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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please help me write a text which doesn't sound rude

36 replies

mizuzu · 08/06/2016 12:47

Some of you may remember a thread I posted regarding my mums will and her jewellery which still hasn't been settled due to my aunty delaying it.
Some suggested on here she has sold it already and me and my friend were having a conversation and I believe she has.

My mum died over a year ago, her jewellery was worth around 30-40k

Me and my sister and my mums partner are proof that it existed

My brother lives with my aunty and she sides with him a lot.

Every text I write to her sounds rude which is probably because I'm paranoid due to the conversation I just had.

How do I say this nicely? I am willingredients to driver her to Hatton garden myself

OP posts:
Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 12:48

Willing to that was meant to say I'm on my mobile writing this

OP posts:
araiba · 08/06/2016 12:49

say what nicely?

we think you stole then sold the jewelry?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 08/06/2016 12:49

Don't text her, ring her.

You post doesn't make it clear what you actually want?

Arfarfanarf · 08/06/2016 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:02

I just don't want to believe she did it that's the problem but seriously it's taken you year to sell jewellery and my brother is very manipulative
I have a history of blowing up and accusing people of things when I'm wrong so I'm trying to change but this it just seems obvious

OP posts:
Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:03

Plus my mum left her 15 grand which she wouldn't have done

OP posts:
Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:04

The will said everything to be split amongst her 3 children

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bibbitybobbityyhat · 08/06/2016 13:05

Whatever you do, I'd try and brush up on your communication skills. Your posts are really unclear. Perhaps she just doesn't understand you?

ghostyslovesheep · 08/06/2016 13:07

What does the will say - or your solicitor

Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:08

And she has a history of doing stuff like this my grandmother died in 2008 and there was jewerelly which was meant to be divided between the gran children still haven't seen a piece of her jewellery

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DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 08/06/2016 13:08

Have you seen the will?

Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:08

Bibb what don't you understand?

OP posts:
Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:09

I've seen the will yes.
It said everything to be divided equally between 3 children and the house to be sold which did happen

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CodyKing · 08/06/2016 13:12

You need to contact a solicitor and ask for clarification on the sale or split of the jewellery - and Any other items you aren't sure about -

Nocabbageinmyeye · 08/06/2016 13:12

I remember your thread, I agree with calling her rather than texting but if your set on it having to be a text why not something like "Hi x, I hope you are well. I am really anxious to get mums jewellery sorted before the end of this month, I was thinking I could take you to xx to have it valued and we could have a bit of lunch and a catch up? Let me know when suits you, if not we will arrange something else as it needs to be sorted before the end of June" if she stalls any more or makes excuses just tell her you need closure on the matter, then go down the legal route but I wouldn't leave it any longer

Thymeout · 08/06/2016 13:15

Who is the executor of the will? They should have sold the jewellery by now.

What does your brother say, since he is one of the three beneficiaries?

Is there any chance your dm sold the jewellery before she died?

You and your dsis need to talk to your brother and then approach your aunt. No texts.

Pagwatch · 08/06/2016 13:16

Yep, what cabbage says is fine.
Send that.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 08/06/2016 13:16

"My brother lives with my aunty and she sides with him a lot" - how is this relevant?

"I am willing to drive her to Hatton garden myself" - why, do you want the jewellery to be sold? It isn't obvious. Perhaps you wanted to keep the jewellery if it had been left to you?

"Its taken you year to sell jewellery and my brother is very manipulative" ?

"Plus my mum left her 15 grand which she wouldn't have done" eh?

Arfarfanarf · 08/06/2016 13:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WipsGlitter · 08/06/2016 13:17

So aside from the will your aunt then took your mum's jewellery for safekeeping or something.

You now want it back so you can (1) get it valued and (2) sell it.

But you think your aunt has sold it because she is stalling about meeting with you to give the jewellery to you?

Is that right?

ImperialBlether · 08/06/2016 13:19

So your aunt is the executor of the Will but is ignoring the fact there was a lot of jewellery? I would ask a solicitor to write to her to ask her what is happening to that jewellery.

Where did it say your mum wanted her to have £15,000? In the Will? If not, then it should be taken she didn't want her to have that money.

Why did your mum make her the executor (if she did)?

Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:20

No me and my sister were in the house the jewels were we gave them to her as house was empty I know what is in the box

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Kit30 · 08/06/2016 13:26

The executors are accountable to the beneficiaries. It doesn't sound like you have a great relationship with your aunt so I suspect that if she falls out with you over this it won't be too heartbreaking.
First, check the position with the Probate office ( find them in the local phone book for the area in which your Mum died) . They'll be able to tell you what's happened about 'proving the will' ie where it's up to administratively and legally. Second, if local solicitors or a bank are involved as co- executor they should be able to tell you the position. Third, if you suspect your aunt hasn't acted properly you can ( I think but please check) apply to have someone else take on her role. That includes not getting n with sorting things out btw.
If she has behaved improperly in accounting to you and the other beneficiaries ( ie taken the money herself or not paid out to someone she should have done) it's fraud and you should involve the police.
Don't discuss it over the phone because it'll turn into 'you said - I said' instead write a polite but firm note
Dear Aunty x
I feel awful writing to you about this but I think it's the right thing to do. Please can you tell me what the position is regarding Mum's estate? As her sister and executor you know that she decided that everything should be split equally between Y, Z and me. It's been a whole year now since she died and I'd be grateful to know how long it's going to be before everything is sorted out. Since it hasn't been discussed with me at all, I'm in the dark about what's happening. It's been a difficult time for all of us so if I can help in any way please let me know. In the meantime I'm sure that you've got everything under control but please can you just let me know where you're up to? Thank you for dealing with this for us.
Love
OP

See where you get to

Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:26

My mum left her some work benefit thing dont know exactly what it was but was 15k.
My brother and my sister none of us talk

My brother is manipulative in the point it would not surprise me if he convinced her to give it all to him.

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Original poster
mizuzu · 08/06/2016 13:28

Aunty is executor and mums partner but aunty hasn't let him do anything. Mum's partner even said he thinks she sold it. He doesn't want to get involved though really

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