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AIBU?

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Original poster

How ill do your kids have to be before you keep them off?

99 replies

sockrage · 22/05/2016 21:07

For transparency dd usually has 98.8 - 100% attendance.

This year she has 97. Something. She has had three days off poorly plus half a day lost mark when she left school an hour before the end of school but two minutes before the afternoon register was taken. (weird day set up and only one period after lunch)

She has an awful cough and is coughing all the time. Her nose is running badly and she is running a minor temp.

The last time I sent her in like this teachers made comments how ill she was and how her eyes were streaming and it made me feel like a crap mother.

She is feeling rotten but imo it is just a bad cold. If it was me I would proprably be in work.

OP posts:
neolara · 22/05/2016 21:11

Would depend how high the temperature is. If its 100 or over its a definite day off. If its 99 then I'd probably give calpol and take a view depending on how perky they were.

Ameliablue · 22/05/2016 21:12

From your description I would keep her off and I would probably be sent home from work if I turned up like that.

WordGetsAround · 22/05/2016 21:13

Depends what year / school they are in. For reception, I'd keep them off if they were really knackered. In year 10, they would have to be bed bound!

crazycatlady34 · 22/05/2016 21:15

I think if she can concentrate and do work then she should go. I think your instincts will tell you if she's well enough and you also have to consider other pupils and how contagious she is. See how she behaves if you let her stay off- if she suddenly lights up and is fine she can be at school! Hope she feels better soon x

MillieMoodle · 22/05/2016 21:16

How old is she? Tbh I usually send DS (5) to school if he's got a cold. If it's really bad then I'd consider keeping him at home.
He had a day off in his first term as he had a sickness bug and then he had a week off in Feb as he had tonsillitis and flu; his temp was nearly 40 and he was so listless for the first 3 days. He was on the mend after that but got very tired, very quickly so I felt it best that he just rest, rather than go back too soon. About 2/3 of his class were off with the same thing at the same time though and I think the teachers were quite relieved when children were kept off; we had lots of emails reminding us to keep poorly children at home!

Arfarfanarf · 22/05/2016 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Xmasbaby11 · 22/05/2016 21:18

I'd let her stay off. If she's coughing all the time it'll be hard for her to concentrate. Coughing is tiring too.

I hope she feels better soon.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 22/05/2016 21:19

My DS has been off for a full week so far because he had norovirus. It was pretty bad.

I'm crap at maths - does anybody know what my DS's attendance percentage is if he's had 5 days off?

Hairyspiderinyourunderwear · 22/05/2016 21:21

If you are worried about attendance you could bring her in but stop at the office on the way in and let them know you are in two minds and would like to keep her home but her attendance had dropped a little this year because he has had some minor illness. Let them make the call and then if you get criticized you can say that they said she looked too ill.

Sometimes I would send them in if was borderline but send in a note to the office saying that it was hard to decide whether he was ill enough to stay home and that if he got any worse or he felt like he wanted to be at home I'd be happy to run up during the day and get him and they could just call me and I'd come straight down.

bigTillyMint · 22/05/2016 21:21

It sounds like your DD is at secondary? If so, she is old enough to know whether she is able to soldier on or if she can't get out of bed and do a full day of school tomorrow morning.

There is a difference between feeling ill and actually feeling ill enough to be off work/school and older children need to be able to make that decision.

Ripeberry · 22/05/2016 21:22

Vomiting or not being able to walk. No other excuse for not going to school or work for that matter. I'm nasty...

Original poster
sockrage · 22/05/2016 21:23

Arf Blush
I know but I would be made to go in work.

I would obviously attempt to not to breath on anyone Wink

OP posts:
starry0ne · 22/05/2016 21:25

I think the comparisons between school and work are wrong..

If they are not well enough to learn pop them on the sofa under a duvet.. I would Calpol and see how child is with cold..If up coughing through the night... Sofa..

To be fair through I hate people going into work that are too ill to be in work themselves.

Witchend · 22/05/2016 21:25

Dd1 she would have not to be able to get out of bed. And I'd probably have to sit on her to stop her. Last time she had time off was in 2008.

Dd2 looks terrible when she's bad. She gets migraines and looks like death warmed up. Other than that something I can see, either vomit or temperature.

Ds is trickier. He hates school and would rather be with me. He has a couple of health conditions that mean he can tell me when he's in pain, but no visible signs. He also tends to behave badly when ill, both in lack of concentration and get upset/frustrated easily. So then gets into trouble, hates school more.... Etc.
So I have to play it much more by ear.

I'm not too bad at it. It's unusual for them to be sent home ill when I've been unsure ( happened 2-3 times) and their attendance is usually 97%+.

Stoneagemum · 22/05/2016 21:26

190 days per year 2 sessions per day so 380 sessions/attendance marks. 1 week off = 10 sessions.
So 380-10 = 370.
370/380 = 0.97368......
Making attendance 97.4% assuming no further days off until end of year.

In reality the actual figure right now will be lower as they have not completed 380 sessions since the start of the year as we are only in May.

AwfulBeryl · 22/05/2016 21:27

How old is she and what does she say, does she think she is ok for school ?

Stoneagemum · 22/05/2016 21:28

^that was for can't wait

DiggersRest · 22/05/2016 21:29

I can't imagine dragging a sick dc into the school office for them to decide if they were sick enough for a day off. Some posters are bonkers.

Enkopkaffetak · 22/05/2016 21:30

For me it depends on the child, the time of year and what type of sickness.

DS in the last year have been very sick with a kidney issue so if he said he wasnt feeling ok he was allowed to stay home. (However this was with a GOSH involvement)

DD1 is in 6th form and frankly needs a high temp before I agree. She is pretty good though

DD2 I let have a day off last week because she was just not up for school (sufferes fro anxiety) it was the first day off this year,

DD3.... well i sent her to school the day after she was hit by a car...

Cocolepew · 22/05/2016 21:31

Sometimes the best thing is a couple of days off for a cold. Its not always "just" a cold, I feel pretty shit when I get one.
DD is going into her third week off, I couldn't give a shit about attendance percent atm, shes too ill to go in.

MakingJudySmile · 22/05/2016 21:32

Any of these three; diarrhoea, vomiting or fever.

BaldBaby1970 · 22/05/2016 21:33

My benchmarks for absence are:

Temperature
Vomiting
Coughing/stuffiness sufficient to prevent concentration

Not all at once obvs. The school advise keeping the child at home if either of the first two apply. If the child is feeling grotty but doesn't have a temperature or sickness the school say send 'em in and they'll decide whether to send them home.

Hassled · 22/05/2016 21:34

It does sort of depend on age, I think. But if she's coughing all the time, feels rotten and has a bit of a temperature then that sounds like a duvet day to me.

I toughened up no end when I went back to work - in my SAHM days, I was a total soft touch and the kids were off at the drop of a hat. Now I'm hard as nails - they have to be bleeding from the jugular at least.

PeppasNanna · 22/05/2016 21:36

Vomiting/diarrhoea/fever.

Colds, coughs etc they go to school.

CantWaitForWarmWeather · 22/05/2016 21:39

Thankyou Stoneagemum

That's useful to know :)