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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT understand why a non Muslim would observe Ramadan?

61 replies

Crunchymum · 14/06/2016 15:40

Just that really.

I have a colleague who does every year (husband is Muslim but she is not)

It makes her miserable and she asks me not to eat lunch at my desk I am on reduced hours and only get a short lunch break so bring my own food in and normally eat at my desk

Even if she wasn't so miserable I still don't get it??

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/06/2016 15:42

I give up chocolate sometimes for Lent and I'm not Christian. Don't even live with one.

I actually think temporary denial is a very good thing. Makes people appreciate what they have. Might be why major religions have it.

WindPowerRanger · 14/06/2016 15:44

Because otherwise she would have to eat in front of her fasting husband, which would be torture for him ?

BabooshkaKate · 14/06/2016 15:46

Tell her to go for a walk instead of dictating where you eat Hmm

Last year some people in the office tried it in #solidarity but gave up pretty sharpish. Perhaps she wants to support her husband in a similar way? I'm surprised that he married her when she didn't convert to be honest, given that he observes Ramadan, but hey ho.

Sallygoroundthemoon · 14/06/2016 15:49

YANBU. I don't understand it either but I guess it is her choice. She is being very unreasonable asking you not to eat at your desk.

BreconBeBuggered · 14/06/2016 15:50

If she wants to fast, fair play to her, but she has to be the one who shifts if your eating bothers her.

TheNaze73 · 14/06/2016 15:51

YANBU, she sounds like a proper right on, divkid. I'd tell her to go and fuck herself frankly. What a cheek

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 14/06/2016 15:52

I can understand her doing in solidarity with her husband, but you can eat where you want. The last company I worked for I was the only non Muslim employee and no one ever commented on me eating my lunch at my desk (no break room or I would've gone there).

Ledeluge · 14/06/2016 15:52

That's interesting, most Muslims I know don't find the fasting hard and would never ask others not to eat in front of them - I wonder if it's because it has no religious meaning to her that it feels like a big sacrifice?

I have vaguely thought of observing the fast, not sure why, solidarity or to be able to empathise? We were invited to join our neighbours for Iftar (fast breaking) last year and I though that would be a good day to do it but in the end I was too greedy/lazy.

Funnily enough, as an ex catholic but now non religious, I find it interesting to note feelings of mild irritation with people who give up stuff for lent for non spiritual reasons. There always seems to be a big martyrdom thing going on and really they are often just trying to lose a bit of weight. Though I'm not sure why I find that irritating.....

araiba · 14/06/2016 15:54

If she wants to fast, fair play to her, but she has to be the one who shifts if your eating bothers her.

yeah right

shes working at her desk but she should move because op is having their lunch at their desk?

desks are not for eating at- use staff room/ canteen etc

Buckinbronco · 14/06/2016 15:55

I think giving up something small for lent is different really- Ramadan is much more extreme.

I wouldn't accept her telling me where I could eat tbh (I doubt I would from a Muslim either tbf but as a poster above said I've never known a Muslim following Ramadan to say such things)

dolkapots · 14/06/2016 15:56

I did it a few times when I lived in a muslim country and here in UK also. It was a very interesting experience, although I certainly wouldn't have asked anyone to not eat in front of me, nor advertised the fact that I was doing it.

Lots of people give up for Lent although it has no religious significance for them.

There have been quite a few articles that have popped up on my FB regarding the scientific benefits of proper fasting and I certainly physically felt better for it myself when I did it.

Buckinbronco · 14/06/2016 15:56

Arabia some of us don't always have time to eat elsewhere. Nice as it is to have the choice. Anyway unless the company ban food at desks there isn't anything that can be done.

Original poster
Crunchymum · 14/06/2016 16:01

Colleague in question eats at her desk usually

OP posts:
WindPowerRanger · 14/06/2016 16:02

Her request is unreasonable. Could you suggest she goes for a short walk while you eat your lunch?

RandyMagnum · 14/06/2016 16:02

They can fast if they want, but telling you where to eat, I'd tell them to fuck off.

iniquity · 14/06/2016 16:04

She is BU to ask you not to eat at your desk. YABU for judging her for fasting, thats her choice.

MsMims · 14/06/2016 16:08

Assuming you have more sense than to tell your colleague 'fuck off' , it's fine to decline her request not to eat at your desk.

Lots of benefits to fasting and I can understand why your colleague would do it in solidarity with her husband.

TooMuchMNTime · 14/06/2016 16:08

Her choice but why should you move to eat
I don't have a staff room or canteen, it would be a case of standing outside or something. Mad.

carryam · 14/06/2016 16:13

I have worked with many Muslim colleagues observing Ramadan, and not one has ever tried to control where other eat and drink.

Dollius01 · 14/06/2016 16:14

"Desks are not for eating at" Ha ha to that. You obviously have never worked in a pressurised job where you barely have time to go to the loo, let alone enjoy a leisurely lunch in the canteen

RiverTam · 14/06/2016 16:14

it's a nice thought that she's doing it (by choice, I hope) but if there's nowhere for either of you to go at lunchtime I'm not sure what she expects. If there was a canteen or staff room I think I'd make the effort to eat there, just to help her out.

The fasting is fine but I really don't like the no water thing at all.

ThatsMyStapler · 14/06/2016 16:14

i can see why she would do it - supporting her husband - however, she is BVVVU asking you to not eat

carryam · 14/06/2016 16:15

I have to laugh at the poster who tells people to eat in the staff room or canteen. I have worked in many places and never had one of these.

Radiatorvalves · 14/06/2016 16:17

We have a Muslim AP at the moment who is fasting. We are carrying on as normal. If I am honest, I would rather she wasn't as she does not sit down and communicate as normal (and she is a recent arrival and could do with it) and meal times are really the only time we sit and chat.

However, I would never interfere but neither would she tell me what time I should eat!

araiba · 14/06/2016 16:20

I have to laugh at the poster who tells people to eat in the staff room or canteen. I have worked in many places and never had one of these.

stop working at shit places then

i have never worked at an office./ inside a building that didnt have somewhere to chill for a few minutes.