AIBU to do this for our wedding seating plan?

[coralpig]

Starting the special hell that is wedding seating plans. Fiancé and I are from radically different cultures. All heard speak English (just about) but some far better than others.

I have two options

A) seat people only with those that they know or are similar to in terms of background and culture.

B) do some gentle mixing- people with similar personalities but from different backgrounds who may well get on but don't know each other.

My initial thought was to go for A but my fiancé pointed out that would essentially mean racially segregating the room. He thinks we should go for B.

What would you prefer as a wedding guest?

B!
I love the opportunity to meet and interact with new people! Congratulations

B definitely.

B

A) I prefer to sit with people I know and who I'll have a laugh with at a wedding
However in your case maybe a buffet and no set seating?

B!

Ahahaha I'm a lone voice

Id go for a combination. If a group knows each other put them on the same table. But mix single people and couples who don't know anyone else.

Where people might reasonably be expected to see each other again - your siblings, aunts/uncles if close for instance, then mix them up. Otherwise, just put people together who know each other

The last time I went to a B, there was quite loud quartet music playing in the 'background' throughout the meal and no-one could talk around the table properly. If we'd been A it would have been much easier.

I prefer to sit with people I know at weddings. Not necessarily the people that I see frequently, but weddings are a great opportunity to catch up with family that you haven't seen for a while, so personally I'd go for A.

I have been to weddings where I've had to make small talk with strangers while wishing I could sit with friends/family that have been spread out all over the room, and all it does is make people want the meal to be over as quickly as possible which is a shame when it's the most expensive part of the day!

I would go for and prefer A - nothing to do with race or culture, I just prefer to be sat with people I know. It's a wedding to enjoy, I'm not there to make small talk or new friends. I'm maybe a miserable cow though!

Can you do half and half? Say four couples at a table, two from each side and alternate them?

It means everyone will have someone they know at the table and someone they don't.

They can always move when the tables are cleared for dancing if they like.

Also, if you're splitting up couples as seems to be becoming more popular, you have to think about that as well.

B + copious amounts of free booze. I find myself getting along famously with everyone and anyone once I'm sufficiently lubricated.

A

I hate it when I have to sit with people I don't know, especially if there are lots of people I do know. I've normally had to sort a babysitter, get a new frock, pay for a hotel etc and I would much rather sit near friends or family than someone else's great aunt Petunia

Why don't you arrange as A, then split the tables in to and swap half around. I've explained that so well haven't I.

What I mean is B takes a LOT of effort, especially if you're trying to match personalities of people who don't know each other. What you could do is arrange tables together of those you do know, and your dcf arranges tables of those he knows, then just take a half of one on your tables and half of one of his tables to create a mixed table. Do this until all tables are mixed.

The idea being that on every table you have two sets of people that you'll know will get on with each other, so if they can't talk (or won't mix) with each other then at least there's half a table they will get on with. But if they do get on then happy days - intermingling galore!!

You don't necessarily need to sit exactly if you know what I mean. Last wedding I was at I was from the bride side as a cousin, there were about 240 guests, and we were allocated to a table but could choose where on the table we sat. Everyone on my table was from the bride side, but were a mix of her father's family and my family (her mother being in my family). Worked well.

Clear as mud?

We did our tables like cogs. Basically the tables were in thirds or halves, with people from each group on it, but backing onto a similar group at the next table - that way they mixed but we're also close to people they knew

A

I want to sit and catch up with people I know.

Dcf is supposed to be DF aka fiancée

B) Meeting new people is fun

I hate B. I like to catch up with people I know at weddings, not meet random new people.

We didn't have a seating plan. It worked well - people found differently sized spaces which worked for their group.

A, or one of the mixtures suggested by others.

B normally at a wedding you'd expect to be seated alongside some people you know and some you don't, so there is a mix.

We aren't having a seating plan, we're letting them all sit where they want :) they can't complain that we've sat them next to miserable Aunty Gladys* or anything then!

*No offence to any Aunty Gladys' who may be reading!

Mix them a little bit, but use your judgement.

We divided into groups of three or four and mixed them like that so no one was on their own but it wasn't totally segregated.

Use common sense too - if great aunt Mavis is very straight laced and delicate, it's probably best not to sit her next to your husbands room mate from uni who's party piece is getting his todger out and tucking it between his legs whilst screeching 'I'm a laaaadyyyyy'.

But don't stress too much. Provided there are a couple of people they can talk to in easy reach, most people will be fine wherever they are sat.