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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To limit them to one extra-curricular activity each

56 replies

hippoherostandinghere · 29/05/2016 21:52

We have 2 DC, one boy one girl. DH works full time and I work part time, we both work shifts so there is no set days each week we're both guaranteed to be off.

Ds is 7 and does football after school once a week, trains for a club one evening a week, and will be playing on a sat morning come September.

DD is 4, 5 in July and she currently does gymnastics outside school. She really wants to do dance in September and I have signed her up for piano lessons, 30 mins a week for Sept too.

I seriously can't keep up. DD also goes to GB one evening and they both go to Sunday school. DH is keen for them to start swimming lesson's too. I'm very reluctant to commit to dance for DD, both for money and time reasons. So should I just say one activity each and limit it to gymnastics for DD.

Which activities do your DC love the most? And should I at least give DD the chance to try dancing out. Ds isnt keen on doing anything else, he really doesn't want to do swimming but I think it would be quite important he learnt sooner rather than later.

OP posts:
NatashaRomanoff · 29/05/2016 21:53

DS1 does Cubs, DS2 does karate and tennis. Need to start swimming but don't have time!

Gizlotsmum · 29/05/2016 21:55

DD (8) does ballet, tap, brownies and swimming
DS (4.5) does ballet and swimming, hoping to start him on rugby and tap in sept

eurotrash · 29/05/2016 22:03

Ds 5.5 does Rugby and swimming. He will start beavers in the autumn and possibly dance classes. I'd also like him to take music lessons at some point...

AndNowItsSeven · 29/05/2016 22:07

I think Yabu two or three per child should be manageable.

budgiegirl · 29/05/2016 22:09

I'd say that you should limit your DD to one (or maybe 2 if the 2nd is swimming). But it really depends on how difficult it is for you to get the DC to their activities. I'd leave the piano for a while, 5 is very young to piano lessons, and there's also the practice to consider.

I have 3 DC and they each do 2 clubs outside of school, plus a couple of school clubs each. There are also sports matches (my eldest has had 9 cricket games in the last 10 days!) But they are older than yours. It is a constant battle to arrange how to get them to where they need to be, and I rely a lot on grandparents to help out with lifts.

peaz1 · 29/05/2016 22:10

DS1 goes to two after school activities - it works well as I don't have to attend (both held at school) and swimming on a Saturday.
DS2 goes to swimming on a Saturday. We might sign him up to an after school club in the new school year, but it will be out of school as he will be in reception (the school doesn't run after school activities for reception kids).

SocksRock · 29/05/2016 22:10

DD1 (8) does swimming, cubs, dancing and has music lessons in school time.
DS (6) does swimming, beavers, judo and rugby (winter only)

I take them both to parkrun on a Sunday morning as well.

It's too much in my mind, but it just sort of happened... The swimming I am adamant that they must do, as it's a pretty essential life skill in my mind. The rugby - DH coaches as well, so it's more a thing they do together. Beavers and cubs are the same night, consecutively and we have a drop off/pick up rota with 3 other parents so I only have to do one run out of 3.

kscience · 29/05/2016 22:13

YANBU it is really hard on kids if you can't commit for work reasons to take them regularly. Let them chose the thing they want to do the most.
Have you thought about an intensive course during the holidays for swimming, or teaching them yourself?

Do what's right for your family. Spending time together is just as valuable as playing taxi. Don't feel pressurised to keep up with the Joneses

MapMyMum · 29/05/2016 22:15

Yanbu. I actually think its not good to have too many after school activities, to be busy all the time. Eing bored and coping with it is a life skill as far as Im concerned! But regardless, if you cannot commit to being available to drop and collect them and/or afford them all then Id say hang back

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 29/05/2016 22:15

I think swimming plus one of their choice.

I am not a swimmer, but ds is. Dd has just started lessons too.

That's one thing that could easily save their lives.

And make your summer holidays a lot easier!

My ds has usually done 2 or 3, since starting school.

He knows he is signed up for the term.

I think any more is pushy.

Original poster
hippoherostandinghere · 29/05/2016 22:23

Yes I was thinking of the intensive summer lessons for swimming. There's 1-4 lessons in the local pool, ds might feel a little braver if he was with his wee sister.

I'm just afraid of committing to another activity, like dance, and having to juggle it around work. My parents mind them so it would be more running around for them.

