To think the school are partly to blame?

[Banderwassnatched]

Today my son (8) got into a scrape at school, they were getting changed after swimming and apparently the conversation moved to 'S-E-X' (to quote my son) and 'sexist ladies' and much hilarity. The boys started dancing around naked, singing 'Heyyy Sexy Lady' and at this point they were all busted- now they will all change in separate cubicles for this 'inappropriate behaviour'.

But- that song 'Gangnam Style' featuring that line 'hey Sexy lady' has been played at every school disco to date. Is it me, or is it a bit silly for them to suddenly take exception to the song they played to those boys? I know they also happened to be naked, but that's because of swimming, rather than them being weird

[TheSolitaryBoojum]

Maybe school discos are the problem.

[nanetterose]

I don't get the 'sex talk' bit. Is that supposed to be completed by yr 3 these days? bearing in mind some of then are still only seven. What could you tell a yr3 that would have wrapped up the :sex talk: by then anyway. More importantly stopped them from laughing?
I'm 44 and still think it amusing at times.

[curren]

Having the sex talk does not stop kids giggling or talking about it.

Dd is in secondary and some of them still find it all hilarious.

They would have got into trouble running round naked and thrusting to a nursery rhyme.

[enterYourPassword]

It sounds to me like a lot of parents looking to avoid responsibility. Modern parenting seems to implicitly and explicitly be all about 'rights' and no 'responsibilities'. They were being silly. They were told off. You (plural) think it's anyone but your fault.

[musicposy]

Ah, now I understand, OP. Yes, I would be cross about the school making a "thing" of it too. This sort of stuff happens, especially with small boys. Tell them it's inappropriate and nobody wants to see such silliness, sanction if necessary, move on. I did wonder why the school had a meeting with parents - that seems like mountain/ molehill to me unless they've had complaints from lots of PFB types. When I taught infants I now and then had boys flashing willies at PE time. A brisk "nobody wants to see that; get changed sensibly please" was usually enough, no further action needed. Only a repeat or persistent offender would raise concerns enough to take it further.

[acasualobserver]

If the school is making this a child protection issue then it has lost all sense of proportion but, then again, it's not difficult to work out why they might have.

[Banderwassnatched]

by teachers presumably, Happy
By TAs, not that it matters.

[AuntieUrsula]

Oh come on people, the OP clearly says that the teacher specifically told the parents the kids were told off for the inappropriate sex talk and not for simply messing around - which is what any normal person would think.

I don't think it's the school's 'fault' as such, but their double standards would hack me off too!

[Banderwassnatched]

acasualobserver- I'll tell you how- with difficulty. It is funny. But the school have a history of coming down on this stuff quite hard, so I was slightly concerned this was about to turn into a Big Deal, even a safeguarding. When it comes to overreacting, they have form.

Rosie- I know because I heard another parent vociferating that she'd never discussed sex with her son at all.

. No, sorry, the children behaved badly so will have to accept the consequences. Tough.
No worries! No, that's not the bit that concerned me. It was rather the schools reaction to the talk and sexy singing. They made a Thing of it, which made it different from my sons many other misdemeanors.

[acasualobserver]

I'm not a parent so I probably don't 'get it' but when you hear this:
the conversation moved to 'S-E-X' (to quote my son) and 'sexist ladies' and much hilarity. The boys started dancing around naked, singing 'Heyyy Sexy Lady' and at this point they were all busted- now they will all change in separate cubicles
how do you stop yourself laughing?

[OrigamiOverload]

The same sanction would likely have been used if they had been dancing around singing "If you're happy and you know it."

The school can't condone silly behaviour just becuase it was to a song they played at a disco.

[musicposy]

I used to teach in a primary school which had its own outdoor swimming pool. It was lovely because we went most days in the summer term. It was also horrendous because behaviour like this happened all the time. Luckily there were 3 classes per year group and some great parent helpers because it would have been a nightmare with just a teacher and a TA.

