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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to turn down this invitation?

32 replies

RosieandJim89 · 12/05/2016 22:21

DH has just told me that a friend has got tickets for us to go to a race meeting. I have always wanted to go but the company isn't exactly inviting. I attendance would be me, DH, FIL, and DH's friend.

Said friend is sooooo boring. DH even admits this but says he feels sorry for him as he just split with his gf of 10 years. FIL doesn't talk much and although we get on okay it really isn't my idea of good fun.

I feel bad saying I don't want to go because of the company but it is true. If a friend of mine was joining us or anyone I could have an actual conversation with I would be itching to go. I have always wanted to go to the races but not like this. I am being silly? Would you go?

OP posts:

YumBountyChoc · 12/05/2016 22:23

Could you ask if one of your friends could come too?

Otherwise you're being a bit UR if you have always wanted to go. Suck it up, you may never get the opportunity again.

Original poster

RosieandJim89 · 12/05/2016 22:30

I don't feel I could invite a friend of mine as DH's friend got us the tickets due to his work sponsoring the event. I probably would at some point in the next few years be able to go as there are meetings in our city 3-4 times a year. The only reason we haven't been so far is child care.

OP posts:

TendonQueen · 12/05/2016 22:34

It's one night, they got you tickets, and it's something you've always wanted to do. I'd go.

Leeds2 · 12/05/2016 23:29

I would go, yes.

potoftea · 12/05/2016 23:30

I wouldn't go...its a fairly social type of thing and you need to chat and laugh with the people you are with in order to enjoy it. Different if it was a show or movie, you only socialise at an interval.
Could you suggest that they ask another male friend and make it a lads night out maybe?

Witchend · 12/05/2016 23:44

I think you should refuse. And let this chap go with some people who like him and don't call him "friend" but say behind his back that he's so boring you don't want to go with him to something you've always wanted to go to.

I may be feeling slightly biased as this is similar to what dd1 is going through at school at present. They're 15yo. Are you thinking you're any more mature than that?

WhereYouLeftIt · 13/05/2016 00:16

"I feel bad saying I don't want to go because of the company but it is true."
Then say that you don't want to spoil the group dynamic and that DH should enjoy a boy's day out with his friend and his dad?

BlueFolly · 13/05/2016 00:21

If a friend of mine was joining us or anyone I could have an actual conversation with I would be itching to go.

Does your DH not count?

Liiinooo · 13/05/2016 00:25

I would go. Racing is exciting. We've all seen photos of the Queen, normally so reserved and formal, getting carried away at Ascot (other race courses are available ). You might see another side of your normally boring companions.

Iknownuffink · 13/05/2016 00:38

Bite the bullet and go. Can't say I would ever want to go to a day at the races. Hey horses for courses!

Pinkginandolives · 13/05/2016 00:48

Please don't go. Last thing your dh's depressed friend needs is you pulling a cats bum face cos you think he's not entertaining enough for you. They'll all have a great time without you. And you could maybe stay and home and practise being mature and kind.

Winterbiscuit · 13/05/2016 00:58

What Pinkginandolives said.

RosieSW · 13/05/2016 01:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/05/2016 01:09

I'd go. Especially if its something youve always wanted to do, And as the ticket are freeIt's one night. Not a thousand years.
Just have some, lots of wine, so he won't seem as boring

GarlicShake · 13/05/2016 01:18

I'd go, and be the fun company. I understand not everyone's up to that but, even so, it's an exciting atmosphere and there's plenty to do. It's one day! If it doesn't work out, shrug and write it off.

I'm kind of assuming it's horse racing - if so, I don't know whether to be envious or not! Brilliant fun, but bad for the animals

Regardless of my undecided envy, go! Hope you enjoy yourself and even come out a bit better off :)

Iknownuffink · 13/05/2016 01:48

Wear something that will not be emblazoned on the WWW as a joke outfit.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 13/05/2016 02:01

I'm with Pinkgin too. Don't go, you'll spoil everyone else's fun.

Truffles04 · 13/05/2016 02:06

Do you think perhaps they might share your enthusiasm over the event and it might make for easier socialisation between you?

herecomethepotatoes · 13/05/2016 02:36

witchend is spot on but I think the bias comes from being a normal mature adult and nothing to do with whatever he 15 year old is going through.

RosieSW · 13/05/2016 04:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

icklekid · 13/05/2016 04:06

I thought same as blue gp and have a good time with your dh to talk to. If you really don't want to though agree with others about letting them have a boys night out!

Cherryminx · 13/05/2016 04:30

Racing is fun. There is loads to do and look at and the fun of backing a winner. It means there's lots to talk about too. Sometimes people who aren't good at general social chit chat come into their own in a shared experience situation.

I'd go but then I love racing. Which race course is it?

herecomethepotatoes · 13/05/2016 04:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

herecomethepotatoes · 13/05/2016 04:44

This reply has been deleted

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herecomethepotatoes · 13/05/2016 04:44

@Rosie Yep.

Witchend Thu 12-May-16 23:44:54
"I think you should refuse. And let this chap go with some people who like him and don't call him "friend" but say behind his back that he's so boring you don't want to go with him to something you've always wanted to go to.

I may be feeling slightly biased as this is similar to what dd1 is going through at school at present. They're 15yo. Are you thinking you're any more mature than that? angry"

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