OP posts:
witsender · 29/05/2016 22:25

We've always limited them too. They're home educated so we don't have time pressures, but don't want them tearing around. Dd rides weekly and will have extra swimming lessons over the summer, and Ds is starting football.

ShtoppenDerFloppen · 29/05/2016 22:57

I have 3 DCs. Eldest has a part time job and is in gymnastics. Middle is on a competitive curling team.

Youngest, however, is involved in so many activities I sometimes wonder how it happened. She has physical and cognitive disabilities, so her activities are geared toward her needs, but she is on a gymnastics team (Special Olympics), competes in track and field (also SO), plays baseball and sledge hockey and takes a dance class.

Needless to say, I don't have much of a life.

NatalieRushman · 30/05/2016 12:10

My dsis does karate on Tuesdays, dancing on Wednesdays, karate on Thursdays, badminton on Fridays, piano on Saturdays, and swimming on Sundays. She's about to move up a swimming level too, so that'll be swimming on Mondays as well, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays before karate. Then after summer she'll be in high school which means hockey on Saturday mornings too.

I'm not sure how my parents cope Shock. Thank goodness I was extremely untalented Grin

HighwayDragon1 · 30/05/2016 12:14

We do dance Monday, cheerleading Wednesday, rainbows Friday and gymnastics Saturday. She's about to start swimming Tuesday and horse riding sundays. It's hectic but she loves it, and I love watching her!

TurquoiseMoon · 30/05/2016 12:29

I'd let her try it - so she'll know which one she prefers. I don't think YABU... As long as you allow 1 (at the minimum) Smile

My son is only 2, but does:

  • Swimming
  • Gymnastics
  • Ballet
  • Tap
  • Jazz
  • Musical Theatre
  • Football

I'm taking time off work (until he starts nursery) so it's nice to be busy, as he loves to be active... I get very tired

starry0ne · 30/05/2016 12:44

The 4/5 year old needs much less structrued activity than as they get older.

My DS (9) does swimming, life saving, cubs , cricket and tae kwon do... I already think this is too much.. He is finishing swimming soon. He is finishing stage 7 first.

At 4/5 he did swimming and gymnastics.. Does your DD want to do piano? I think the need for unstructured play at that age it vital esp as schools get more prescriptive.

I have always prioritised swimming until my DS could swim 50 meters... Now we go swiming together and I can swim lenghts and he joins me for some and not for others but can swim 800m so he is safe.

glenthebattleostrich · 30/05/2016 12:48

Dd (6) does gymnastics, rainbows, swimming, drama and tennis. We have an arrangement with another parent where she takes kids to 1 activity and I take the girls to another.

byjimminey · 30/05/2016 14:05

TurquoiseMoon, are you serious? Or does the ballet, tap, musical theatre and jazz all come in one activity (stagecoach or whatever)? That must be costing you a fortune and isn't necessary at all!

TurquoiseMoon · 30/05/2016 14:14

No, they are separate classes! It definitely isn't necessarily, but he really enjoys them - he looks up to the 4 year olds (classes are 2-4, for the dance)... There's something he just really loves about them - it's also really helped his motor skills!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/05/2016 14:15

I thought it was now an essential part of the curriculum to learn swimming at primary school?

My children only do one activity each and learnt to swim at school.
We simply cannot afford more and have the advantage of living in a small village where they can freely roam with friends.

I think it's important children don't have all their time filled with organised activities. It's not necessary.

TurquoiseMoon · 30/05/2016 14:18

The thing is, he really isn't good just sitting in the house. I get bored just being in. We go to the park too (so we do things like that) I guess it just depends what goes with your lifestyle/suits the child.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/05/2016 14:25

Turquoise It's lovely that you want to do all those organised activities with your son, but I don't think its good to be constantly entertained in such a structured way. Children need to be bored sometimes to learn how to entertain themselves. That in itself will encourage creativity.

I understand it's pretty boring stuck on your own with a toddler though. Smile

Kennington · 30/05/2016 14:33

For me swimming is an essential skill. Then on top an instrument but apart from that we prefer to have free time to schlep around London.
I am not chasing my tail here and am slighlty fixated on the academic side of things anyway.

MitzyLeFrouf · 30/05/2016 14:38

Children need to be bored sometimes to learn how to entertain themselves. That in itself will encourage creativity.

I agree completely. I'm against timetabling every free afternoon of a child's life.