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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think life is bloody hard going

40 replies

midlifehope · 10/05/2016 18:43

..... even though some people swan through it (or have the appearance that they do). I'm inspired by the what are you worrying about thread and the day I've had, where,

newly sitting baby fell backwards and bumped his head (feel guilty I hadn;t propped him up properly).
Fell out with DH
Breaks almost failed on the car
Spent too much money (on maternity so I am skint) in the supermarket, got all dazed by all the choice, and bought the wrong things, as well as what I wanted.
Was late to a meeting, and when I got there, baby cried all the way through.
DS 2 (4) bit ds 1 in the car on the way home from school.

I could go on.......

How hard do you find daily life on a scale of 1-10 (1 being easy-pease, 10 being impossible)?

OP posts:
Helpmeltb · 10/05/2016 18:58

I'm going to go for 8.

Living with stbeh, having to listen to his phone beeping cos his gf texts every 5 fucking minutes.
Can't find anywhere to rent as too much demand here so single mum with 2dc isn't very desirable.
Can't find time at work to speak to solicitor who appears to work very short days.
Friends have all ditched me today.
Have sore throat and cold.
Stressful job which I enjoy and is practical for childcare reasons but is probably really underpaid.

puddingisgood · 10/05/2016 19:12

I agree. Most days are round about 8 for me. Can't imagine it ever being any different either. Divorced, job I hate, money worries, anxiety and depression, lonely. I know it's lots worse for many, but I do wonder what the point is sometimes.

youknowwhattodo · 10/05/2016 19:17

Yanbu - it's hard Sad

Choccybadger · 10/05/2016 19:30

Life is hard sometimes.
I'm really fortunate in some ways, great kids, lovely husband who earns well, nice home but.....
I would give quite a lot to be healthy and well and earning my own money again. I have a disabling chronic pain condition which has meant giving up a very well paid career.

life feels mostly like a 7 for me, 9 on bad pain days.
Try to keep remembering the good bits and think that whatever crap life throws at you today, tomorrow, next month, it will pass.
I find a good cry, then a bath with a good book can help X

TheDailyMailareabunchofcunts · 10/05/2016 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NedStarksHead · 10/05/2016 19:40

This thread is so upsetting!

I'm finding it about a 4 at the moment.

1 in the day to day stuff, 3 in dealing with my thoughts all day.

Recently back to working full time, DP is a SAHD after losing his job & I'm finding the adjustment hard to cope with mentally. Miss my DD, miss longer lies, miss early finishes...

In reality we're doing okay though, just muddling.

Squiff85 · 10/05/2016 19:40

Day to day, about a 3.

I can't really complain - I have the odd moan about juggling kids and house and work and a husband etc. but actually I am pretty damn lucky.

MiyakoOdori · 10/05/2016 19:43

I'd say a 6

Hate having to constantly plan and budget money but we are ok just have to be careful

In horrendous pain most days due to OA and fibro

Kids are great and so lovely

Hubby ditto

I wish things were a breeze and they are better than they have been in a long time but I wish I wasn't so poorly

AdoraKiora · 10/05/2016 19:50

Some days (week, months) are very, very hard going.

My eldest DC is autistic and can be extremely challenging. I won't bore on with details - he is currently going through a fairly settled phase and life feels a bit brighter - but it can all feel relentlessly difficult and dark at times.

Money is also a constant worry. And I've had very poor health for several years, but that seems to be on the up now .

I try to be grateful for what is going well - lovely DH, thriving DD, work going well - and also to find joy in the little things: the sunshine over the weekend really brightened my mood; I love listening to music really loud in the car on the way to work; I'm reading a great book right now; DD has just learned to ride a bike; DS told me he loved me and gave me a huge cuddle when I walked in the door from work today Grin

purpleaura · 10/05/2016 19:52

This is a sad thread, but it's also realistic about life, and I appreciate that. I think most days for me average a 6. I'm a SAHM to a 2.5yo, so my day depends a lot on his mood! In general, it's a struggle to keep him entertained while covering housework, shopping, cooking and feeling like I'm providing him with social opportunities and hitting all the various areas of development for him. Also, having had cancer last year, my life is still recovering and restabilising. My relationship with dp is extremely challenging and once toddler is in bed and it's just me and DP, we rarely manage an evening without a horrible argument. We have to get the tv on and not talk just to survive. We are having counselling together but this is so so hard. A big part of me is desperate to leave but I'm not ready yet. I feel I have to give it a better shot, though it's been a year already. I can't bear the thought of hurting little one and dp (who is a perfectly nice fella) so badly. There's so little joy my personal life. No sex, no laughs, no cuddles, few pleasant conversations. Each day feels like "phew, thank goodness that's over" and then it's on to the next. I hate thinking that way while ds is so small, and since i learned how precious my own life is. Actually maybe I'll upgrade to a 7! I didn't mean to write this much but it feels very cathartic. Thanks OP!

VulcanWoman · 10/05/2016 20:18

When I'm having a bad day, I think of this poor soul in India, cleaning the sewers out in his underpants. Now that's having a bad day.

Original poster
midlifehope · 10/05/2016 20:22

ops, I didn't plan to make this a sad thread, more cathartic!

