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AIBU?

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Original poster

To limit them to one extra-curricular activity each

56 replies

hippoherostandinghere · 29/05/2016 21:52

We have 2 DC, one boy one girl. DH works full time and I work part time, we both work shifts so there is no set days each week we're both guaranteed to be off.

Ds is 7 and does football after school once a week, trains for a club one evening a week, and will be playing on a sat morning come September.

DD is 4, 5 in July and she currently does gymnastics outside school. She really wants to do dance in September and I have signed her up for piano lessons, 30 mins a week for Sept too.

I seriously can't keep up. DD also goes to GB one evening and they both go to Sunday school. DH is keen for them to start swimming lesson's too. I'm very reluctant to commit to dance for DD, both for money and time reasons. So should I just say one activity each and limit it to gymnastics for DD.

Which activities do your DC love the most? And should I at least give DD the chance to try dancing out. Ds isnt keen on doing anything else, he really doesn't want to do swimming but I think it would be quite important he learnt sooner rather than later.

OP posts:
TurquoiseMoon · 30/05/2016 14:38

The classes are only 30 mins though, so 30 mins a day isn't actually bad as being structured? He doesn't do nursery. Also, these toddler dance classes are so far from structured Grin the parents have to take part. I enjoy them, so does he Smile it will be cut down when he goes to school.

TurquoiseMoon · 30/05/2016 14:39

This is going to turn into a right bash at me.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/05/2016 14:42

I was wondering how a 2 year old could learn how to jazz dance..Grin I had visions of top hats, canes and jazz hands.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/05/2016 14:44

Not bashing you Turquoise I'm hardly a perfect parent.

MitzyLeFrouf · 30/05/2016 14:44

Me too! Grin

Tiny little Fred Astaires.

Mirandawest · 30/05/2016 14:45

My DC do brownies and scouts. DD also does a choir on Saturday mornings and DS has a guitar lesson roughly every 3 weeks. As both brownies and scouts have some weekend events, that's about all there's time for.

MitzyLeFrouf · 30/05/2016 14:46

For a two year old it's just a half hour of jumping about having fun but when an 8 year old has nearly every weekday afternoon and every Saturday and Sunday morning set aside for an activity I do think it's a bit much.

Mirandawest · 30/05/2016 14:47

I also agree that learning how to deal with being bored is an important skill.

HelenaJustina · 30/05/2016 14:48

My oldest 3 do swimming, ballet, tap and horseriding. What with homework/reading etc, it's manic after school. As they are different ages, they are in different classes.

DH works full time and I work part time. We only have one day after school when we don't have an activity for someone and riding is on Saturdays.

I'd like them to do an instrument but think it'll need to be piano (we have one) and have someone come to the house and do them all at once!

ghostyslovesheep · 30/05/2016 14:49

YANBU I have 3

DD1 - football - training Thursday plays Sunday
DD2 - Football - trains Monday and Weds plays Sat
DD3 - swimming Friday and Football club Monday

Plus we try and ride over the weekend

Girls football teams are limited and often we have to travel over an hour for a game (few teams scattered over a whole county) it's the whole weekend gone!

chaplin1409 · 30/05/2016 14:59

I have 4 children, dd3 (11) attends a local brass band twice a week, rugby, youth club and from now to September does surfing. Dd4 (10) only attends local brass band. My oldest 2 are members of army cadets and army cadet band so are out twice a week and a lot of weekends.

It really depends how many they can cope with as all children are different and it also depends on your time and spare money.

megletthesecond · 30/05/2016 15:07

Yanbu. Although mine do swimming (same class) then beavers and cubs. DD has recently started code club, but that fits in nicely with going into town so is fairly convenient. We parkrun sometimes but otherwise weekends are sacred, I'm a lp and refuse to timetable weekends.

ElodieS · 30/05/2016 15:19

Finances aside (obviously they can only do what you can afford/is cheap or free in that regard), I'd go with 1 each of their choice + 'compulsory/family activities.

Thankfully DTs (4) love music and swimming, but I think they'd have to do them whether or not they chose to anyway. They then pick one other each, both dance at the moment.

On top of that are any regular family activities, like parkrun (volunteering/supporting or running part of it.

starry0ne · 30/05/2016 15:20

I thought it was now an essential part of the curriculum to learn swimming at primary school? Our school gave 2 terms for our children 3 if they couldn't swim.. Many didn't get to 25 meters.. They also don't start at our school till year 3. I wanted my ds to be able to swim before that.

