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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother's advice. Sometimes, just, ssshh.

52 replies

Littlejenfer · 30/06/2016 20:45

16 weeks pregnant with pfb, and pfgc on both sides. I'm pretty chilled out about it all, and MIL is equally happy but excited.

Then... my own mother. Who can't help herself and send daily, if not hourly, advice on the baby. Buy Muslims. Stroke the bump. Don't bother doing X. Make sure you do Y. Have you done Z yet?

AIBU to just want all the 'helpful advice' to just stop. Or am I being a miserable grumpy cow and just let her carry on with it. 16 weeks down... 24 to go.

OP posts:
Original poster
Littlejenfer · 30/06/2016 20:46

Muslins. Yeeeeesh.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/06/2016 20:47

She sounds excited too. If it's by text/email, can you just ignore her? Maybe tell her you want some baby chat free time soon?

JuxtapositionRecords · 30/06/2016 20:49

Ah she sounds lovely. My mum was the same and I loved how excited she was. She was also my absolute rock when I went through the hardest time of my life after pfb was actually born.

Can't you just let her enjoy it?

Spudlet · 30/06/2016 20:49

My mother drove me maaaaaaaad, in the nicest possible way. She was desperate to advise, to the point that she fell out with me if I mentioned having acquired any information from any other source... Hmm

Just smile, nod, and do what you were going to do anyway!

But do buy muslins, you go through them at an amazing rate Wink

SantanaLopez · 30/06/2016 20:52

My MIL was very precious. I remember standing up for a glass of water and she nearly rugby tackled me to the ground so she could do it for me Grin

Point being; they drive you mad at times but they mean well and you do cherish the memories when the little one is safely here and you aren't pregnant any more!

Mouikey · 30/06/2016 20:52

Had the same and we had a huge argument as I was feeling totally overwhelmed by everything and it wasnt helping. Easier to tell her gently and set some boundaries rather that getting to the no going back point!!! Me and my DM now all back on track, and I think she accepts that sometimes its a bit much and I accept she is very excited!!!

Sighing · 30/06/2016 20:54

Pfb / pfgc is 10 now. Never stops. Work on smile and ignore.

MrsBB1982 · 30/06/2016 21:01

I don't remember needing to buy any Muslims when pregnant!

FuckingVipers · 30/06/2016 21:01

She's excited, bless.

But muslins though. Hundreds of them!

Notso · 30/06/2016 21:03

Interesting. I have had 4 DC and my Mum has almost never offered advice unless I asked and I was only 19 when I had DC1.
My younger sister however is always telling me how my Mum is driving her mad with her constant unwanted advice.

HumphreyCobblers · 30/06/2016 21:04

I bought muslins for my first baby and never really used them at all. He just wasn't a sicky baby. Took me until number three before I saw the point of all those muslins.

PeppasNanna · 30/06/2016 21:05

It might be a bit annoying, but at least she cares...

anotherdayanothersquabble · 30/06/2016 21:17

Can I say what I hope I will say to my DD / DIL when the day comes... Trust your instincts darling and ask for help if you need it.

HopperBusTicket · 30/06/2016 21:17

John Lewis muslins are the best. HTH 😀

TheJollyPostmansWife · 30/06/2016 21:23

I never used Muslins as anything but breastfeeding covers, don't get the point of them? As for the mother issue, can you tell her gently? It is just excitement but I can see how annoying that could get for you

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 30/06/2016 21:26

My mother couldn't give a toss about any of my children, I'd have welcomed the chance for some baby chat!.After 4 children I still haven't bought a muslin though, perhaps that was my mistake!

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 30/06/2016 21:28

Ah yes, I'm 44 and my mother still gives out advice as if I'm 14.... but I do feel loved and my DD's couldn't want for a better dgm. Brace yourself though, it'll get worse before it gets better Grin

Spudlet · 30/06/2016 21:30

I use muslins all the time! DS is quite sicky, plus they are good for mopping dribble, wiping mucky hands, emergency bib, catching crazy overactive let down surplus milk, emergency sun shade for the pram... I get twitchy if I don't have at least one about my person at all times Grin

leopardspice · 30/06/2016 21:31

Aww she's excited... but practice your smile and nod because it never stops.. ever.
My PFB and mums PFGC is now 6mo and she is phoning every day with weaning advice....Please stop!

CanIGoToBedNow · 30/06/2016 21:37

Smile and nod, smile and nod.... you may need her help when the baby is born!

DS had reflux and muslins were great for mopping up sick, and for putting under his head whilst sleeping so I didn't have to change the cot sheet everyday. I use muslins as a bib for my 1 yr old DD neckerchief styleee..... She now has a thing for muzzies as we call them, and hoards them in her cot....

My bit of advice is to wash them 3/4 times before you need them as the have the absorbancy of that loo roll you'd get at school that was like tracing paper!

shazzarooney999 · 30/06/2016 21:39

The buy muslims made me laugh lol

Dozer · 30/06/2016 21:40

Grin at all the unsolicited muslin advice on a thread about unsolicited advice!

My DM was like this and has improved marginally after about 10 years!

MrsDeVere · 30/06/2016 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pearlylum · 30/06/2016 21:45

You will get used to unwanted advice from every angle- this thread is a prime example. Buying hundreds of muslins may be a waste of money. I never used them with my children.
Buy one pack perhaps, but you don;t use the use of you legs once you have a baby, and shopping in mothercare with a new baby is a pleasure, with so many adoring pregnant women cooing over your baby.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 30/06/2016 21:51

I was a negligent parent and didn't buy a single Muslim. Bad Foxy!