OP posts:
Original poster
midlifehope · 10/05/2016 20:23

far enough vulcan, but I hope that wasn't meant to undermine the very real struggles people are going through on here.

OP posts:
Falling270 · 10/05/2016 20:28

YANBU.

I'd say today is an 8.

Working away from my fiancé and have been for four weeks. Broke down and cried in front of two of my bosses today (which I am mortified about) when they tried to get me to spend more time working away from home. Now coupled with them trying to change my very delicately organised schedule I have to deal with the guilt and embarrassment of sobbing at them. Sad

Keep trying to arrange to see friends and family and can't fit anything suitable in. Am worried about money and stressed to the max with work. I've been putting weight on and struggling to get it off. I suffer with anxiety.

I know in the grand scheme of things things could be worse but it is a daily grind.

emsyj · 10/05/2016 20:31

Day to day about a 6. I am tired and behind with everything and I feel guilty because I work FT. But I have hope that things will get better when I complete my training at work and go part time and can pick the DDs up from school 3 days a week and be at home all holidays.
The main thing I have let drop due to having too much on my plate is my home. I dont keep it clean and tidy(all of us have clean clothes, clean bodies and clean teeth, and there is food in the fridge but most of the rest slides most of the time). I would love to have a clean tidy cosy home and be able to invite people over without having to book a day off work to frantically clean before they come.

Yellowsun11 · 10/05/2016 20:34

I guess mine is a 5
I have low level depression anxiety - few issues at home nothing to bad tho - feel pretty bad moaning as I do !
Money's a bit of a worry At times but compared to others ...

Chipsahoy · 10/05/2016 20:42

How sad :-(

I range from a 10 to a 2. My life is good, I am very fortunate. I have lovely children, nice part time job and wonderful husband. On a sunny, good mh day, I am at a 2, thanking my lucky stars for my life.

But I also live with complex ptsd and life can be tough. Flashbacks, nightmares,dissociation, anxiety. I have very little family that don't hate me and no friends at all..everyone dumped me when I was honest about my abusive childhood and teen yrs. So life can be tough and lonely and unbearable at times, but it can be good too. Therapy has helped me with my outlook on life and finding peace within myself no matter what is going on.

I'm sorry for your struggles. Anxiety, weight issues, works issues, house stress, relationship struggles, difficult parenting stages..it all takes its toll

Choccybadger · 10/05/2016 21:10

You know what this thread is brilliant for? Showing how many strong women there are out there who are doing the best they can with what they've got.
It's also a nice supportive one where we are all prepared to talk about the imperfections in our lives in the spirit of empathy.
I'm not one for comparative suffering as each person's suffering or trials are unique to them and their pain their own. It's just nice to feel a little, tiny bit unburdened and to feel that maybe someone who needs it will take a little bit of strength from some kind words.
I must admit, I read the guest post of Dr Kate Granger this evening with a huge lump in my throat and a serious sense of life being awful for so many people in so many ways. It made me thankful for the things I have and a bit less negative about the everyday.

Godotsarrived · 10/05/2016 21:13

I am lucky. Good health, good home and while we are not exactly rolling in dosh we cover all the bills, manage holidays and have a reasonable standard of living. But... and this is not for everyone, since my 40's I have developed a what will be will be attitude to everything... Including the fact I am on an interest only mortgage and will have to sell to pay it off... But something will turn up at some point. I spent decades driving myself mad with worry and stress. Don't do it anymore.

purpleaura · 10/05/2016 23:32

That's a really lovely perspective choccy Smile

Whathaveilost · 10/05/2016 23:40

currently I am about 3. Everything is good BUT from January to about mid April things were nearer a 9 due to serious work issues that have been resolved in my favour.

smokeybandit · 10/05/2016 23:42

Probably about a 6 most days to be honest. Juggling work ft and 2 dc's, feeling like I'm either falling behind at work or with dc's (keeping up with homework/medical appointments/plain old playing with them!), housework or bills. Feels like some days only one can be done well and most days none of them are! Feels like a constant struggle sometimes and I know there are people worse off but that doesn't really help console you when you're in the middle of a shitty day.

Notcontent · 10/05/2016 23:43

Yes, I think life is hard. I am very up and down, and it all depends on how tired I am, and whether a new challenge has been thrown my way.

My major issue is that I am a lone parent so most of the time don't have anyone to share the burden of what life throws my way...

Xmasbaby11 · 10/05/2016 23:56

I've been thinking this lately. We have 2 pre school Dcs who are lovely but exhausting. Both Dh and I have stressful jobs, not particularly well paid and we have massive childcare and mortgage outgoings. 4 year old suffers from anxiety and is struggling at nursery - worried how she'll cope at school in sept. All our parents are in their seventies and getting less able. Dh is depressed.

I feel so worried about these big things that it's hard to have the energy to care about the little things, like getting 2yo dd to sleep through the night, or doing exercise. So I'd say 6-8 most days. I wouldn't say our lives are easy. But there are many things I love in life so there are things to keep me going.

Janefromdowntheroad · 11/05/2016 00:00

I just feel overwhelmingly bored everyday. Bored of everything and nothing. It's like Groundhog Day but with more washing and moaning kids.

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