP posts:
GoldBear · 04/07/2016 14:18

It all evens out in the end, please don't worry about it now. They change friendships so quickly at that age.

BertPuttocks · 04/07/2016 14:19

I think you're overthinking it.

My DD started Reception last year. She has an autumn birthday so seemed a lot older than some of the other children. Some were still only 3yrs old when they had their settling-in sessions.

She was the only one from her nursery to be in her class. I'm not sure why and never asked. It turned out to be a positive thing as she made new friends very quickly.

From what I've seen over the year, the classes were chosen so that they had a fairly even spread of ages and abilities. Each class also had a similar number of girls and boys.

They tend to mix up the groups and pairings regularly throughout the year. Partly due to individual needs but also to encourage the children to build up their social skills. The chances of your DS being permanently paired with one other child are virtually zero.

Original poster
user1466690252 · 04/07/2016 14:22

braceybracegirl nope different user- tonnes of threads about them and would be good to bit be accused. My name is traceable in the search bar to see if I'm real if you have any concerns.
Thanks for everyone else's input. Really helping. I will see how it pans out.

OP posts:
mugginsalert · 04/07/2016 14:29

Chocolate 'free range kids' made me smile...

OP, at that age kids react really strongly to changes in setting, the differences in behaviour you saw are probably no more than reflections of the kids' different levels of comfort on that day. I'm sure your pre-school is great but the other kids will also have had suitable preparation and that will come out in September when they are there 'for real'.

Swipe left for the next trending thread