To think this is an utter tragedy

[Justmeagain78]

broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/sexual-abuse-victim-in-her-20s-allowed-suicide-by-doctors-in-netherlands

A Dutch woman in her 20s was euthanized using a lethal injection after her doctors determined that the post-traumatic symptoms she suffered as a result of childhood sexual abuse were "unbearable."

Aibu to think this girl should have been helped to live not to die.

I don't know. I worked for 5 years with people who'd been sexually abused, mostly as children, and one of those people ended her life. It was awfully sad, but no surprise at all that that's what she chose to do. Some people's lives have been made unbearable. I couldn't stay in that field any longer for my own sanity and that's a million miles away from living through things.

I think that six months ago I would have jumped at the idea. I wanted to die. I actually thought that I couldn't live another day more. Luckily I was sectioned and although things are far from rosy, most of the time I am glad that someone stopped me.

I have a severe mental illness. The doctors told my parents that I would never have an independent life and who knows, they might be right. I don't know if I will ever be better and a part of me is so scared of a lifetime of this illness that suicide seems the only option, but I have to try and remember the good days.

I worry that if this was available where I live then it would make my mind up for me...

It does mystify me why everyone is so adamant that mental health problems are fixable in some way when we easily accept many physical conditions are terminal or can only be managed, not cured.

The person I would be was murdered by the person who abused me.

It destroyed the ability for the person I should have become to be formed.

I'm not saying Iv not turned out ok or that I would choose to do what (imo brave) woman has chosen for herself but the awful experiences that were forced upon me as child fundamentally changed who I became and how I view the world and how I see my place in it.

If someone who has been through what I and others have choose to not live with the extreme damage and mutilation we've been forced to live with then we should have the control (that we didn't have as a child) to do so.

We fought to survive what happened to us we shouldn't have to fight to end it if we choose.

I have really mixed feelings about this.

On one hand I think that if an individual is of sound mind and chooses to end their life, who am I to tell them they can't? And to help them die peacefully and comfortably in a controlled fashion has to be a "good" way to do it.

Conversely I wonder if someone who was considering death may be liable to change their mind, and if so do we have a responsibility to prevent them and support them? But mental illness is such a complex area and how do we know if their insistency they want to die is consistent. At what point do we accept they are 100% sure?

It's an utter tragedy.

I knew a young woman sexually abused as a child who self harmed to the point of inserting glass into her body. She endured upwards of 30 operations and had counselling from an early age until she died from the results of her self harming. I have never in my life seen a soul so tortured by the past as she was and frankly I feel she is now free from that misery.

We seem to believe understanding, safety and counselling can cure all. It doesn't.

The best thing you can do in life is show kindness to others with boundaries.

I'm torn. As a MH professional my primary response is it is horrendous and I object to it in every way. I've known many people be absolutely desperate to die at one stage or another but make a good recovery (me included).

I've also known (fortunately only a few) people be nursed on inpatient wards on a 1:1 or even 2:1 because their risk to themselves is so great and they attempt to harm themselves at every opportunity. And no medication or therapy seems to make a difference.

The longest I've known that happen was 10 years. At that point, services thought the previous 10 years hadn't improved MH so maybe it was the cycle of 1:1 and constant institutionalisation that was making it worse so after numerous meetings it was decided to try 5 minute checks instead of constant 1:1. In a room with no obvious ways to kill themselves they managed it.

For years the person had begged professionals to end their suffering and in the time I knew them there were times that they talked to me about their pain and I suspected there was nothing anyone could do and I just wanted to open the door and let them go to do what they wanted to do but of course never would.

Hm.
If one agrees with euthanasia for physical disease then logically the same should be true for mental illness.
BUT - progressive physical disease always ends in death whereas even the most sever MH problem can go in to remission.

I think in this case I feel that by choosing death she denied herself the option of improvement.

Tragic and sad, and yes, not for any of us to judge.

This is possibly the most difficult question to answer I have seen on MN. It is absolutely understandable that someone reaches the point where they believe their life is not worth living as a result of childhood abuse. I think it is sad, though, that you seem to hear people making comments very early on along the lines of "what so-and-so went through ruined their life". If you start with that assessment then it is likely to become self-fulfilling, perhaps.
People who have suffered terribly CAN recover with the best help (although I know they don't always). An awful shame this girl didn't get the chance to find out if the right treatment would have paid off in the end.

My best friend drank himself to death, because he didn't want to live with the physical injuries that he had sustained, after an accident.

He wasn't an alcoholic.

He still had independence and some mobility, he was nowhere near the criteria that some people would deem as a 'pity' case.

He had a family, grandchild and good friends.

He simply didn't want to carry on.

I totally agree that if we think people have the right to end their life because they don't want to live with physical issues, then the same applies to Mental Health.

What I am reading from this is that until you've experienced what that poor girl experienced none of us can know what utter torment she was in. For those people that have experienced the utter horror of sexual abuse, my heart goes out to them. I struggle with euthanasia on the whole but recently my uncle took his own life by drowning himself - I can't bear the thought of his last few minutes. I think (and I hope this comes across in the way I mean it) he would have preferred an injection - not wanting to over simplify and play euthanasia down.

The poor woman.

My aunt was one of the ones in 2014. I'm too close to it to be able to sort out my thoughts for now, and I find talking to anyone who isn't family about it, it's just a bit difficult because they just did not know her and when they say stuff like 'she should have just hung on till she felt better'' (paraphrased!), I just don't get anything from the conversation.

My aunt was beautiful, vibrant, friendly and funny, so intelligent, talented at art and did music at uni, was someone who loved animals (parrots and cats in particular). Really awesome person. She did have depression and it's been suggested a personality disorder which meant that she spent 20+ years intermittently going through very low periods. I wish it hadn't happened but until I've felt what she has I can't join in the debate on ethics.

It's very sad that this poor woman suffered to the point that despite all her attempts at treatment, she could see no other way forward. I also think she's very brave to have been the one to pave the way for mental health reasons to be taken into consideration as reasons for euthanasia.

I think this thread has raised some very good points in terms of needing to think about the bigger picture when it comes to mental health. Mental health is usually thought of in terms of 'this person can and will get better - it's all a question of how' - who's to say that actually, some people's mental health conditions shouldn't be regarded as terminal too in some sense of the word?

I've seen the will to live disappear from someone's eyes and evidently that doesn't always come back. Could suicide/euthanasia not be regarded as end of life for someone who is terminally mentally ill?

to Birds, Clarissa, MakeSomething, Booming and anyone else who's experienced this kind of loss

Thanks Velour and to you too 💐