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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel depressed about my holiday

41 replies

BatLetRat · 23/06/2016 23:01

We go this weekend , been looking forward to it for ages . I suddenly feel really bloody depressed as I'm going to look huge on the beach and just not be able to relax.

Was just too distracted to diet these past few months and now regret my lack of willpower

I'm size 14, overweight by about two stone and look dreadful

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OwlinaTree · 23/06/2016 23:05

You will be fine. You will be far from the only size 14 woman there believe me. Can you do some last minute beach wear shopping and get a couple of beach cover ups or sarongs?

Alternatively spend the whole time drunk and you won't care

Have a great holiday.

Umbrella85 · 23/06/2016 23:05

Get a grip. Nobody is concentrating on what you look like as much as you are, they all have far more important things to do. Do not waste your holiday (or indeed your life) away wishing you were smaller. You only get one body so you may as well learn to live with it! There really are worse things in the world than being overweight, and much more important things in the world than obsessing about it. Forget about what you wish you'd done, and focus on enjoying the holiday that you've been looking forward to. When I think back to all the years I wasted doing exactly what you're doing now... It's not worth it. You're gorgeous exactly as you are, and you deserve to live life as much as anybody else. Enjoy your holiday!

queenMab99 · 23/06/2016 23:07

Lose the idea that what you look like matters more than anything else, I have been thin, and I have been fat, neither seemed to have any bearing on my capacity to enjoy myself. Just be happy, don't waste your life wishing for something else.

Passthecake30 · 23/06/2016 23:08

You'll look curvy on the beach, that's all. You could always cut down the carbs for the next few days, that works on me for reducing visible bloat. Then once you're there you won't even care.

SoleBizzz · 23/06/2016 23:09

Umbrella I think I love you x

monkeywithacowface · 23/06/2016 23:11

I've been on the beach all day today. I can tell you I have seen all shapes, sizes, ages in bikinis, swimsuits and even topless. Not one person looks out of place or disgusting, no one is staring at anyone. Everyone is just enjoying the sunshine.

I have hideous varicose veins and wouldn't dream of wearing skies or shirts back home but still wear a bikini on the beach.

monkeywithacowface · 23/06/2016 23:12

Skirts not skies

LondonStill83 · 23/06/2016 23:12

Seriously op, I know it's easier said than done, but hating your own body and wishing it was something else is just such a horrible waste of time and, truly, having been both a size 8 and a size 16, I can honestly tell you that I don't feel any less happy or beautiful one way or the other. People won't care and remember that if you really decide you want to lose weight for health reasons, it isn't impossible and you have the power / option to do so in the future.

For the holiday in a few days just enjoy yourself and focus on your good bits!

monkeywithacowface · 23/06/2016 23:12

Shorts not shirts

Original poster

BatLetRat · 23/06/2016 23:12

I know I'm being daft

I'm usually two stone lighter and a normal weight - this weight has gone on in the past ten months and I'm good to go re gym and healthy eating as soon as I get home

I've bought lots of loose cover ups but just feel so self conscious as I look rubbish

I know nobody will give two hoots about me . It's how I feel

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junebirthdaygirl · 23/06/2016 23:13

I'm back recently from holidays and when you're there you pay very little attention to what anyone else is doing. If you did you would notice that size 14 is by no means the biggest size there. Most important thing is to enjoy your holiday and take full advantage of the break.

bumblefeline · 23/06/2016 23:15

I'm a size 22 so I will look even more crapier than you on that beach, but I don't care. If they don't like what they see, don't look at me then!

You see all different shapes and sizes.

Hope you have a nice time.

monkeywithacowface · 23/06/2016 23:15

If you've got time for a subtle spray tan before you go I find it helps me feel a bit more confident on the beach.

Umbrella85 · 23/06/2016 23:15

Well if it's how you feel that you're worried about then it's even more simple- you have no control over what others think but you have total control over what you think! So just look in the mirror and focus on the bits about yourself that you like, if you truly can't think of any just pretend. Honestly, just fake it till you make it- confidence and sexiness is all in the mind anyway, nothing to do with what you look like from the outside. Start with dropping words like 'dreadful' to describe yourself and 'normal' to describe what you're not. You'll be amazed at the difference in how you feel about yourself when you stop being your own worst enemy.

Original poster

BatLetRat · 23/06/2016 23:16

Thanks bumble - I don't notice other women's sizes - well I may notice but I don't have any thoughts or feelings about it . It's all relative I suppose

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Original poster

BatLetRat · 23/06/2016 23:18

Thanks umbrella, wise words. I'll have a rethink

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Original poster

BatLetRat · 23/06/2016 23:20

Thanks umbrella, wise words. I'll have a rethink

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travailtotravel · 23/06/2016 23:21

you will come back feeling better about everything, promise. No-one will care about what you look like, you'll have a bit to drink, and get some sunshine and the vitamin D will make you feel all invincible again.

have fun.

Original poster

BatLetRat · 23/06/2016 23:26

Oh I do hope so travail! I have a big project I need to give proper attention to and I need to up my work and all I've done is sit around eating cake

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reader77 · 23/06/2016 23:27

I wish I could go on holiday. Enjoy yourself!

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 23/06/2016 23:28

I'm a 16/18 and used to feel like you. I've recently realised that I will never love my body; I was 3 stone lighter when I met DP 4 years ago and I still hated the saggy skin on my tummy and hated my boobs, as they were empty and deflated! Now I still hate my tummy and legs, but love my boobs

On holiday last month I wore my bikini and no fucks were given, not by me, not by DP and certainly not by any of the other assorted bodies on the beach. I even went topless a couple of times, which was quite liberating!

Honestly, you are more than the size of your tummy or the lines on your skin. Don't let those superficial worries spoil your relaxation. When you look around you will see women (& men) or all shapes and sizes, none of them care what they look to anyone else (although saying that, the most self-conscious looking people were generally the trim young ones! The older ladies mainly didn't give a fuck about their spare tyre showing when they sat up!)

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 23/06/2016 23:29

Oh and my fat brown tummy looks much nicer than my pasty white fat pre-holiday tummy

Notonthestairs · 23/06/2016 23:32

Please dont waste your holiday worrying about this.
I mean I get it - I've done it! But I look back and regretted not just allowing myself to relax. Imagine this was a friend telling you this - I bet you'd say enjoy and be kind to yourself.

Grilledaubergines · 23/06/2016 23:34

Right so you've decided to knuckle down when you get back from your holiday, which is great. There's nothing you can do now other than make a decision to wear your curves with pride and have a great holiday or let your curves spoil your holiday and your mood. (Go for the first option!).

Eat, drink, enjoy and perhaps try and have a few long walks and a bit of swimming so that you feel in control.

I bet you look gorgeous. But I know it's not what anyone else thinks, it's about how you feel.

Original poster

BatLetRat · 23/06/2016 23:36

Good attitude to have crumble!

Feel im letting my husband down a bit. He's very fit and slim. I feel like his fat wife

He's never said a word by the way - this is how I feel.

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