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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I contact anyone about this?

45 replies

Absolutelynothingelse · 20/06/2016 22:47

I was walking DD home from school and a dad with 2 DS had his hand firmly around the younger DS wrist who was around 5 and was twisting it etc so badly the boy was crying. He was dragging him up the road. After a while I got up behind him and said he could possibly break his wrist if he carried on like that. Well he did carry on like that all the way up the road and told me to mind my own business. I took a photo of him because he just wouldn't let go and the poor boy was crying in pain. He never let the poor boys arm go. It was pretty horrific actually to witness.

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 20/06/2016 22:49

What would you have done if it was a woman instead of a child?

Littlefish · 20/06/2016 22:49

Are the children at the same school as your dd?

If they are, I would go in and ask to speak to the Headteacher about it.

Failing that, I would phone the NSPCC and ask for their advice.

gamerchick · 20/06/2016 22:50

If you're worried then have a word with the school tomorrow so they can check he's alright.

Cunties · 20/06/2016 22:50

Nspcc really? I don't think so.

HairySubject · 20/06/2016 22:51

Sometimes my 3 year old screams and says I am hurting him if I am holding his hand and pulling him along the road. I know with 100% certainty that I am not. Sometimes if I pull him along by his coat sleeve he will scream bloody murder and I know I am not even touching him so am not hurting him.
It is the only way to get him home some times. I try cajoling him, persuading him, telling him, he just refuses to walk sometime and I don't have the strength to carry him all the way home.
Are you certain he was hurting the child?

Dairybanrion · 20/06/2016 22:52

Oh god I've caught mine by the wrist and hauled the up the road.
And yes they be been crying and squealing. And I've just gritted my teeth and carried on.....
The thought of someone taking my picture. Confused

Welshmaenad · 20/06/2016 22:54

I'd have a chat with the Head and show him the photo. Then possibly report to the police and advise them you've discussed with the Head who may be able to provide identification. Poor little lad.

Are you ok? It can be really upsetting to witness something like that. Years ago I intervened in a situation at a country park where a grandfather was shaking his young GS so hard the lads head was snapping back and forth. He did calm down and apologise as I refused to step away from the boy till he did but it REALLY upset me and I wonder to this day if I should have done more but didn't have a camera on my phone at the time.

Heratnumber7 · 20/06/2016 22:55

Oh get over yourself. Perhaps the boy had bolted and needed a firm grip to stop him doing it again perhaps.....all sorts of things.

You have no idea of the circumstances, of the relationship between man and not, of anything.

Talk about a big brother society!!

Idontknowwhoiam · 20/06/2016 22:58

I'd be really pissed off at someone taking my picture. My kids scratch as though they're being murdered if I'm trying to make them do.something they don't want to do.
I'd probably call the police on the person taking a photo of my child when I'm trying to get them home.
You shouldn't have taken a photo. Speak to the teacher or safeguarding person if you really think it was abuse and not a stubborn child and they will be able to check if the kid has a Chinese burn mark or other concerns on file.

I think you went to far with the picture.

EttaJ · 20/06/2016 22:59

Better to report this and there to be nothing wrong than to ignore it and there's an abusive situation. I think if he behaves that way to his DS in public what does he do in private.

Idontknowwhoiam · 20/06/2016 22:59

*scream

MagicMonkeys · 20/06/2016 23:05

Just this morning I had to grip 4 year old ds tightly and March him home, I'd be mortified if some one took my picture because ds looked to
Be in pain and was screaming. Yes they scream and act out to see if it'll get you off of them.

Italiangreyhound · 20/06/2016 23:16

I think you were brave to take the picture OP I would call and ask NSPCC about it but I fear there is nothing you can do unless you know who he is.

MerryMarigold · 20/06/2016 23:19

Was the Dad twisting the wrist or was the boy wriggling around?

TooMuchCoffeeMakesMeZoom · 20/06/2016 23:19

One of my DCs bolted until he was about seven. I frequently held his hand so tight he complained. It is terrifying having a child who bolts. They run out of your hand in the blink of an eye and can be on the road in seconds.

And he did yelp out 'you're hurting me' when I knew damn well I wasn't. I just wasn't letting him go.

Have you ever had a child that bolted OP?

Original poster
Absolutelynothingelse · 20/06/2016 23:21

He wasn't just pulling his arm.
He was twisting the boys wrist and bending his whole arm around, the boy was screaming you're hurting me the whole time. It was quite a distance. He didn't let go once. The boys whole body was contorted from the pulling and twisting.
And no they don't go to our school.

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 20/06/2016 23:22

What would you have done if it was a woman instead of a child?

What would you have done, Shatners?...

(Just interested, as I was the woman... oh shit - anonymity)

kittybiscuits · 20/06/2016 23:22

OP you were brave to do this and you have genuine cause for concern. I would act on it and hope you will.

BeckyMcDonald · 20/06/2016 23:22

My pre-schooler bolts into the road, so I hold his hand on the way to school. He squirms and makes his legs go to jelly and twists around so to the casual observer it might look like I was sort of dragging him along. I'm not. He's choosing not to walk properly. Obviously I try not to hurt him, but I do actually have to get my older child to school at some point before 9. If you have any suggestions OP other than reporting me to the NSPCC I'm all ears.

StarUtopia · 20/06/2016 23:23

I'd rather my son had a slightly red wrist from where i"m holding him tightly than have to see his dead body from him running out in the road.

Dear god.

None of your business. Seriously. I'd be blazing if someone took my picture.

kittybiscuits · 20/06/2016 23:23

From your further post, very clearly unacceptable behaviour. Poor boy.

Duckyneedsaclean · 20/06/2016 23:24

So he was trying to get his son home, his son refused to hold his hand, was screaming and carrying on, and you thought interfering and taking photos would help?

EttaJ · 20/06/2016 23:24

Being that OP is also a parent and was actually there, I'm sure she could tell the difference between it being just a child playing up a bit and a scared child in pain from a possibly abusive parent . Trust your instincts I always say.

Original poster
Absolutelynothingelse · 20/06/2016 23:24

It wasn't normal wrist pulling and dragging.
My DS used to bolt so yes I've had to hold his wrist before and not let go.
It really wasn't like the normal version iyswim.

OP posts:
Kummerspeck · 20/06/2016 23:28

I'd be inclined to ask advice at school (assuming his children are at the same one)
You may be over-reacting but will never know unless you ask. I always remember reading about the distress of people who had seen James Bulger with his killers but not thought anything of it so would always err on the side of caution

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