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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school are partly to blame?

54 replies

Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:25

Today my son (8) got into a scrape at school, they were getting changed after swimming and apparently the conversation moved to 'S-E-X' (to quote my son) and 'sexist ladies' and much hilarity. The boys started dancing around naked, singing 'Heyyy Sexy Lady' and at this point they were all busted- now they will all change in separate cubicles for this 'inappropriate behaviour'.

But- that song 'Gangnam Style' featuring that line 'hey Sexy lady' has been played at every school disco to date. Is it me, or is it a bit silly for them to suddenly take exception to the song they played to those boys? I know they also happened to be naked, but that's because of swimming, rather than them being weird

OP posts:
EveryoneElsie · 27/05/2016 20:27

Sounds like they were being normal 8 years olds to me.

Pipbin · 27/05/2016 20:27

Hmmm, I think that the lyrics of the song might not be the point here rather it was that they were dancing around singing, not getting changed.

curren · 27/05/2016 20:29

It's their fault because it was played at a school disco?

They have never heard the song anywhere else....ever?

They are getting changed in cubicles because they were messing about and not getting changed.

Original poster
Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:31

I can see that dancing rather than dressing is less than ideal!

It's caused some hoo-haa because a couple of those boys (just boys in the room) have yet to have the 'sex talk'. I think you should really have that done by now, Year 3 is nearly over...

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Original poster
Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:32

curren- for the sake of accuracy- every school disco. Not just one!

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arethereanyleftatall · 27/05/2016 20:33

It's you. You've misunderstood. They're getting told off for mucking about.

fwiw my dc think that song is 'hey, sixty ladies'.

curren · 27/05/2016 20:34

Oh no every school disco? Well it's definitely the schools fault.Wink

Again, they will have heard the song other places too.

The sex talk in year 3?

balia · 27/05/2016 20:35

Because if they'd been messing about in the changing room, dancing around on a wet floor, not getting changed like they were supposed to and singing the National Anthem the school would have been just fine with it, right? AND it's the school's fault for taking them swimming, anyway, because otherwise they wouldn't have been naked...

arethereanyleftatall · 27/05/2016 20:35

I actually don't think you should have had the sex talk by 8. Depending on how explicit you mean. Mind, my eldest is 7.5 so maybe she'll mature a lot in the next year. But I hope not!

Pipbin · 27/05/2016 20:36

I think the sex talk happens in year 5 or 6.
Singing the lyrics to a song that include the words 'sexy lady' has bugger all to do with sex really.
As said above, this can't be the only place they've heard the song.

Original poster
Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:37

We did it before Year 3, to be fair. The kids asked- to prevent the exact situation that arose today, with red-faced parents of 'the boys changing room' all miffed because the sex thing came up in a changing room and they've never discussed it with their son before.

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Wolfiefan · 27/05/2016 20:37

It's not the lyrics that are the problem. It's the fact they were arsing about naked instead of putting clothes on.
Nothing here is the fault of the school.

Original poster
Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:39

Agreed, Pip, but like I said, the singing came out of the boys asking each other about sex.

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Original poster
Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:40

Balia- keep. in mind, the school did specifically mention the sex talk and the song. There is always horseplay, they are Year 3 boys. It was the nature of the horseplay that is causing them to be separated.

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CoolforKittyCats · 27/05/2016 20:42

I agree with others.

The song is a red herring. They are in trouble for messing about.

OrangesandLemonsNow · 27/05/2016 20:44

It was the nature of the horseplay that is causing them to be separated.

They were dancing around naked and messing about whilst they shold have been getting dressed. That is the issue.

Original poster
Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:46

From having spoken to the teacher, it's not just that it was mucking about. I'm not saying 'and now they will all be arrested', that is silly, but obviously I have dust used this with the teacher and my son, I know what the bother is.

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Original poster
Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:47

*discussed, not dust used.

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Wolfiefan · 27/05/2016 20:51

Well I'm afraid you aren't making it clear here. Unless they were discussing porn or disclosing incidences of abuse (so a massive child protection issue) I can't see the major issue.
Kids talk about sex. I remember my son coming home at a very young age and telling me about "gay men are men who love and kiss each other" I said yes that's right and we talked about different types of relationships briefly. No damage done!

YouTheCat · 27/05/2016 20:53

So, who allowed him to go to the school disco and be exposed to these salacious lyrics? Hmm

Their behaviour was inappropriate and the punishment is fair.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/05/2016 20:55

They could have been singing. Twinkle Twinkle little star, but they would have still gotten into trouble. As they were dancing around and singing as rather than doing as they were told

AnnaMarlowe · 27/05/2016 20:56

I think several things are going on here:

Boys messing about undressed instead of getting changed = inappropriate and punishment

Patents upset at the nature of discussion preceding messing about get flustered.

The two things are separate though - the boys wouldn't have been in trouble for a quiet sensible (ish) about sex.

If I'd been in charge I'd have told them off for the behaviour and I discussed sex with my son at 5 yo.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 27/05/2016 20:56

You are right, the school is to blame for allowing Y3 boys to change together and for expecting them not to arse around naked because the teacher couldn't go in with naked boys dancing and probably willy-waving, bum-waggling and singing songs with s-e-x in them.
So now the school have realised that they aren't trustworthy, they have acted to solve the problem.
And your point is?

Original poster
Banderwassnatched · 27/05/2016 20:56

No, nothing about abuse, obviously that would have caused a safeguarding thing and I wouldn't be sat here blithely talking about it online. Like I said, it has ruffled some feathers because certain parents weren't prepared to have those conversations, in particular the kids have been left thinking it was a naughty subject, rather than just that they were arising about and that is bad (which they do pretty much all the time).

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TheSolitaryBoojum · 27/05/2016 21:00

You will always have parents that think their child can be protected from their wicked and worldly peers. Do they think the conversations don't happen in the playground and in the boys changing rooms and most times boys are out of adult earshot? Because they are mistaken.

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