I found it shocking 7/8 year olds couldn't swim a stroke.

Mominatrix · 30/05/2016 15:52

Swimming is an essential life skill and school swim lessons are a joke. Otherwise, the number of extracurriculars are completely up to you and your family circumstances.

AnotherUsernameBitesTheDust · 30/05/2016 16:03

They did swimming for a term in y3 at my kids school. Strangely enough they didn't learn to swim!

Mine do Scouting, instruments, and 1 does fencing. It means we're out in the evening 3 nights of the week and up early on one weekend day. That's about as much as I can manage, I hate running off all over the place taxiing them around.

They can be bored at home the rest of the time. (It was quite funny watching 12 yo play hide and seek with 8yo earlier)

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 30/05/2016 18:06

It's a crying shame that a lot of schools are not able to teach children basic swimming skills, particularly for families that can't afford private lessons.
Weekly lessons for 1 term seems fairly pointless for all concerned.

I thought the whole idea of including swimming in the curriculum was to make swimming a skill that was compulsory to learn.

ItWentInMyEye · 30/05/2016 18:16

My DC both go swimming, anything more wouldn't currently be possible for us. As it is we only have 2 days out of the week when we get to spend any time as a family. I'd much rather us all sit and play Uno/happy families/go for a walk/cook or bake together etc. I don't feel that they're hard done by and neither do they. Maybe when they're a bit older and when circumstances change they'll do another one alongside swimming.

CaterpillarArmy · 30/05/2016 19:13

another what age did yours start fencing? I wonder if my DD might like it. Is it true it's hugely expensive?

Mine do
volleyball - DS and hopefully DD when she's old enough to join in
Dance - DD
Swimming - DD but teacher wants to give her private lessons. I'm not sure as we can't afford it and only if she would agree to do half half with DS, who can't swim yet.
Judo - DS, maybe DD when she's old enough.
Then we have DS's therapy one afternoon a week which leaves us one afternoon free. I have to factor in 40-75 min travel time for each activity.

Karoleann · 30/05/2016 19:15

DD(5) does ballet, rainbows and swimming.

Ds(7) does cubs, tennis, cricket, swimming, piano and choir (at school). We insist on swimming until they can swim competently.

DS(10) does judo, piano, swimming, cubs, tennis, cricket, hand bells, and 11+ tuition; mainly at school, but he doesn't need a huge amount of sleep and isn't usually in bed until 10ish.

But its completely up to you as a parent how you can manage their and your time, we don't anything that clashes with someone else's activity as I don't like relying on other people to ferry my children around.
I have a blanket ban on violin - as it sounds like a cat is being strangled and horse riding as its inherently dangerous.

Original poster
hippoherostandinghere · 30/05/2016 19:22

I'm in NI and they don't teach swimming in school until the summer term of p5 so ds will be just turned 9 when he learns.

She's quite keen to do piano so I'm happy for her to that.

I'm feeling now I should prioritise swimming for both over dance for just dd.

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 30/05/2016 22:14

Ds is 9:
He does swimming lessons on a weekend at a local pool.
He does martial arts twice a week after school.
He does music lessons within school time.
He goes to cubs.
He does choir after school once a week.

He is an only child, so both of us are involved with attending, transporting, etc.

I suspect we'll have to reconsider some of these once he goes to secondary school.

harverina · 30/05/2016 22:34

Yanbu.

We have a limit of two activities per week. Dd1 currently goes to ballet and swimming lessons. She has been doing her swimming for quite a while now so I have agreed that in August she can pick another activity. It is going to be between drama or tennis.

Dd2 goes to book bug and play group. She is only 2 but we will start swimming lessons when she is around 3.5/4.

I don't understand the need for young children to go to so many activities.

harverina · 30/05/2016 22:37

Those of you whose children go to activities most days - when do they have time to chill out and play?

MrsSpecter · 30/05/2016 22:46

Mine do scouts (two different evenings), martial arts, piano(eldest only) guitar (eldest only), dancing (youngest only- 2 nights per week). We have clubs/classes 4 nights a week, 2 activities on 3 of those nights and extras on weekends like scout camp/dance competition/jujitsu grading. I'm a lone parent so its all on me. I work part time and yes some evenings we are cutting it fine to get there on time but we mostly do. You just get into a routine and being organised with kit makes a big difference. There are evenings where i would happily say "cant be arsed" but it wouldnt be fair on them. It helps that everything is only a couple of minutes drive by car and we can usually walk time permitting.

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