We also had to eventually take the boys to change separately, away from the girls and each other. There were two wooden cubicles and of course one lad thought it would be funny to try to see through any cracks into the wood to the girls. Others thought this was hilarious and tried to copy. Then we had the dancing about-lets-see-how high-I-can-waggle-my-willy high jinks. They were 8 and 9 year olds, so there was nothing behind it except silliness and egging each other on. However, it still wasn't appropriate to allow them to behave like it so in the end they were marched off to the boys toilets to change individually.

Parents complained then too. Complained their DCs were walking across the playground in wet trunks (they had towels, it was hot, no one was going to get hypothermia), complained little Johnny was being punished for something his classmates had done, and yes, complained that we were making bodies seem forbidden and naughty.

None of those held water with the teachers. It's part of training them to be responsible adults to see that some behaviour is not appropriate in some settings. We were training them that if you want to change together in the changing room, you have to be sensible. Better to learn it at 8 when silly behaviour is of far less consequence.

No, it's not the school's fault. If there are songs you think are inappropriate at the disco, tackle that at the disco. Don't conflate the two issues.

[TerriblePlanning]

I am sure that the school did not tell them off about talking about sex as there doesn't seem to have been anyone supervising them at that point, otherwise the behaviour would not have escalated to such a level. and if there was someone supervising then they obviously were not doing their job properly

[PunkrockerGirl]

they were all busted
by teachers presumably, Happy
They were badly behaved and op is trying to justify their bad behaviour by placing the blame on the organisers of a disco which not all the children will have attended. No, sorry, the children behaved badly so will have to accept the consequences. Tough. That's life and the sooner children accept that there will be consequences for bad behaviour, the easier they will find their future school life.

[TerriblePlanning]

a) Gangham style is not about sex.
b) So what if parents have not had "the sex talk" with their DC, what's that got to do with them being silly
c) it doesn't make you a better parent that your son knows about sex at age 8 (you come across as quite smug)
d) the boys were being very silly instead of getting changed

[PunkrockerGirl]

This is reminiscent of the Supersoaker party etiquette thread in mn classics (different subject, obviously).
OP: aibu?
Replies: yes you are.
OP: no I'm not.
Replies: Okaaay then

[HappyNevertheless]

Punk I don't think. The OP has any issue with the teachers...

[HappyNevertheless]

Then yes, that's the reason why I'm unconfortable with some of these songs, incl the 'dance moves'.
They are all vert explicit and children at that age have no idea what iot means apart from the vague feeling it's about S-E-X and it makes peole giggle.


I also know very few people agree with me and can see no issue at all with the songs. It seems that children. Are. Suppose to 'know' that singing at a disco sexy sexy sexy sexy lady etc.. Or. Making dance moves that include pelvis thrusts Is ok but doing the same thing at a swimming pool isn't....

[PunkrockerGirl]

It's threads like this that make me thank God I never became a teacher. Ffs.

[Banderwassnatched]

HN- no, I'm saying the school told them off for talking about sex, laughing about sex, shouting about Sexy ladies and then singing and naked dancing complete with pelvic thrusts, and then relayed the whole lot to parents in a 'talk'.

[Banderwassnatched]

flapping- not at all. I live with him, remember, I know he's a handful. If you've read my previous comments on this thread, I'm aware of his constant frequent infractions of the rules. He is also quite lazy. That wasn't what this was about; mistakenly thinking he's an angel. He has a twin sister who is never in trouble at school. I can tell the difference!

[Wolfiefan]

You are missing the point. Your child was misbehaving. There was a consequence. End of.

[HappyNevertheless]

Hold on, do you mean that the school told them off for sayng the words of the song whilst fooling around because these words were about sex and it was inappropriate?
And that despite the fact, they knew the words because they've learnt them from the disco?

So in effect, what you are saying is that their ta wasn't that inappropriate and sexual, just them signing a song they learnt at school.

Am I getting that right?

[flappingbingowings]

You appear to be one of those parents who thinks their child can do no wrong. Your boy was dancing around waving his meat and two veg to all and sundry to a crapoy pop song, and you are complaining he was disciplined. Get a grip.