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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is an utter tragedy

43 replies

Justmeagain78 · 12/05/2016 18:05

broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/sexual-abuse-victim-in-her-20s-allowed-suicide-by-doctors-in-netherlands

A Dutch woman in her 20s was euthanized using a lethal injection after her doctors determined that the post-traumatic symptoms she suffered as a result of childhood sexual abuse were "unbearable."

Aibu to think this girl should have been helped to live not to die.

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 12/05/2016 18:11

This is a tragedy, but I see nothing to suggest she was denied help and her only option was suicide.

Her being able to choose the manner and time of her death is, in my opinion, possibly the only glimmer of light in a life where so many things were ripped from her at such a young age.

Kidnapped · 12/05/2016 18:11

I don't know. Honestly.

Whose decision is it whether to live or die?

Hers? Or someone else's?

If she has decided that her life is unbearable then who are any of us to tell her that she has to continue to bear it? And for whose benefit should she continue to bear it?

SaucyJack · 12/05/2016 18:14

Do you agree with with euthanasia for people with physical illnesses OP?

howtorebuild · 12/05/2016 18:15

I am split. On one side it looks like they found it easier to get rid of the problem. On the other side this poor girl was victimised and then let down and victim blamed for poor or useless medication and therapy, so she had no other escape from a hellish life.

RandomMess · 12/05/2016 18:15

Honestly, I don't know either.

There is so so so little help for anyone suffering from childhood trauma, I can understand her desperation Sad

howtorebuild · 12/05/2016 18:18

Other people choose slow suicide in my opinion, partaking in risky sports/behaviour or addictions to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and food.

sepa · 12/05/2016 18:19

That's so sad. I too lived through it. For what seemed like forever my life was unbearable. I tried multiple times to end my life.
I then met my DP who changed my whole world around. I'm so happy with the way my life has turned out. We have a gorgeous DD. A lovely home and a fantastic family. It was extreamly hard to get to where I am today but when I'm having a dark day I look at what I do have and make it my mission to not let the abuser ruin my life any further.

I'm not saying that it's easy but there is a lot of support out there when you allow yourself to be helped

Kidnapped · 12/05/2016 18:21

I'm sorry about what you suffered, sepa.

Glad that you've been able to make yourself a much better life.

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 12/05/2016 18:22

There's a video (I think by the economist) on YouTube about a similar case in Belgium. It's called 24 and ready to do. The young woman was given permission to end her life, due to mental health problems, but ended up changing her mind at the very last minute, as her life since she'd got the go ahead was ok. Sometimes knowing that there is a way out if they need it gives people the strength to carry on.

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 12/05/2016 18:22

*ready to die!

WriteforFun1 · 12/05/2016 18:26

I don't think anyone should feel obliged to continue to live. I was very annoyed that the papers are trying to expose a lady who refused kidney dialysis. I would probably refuse it too. I don't come from the "life is precious" school of thought, I don't see why anyone should have it foisted on them, our parents made that decision, selfishly, once already!

PrivatePike · 12/05/2016 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WriteforFun1 · 12/05/2016 18:32

Private - you mean the second bit or the first bit? I suspect you're talking about the second... I think plenty of people don't feel life is precious tbh.

Mishaps · 12/05/2016 18:33

It sounds like a reflection of poor service and treatment for MH problems.

MagratsFlyawayHair · 12/05/2016 18:33

I think if she was judged to have capacity to make that choice then she should be allowed to choose to pass quietly. Better than committing suicide, alone and potentially painfully. Our societal views on death are to fear it and hate it. This comes, I suppose, because we fear being left behind by the person who dies and we worry about pain and the unkown.

If someone, of any age, has good reason to feel they don't wish to continue living with the hand they've been dealt then it's merciful, kind and humane to support them to pass away in a quiet and dignified manner. It's not our life to moralise on.

WriteforFun1 · 12/05/2016 18:34

Magrats, beautifully put.

NanaNina · 12/05/2016 18:35

I think we should have control over own destiny - why not. Euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands. Dignity in Switzerland takes a long time to plan and costs 7.000 euros. We put animals to sleep quickly and painlessly when necessary. Why not us?

TattyCat · 12/05/2016 18:36

It's not our life to moralise on.

This.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/05/2016 18:39

I was reading about this a few days ago and it's been playing on my mind since. It left me torn and awfully unsettled. It is a genuine tragedy.

Kidnapped · 12/05/2016 18:42

Maybe when society has failed someone so badly (generally, not pointing fingers here), it really is up to society to ensure that we honour the person's wishes in the best way that is possible in the circumstances.

Maybe it's the least we can do. Maybe it's the only thing we can do.

Esspee · 12/05/2016 18:50

Magrats, how beautifully expressed. Thank you for sharing your views.

Labbiemum16 · 12/05/2016 18:51

So beautifully put Margate, i only wish all the people who have or are suffering with no hope of any quality of life were able to make this choice legally.

Original poster
Justmeagain78 · 12/05/2016 18:52

Saucyjack I am conflicted. I agree with euthanasia because I don't think people should be made to suffer but then logically it should apply to mental illness too. Maybe it's because I feel (wrongly) that abuse victims can be helped in a at that terminally ill people can't but I guess that's wrong because mental trauma can be just as bad as physical pain. It's just such a tragedy - her life could have been so different if she hadn't been abused.

OP posts:
Labbiemum16 · 12/05/2016 18:53

Magrats even, apologies i hate autocorrect.

Clarissa69 · 12/05/2016 19:00

So sad.....but agree with Magrat. I do wonder though how this can be the answer when there were other choices and it wasn't a life of a terminally ill person or someone who would absolutely have no quality of life. I just don't know.....