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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have not missed my husband

31 replies

GirlOutNumbered · 02/06/2016 20:25

So, my husband has been on a holiday with a friend. I have no problem with us doing stuff like this at all and was fine about him going.
He is due back tomorrow and it's just occurred to me that I haven't missed him. I've not really thought about him at all and now I feel terrible.

He has texted saying how excited he is, he's missed me so much and I just don't feel the same. This isn't normal is it?

OP posts:
OrElseIWontComeBackAtAll · 02/06/2016 20:26

How is your relationship usually?

Mouikey · 02/06/2016 20:27

Of course its normal, don't feel guilty... I bet you have been doing stuff and getting on with life... doesn't mean you don't love him! It was probably nice to have some 'alone' time. Glad you enjoyed it :)

legotits · 02/06/2016 20:27

Yeah.

I enjoy my own company so when my DP comes home it feels like an invasion.
it's age related Grin

RumAppleGinger · 02/06/2016 20:28

It is for me!

I love my DH, he is without a doubt the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. But a week without him is great.

When he comes home of course I'm glad to see him but I don't sit around and pine for him whilst he's away.

Princecharlesfirstwife · 02/06/2016 20:29

I wouldn't worry - unless you've got other issues. I don't miss my dh if he goes away and can quite happily get on with life without him crossing my mind too much. Quite like it actually. Of course i know that he's coming back so there's no reason to get all worked up about him being gone i suppose. We've been happily married for over 20 yrs.

Original poster
GirlOutNumbered · 02/06/2016 20:30

I had the kids, but it was great. I was super organised Mum without having a DH hanging around. I really enjoyed it.

Our relationship is great normally I guess. I think I am happy. I just was surprised about how happy I was without him. It's nice just doing your own thing I suppose.

and legotits you are right, it feels like an invasion!

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlOutNumbered · 02/06/2016 20:31

This is good to know... I am sure he probably hasn't been pining for me either, just saying as much on the text!

OP posts:
justdontevenfuckingstart · 02/06/2016 20:35

Wouldn't miss my oh for a week. It's such a short time when you're carrying on with life. I wouldn't take it as an indicator of how my relationship is. I love being on my own, get majorly pissed off if he turns up early on my day off! Actually would be quite happy if he was away every week gawd luv im.

SwedishEdith · 02/06/2016 20:36

A week on my own would be bliss - and he would feel the same!

RumAppleGinger · 02/06/2016 20:36

Yeah, my bed time routine is a fucking doddle without DH getting in the way. Both kids fast asleep by 7.30pm and the rest of the night to myself.

GrumpyMummy123 · 02/06/2016 20:37

My OH works away a fair but. He was away for about 10 days recently.
I kept busy. Visited my mum for a couple of days. Had extravagant days out. Did stuff I wouldn't normally do with him around, like long baths and warching crap tv. Let DS break the rules, eat fiah fingers and ice cream for tea and just have a bit more fun than normal.

Did I miss him? No not really, I'm quite self sufficient.
Was I happy to have him back? Hell yes! I love him to bits.

We are both self sufficient, capable adults. We adore spending time together and as a family. But spending a bit of time apart I'd no big deal. We don't need to live in each others pockets.

Writerwannabe83 · 02/06/2016 20:38

My DH goes abroad with work a few times a year for between 7-10 days and I love it!!!

I'm sure I do miss him, but it's not something I notice and I certainly don't pine for him Smile

I enjoy the peace and quiet and dread him coming back and ruining it all again Grin

mrsfuzzy · 02/06/2016 20:39

as much as you might love your dh, you are not joined at the hip, you will have so much to catch up with, have fun! Wink

NickyEds · 02/06/2016 20:42

I don't miss dp when he goes away, I just get on with stuff really! Before we had kids I worked from home, so mainly alone and really enjoyed my own company, now a I am never alone unless dp goes away so I make the most of it.

Original poster
GirlOutNumbered · 02/06/2016 20:45

I think I had forgotten how much I enjoyed my own company. The TV hasn't even been on and I have read some books! Blissful..

OP posts:
Chinks123 · 02/06/2016 20:48

That's exactly what I love to do when DP is away; read a good book without his constant loudness in the background Grin I love him to bits but the silence and messy fun me and DD have when he is away is blissful.

Scarydinosaurs · 02/06/2016 20:50

I'm exactly the same! I enjoy having the time to see my friends, organise myself, be selfish with the TV!

I do miss sharing the morning wake ups 😩

Any more than a week and I think I would start to miss him. I think the person who is away does the missing more, as everything is gone for them.

branofthemist · 02/06/2016 20:51

Dh went away for the week and I want him to go again. I loved having time to just myself.

I love him and wouldn't want to be without him, permanently. But I did enjoy it.

HooseRice · 02/06/2016 20:54

I think when it is short bursts like holidays or business trips it's ok not to miss them.

DH has been abroad for a week at a time several times this year and trips to sites across the country most weeks for 2/3 days at a time. I got so much done the first half of this week and some great girlie time with my young daughters and my elderly gran. I've not missed him.

If he went away for weeks on end I'd miss him dreadfully.

heavenlypink · 02/06/2016 20:55

OH going away for the weekend - despite myself and DS being ill I can't wait Wink

froubylou · 02/06/2016 20:57

I love my dp dearly. But I fucking love it when he works away. Generally Monday to Friday so on the Monday I blitz the house and put fresh bedding on.

The sheer luxury of sleeping alone in fresh bedding (with another fresh side to move across to) far outweighs the luxury of having him home for 6pm.

228agreenend · 02/06/2016 21:02

I feel the same and enjoy the 'me'-time (or me and the kids-time). Also, we have a quick chat on the phone most mornings and evenings, so it's not like I'm not in contact with him.

I'm glad you have posted this because I always feel guilty that I don't miss him so much. Films suggest that you have to miss them passionately.

Original poster
GirlOutNumbered · 02/06/2016 21:10

I was actually quite excited that he was going. He kept saying 'are you sure you don't mind?' and I was just thinking, I can go to bed at 9 without anyone complaining!

OP posts:
kazzacam · 02/06/2016 21:15

OMG I love it when my husband works away................

tibbawyrots · 02/06/2016 21:21

Mine is unexpectedly away tonight and I am slobbing out on the sofa watching tv in my dressing gown eating haribo and drinking wine.

Bliss. 😄