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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teacher called him an idiot

39 replies

thisusernameisnotavailable · 09/05/2016 20:52

Well just that basically. My sons teacher appears to have taken a dislike to him.

He's now come home saying she called him an idiot because his writing is pretty bad. We've been trying to get the school to help us improve his writing which isn't really happening.

But to call him an idiot especially when he's not as he is in the top group for maths to me is wrong which was the lesson being taught at the time. I feel I need to complain but not sure the school will either take me seriously or to what level I should complain, to the teacher herself, the year leader, assistant or headteacher. Or even officially to the governors.

AIBU to think being called an idiot was wrong?

OP posts:

abbieanders · 09/05/2016 20:56

Absolutely wrong to call him an idiot.

Find out why the teacher said it - not the "teacher has a pick on me! nonsense - so that you know what you'll hear when you tackle the situation.

SpeakNoWords · 09/05/2016 20:56

No, yanbu. A teacher calling a student an idiot is clearly wrong. I would contact the school tomorrow and ask for an explanation, quoting exactly what the teacher said to your son and in what context.

BossWitch · 09/05/2016 20:58

Did the teacher say 'you are an idiot' or did they say something more like 'stop acting like an idiot' ?

Smartiepants79 · 09/05/2016 21:02

It entirely depends on the context, how it was said and the relationship between them.
I call my classes all sorts of silly names when they're being wallys but it is said in an affectionate/teasing way and they know me well enough to know that I'm teasing and our relationship is based on mutual respect so they generally just grin at me and go and correct the silly mistakes they've made.
If your son is upset by this then go and speak, calmly, to school.
If the word had been used as an insult rather than a tease then it's not good.
I have to say I don't think I'd use the word idiot in any context ( I tend to go for wally/ muppet/ foolish child)

lateforeverything · 09/05/2016 21:02

As a teacher and a mum this sounds like a huge no-no.

Out of interest how old is ds?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/05/2016 21:05

Whether the teacher likes him or not, is or should be neither here nor there. Teachers are human, and some kids they'll like, others they won't, but your son shouldn't know that he's disliked by her. Letting her personal feelings get in the way is very unprofessional.
I'm actually fuming and steaming on yours and your ds's behalf. You recognise there is a problem with his writing. You do the right and only thing. I guess, by going into the school to seek help, and. It's basically brushed under the carpet. Next second his teacher is calling him an idiot because of a problem she won't sort out. Am I missing something. She's way out of line. Where is their emotional well-being calling a child an idiot. That's abuse.
If it were my child. I want to knock the cunt right out, but. That's not an option, so. I'd go in first thing and ask for a meeting with the HT for ASAP.

Original poster

thisusernameisnotavailable · 09/05/2016 21:06

Can I clarify this was to a year 5 child so 10 years old. Not high school

OP posts:

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/05/2016 21:07

If the school don't take you seriously. Then the next step is the board of governors.
I think Ofsted might be interested to hear about it as well.

SpeakNoWords · 09/05/2016 21:08

You need to get the exact sequence of events from your DS and then put it to the appropriate person, I guess maybe the head teacher as it's a primary school.

TheNotoriousPMT · 09/05/2016 21:08

What exactly was said?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/05/2016 21:10

It wouldn't matter if he was in high school. It would make it any less bang out of order.
My DD is 17 and there's no way I'd let anyone call her an idiot.

acasualobserver · 09/05/2016 21:14

I think Ofsted might be interested to hear about it as well.

No, they really wouldn't. This completely misunderstands the function of Ofsted.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/05/2016 21:17

Oh so if they were doing their inspection and they heard this teacher or any teacher for that matter calling a child an idiot. They'd be find with that. I damn well hope not

noblegiraffe · 09/05/2016 21:19

Just be aware that sometimes 'teacher doesn't like me, picks on me, says X about me' can sometimes actually be that a teacher is 'picking on' a child because they are constantly misbehaving, and 'called me an idiot' may be 'stop acting like an idiot'.

I'm pretty sure that a kid (Y7 so not much older) that I got exceptionally frustrated with today would complain that I don't like him, pick on him, tell him off for not understanding stuff, when in fact he is a complete pain in the arse who pisses around all lesson then whinges that he doesn't get the work when he hasn't even attempted to understand it.

So absolutely query it, but be prepared for the possibility that there are two sides to the story.

woodlands01 · 09/05/2016 21:21

I am a year 7 tutor with a very difficult form group. I also teach 2 year 7 groups , 3 times each a week. 'You are an idiot' when I forget to say 'stop behaving like an idiot' is my favorite phrase at the monent.
Most parents , when their child's behaviour, is explained agree.
As does the parent with the child with a broken leg ...................

acasualobserver · 09/05/2016 21:31

Oh so if they were doing their inspection and they heard this teacher or any teacher for that matter calling a child an idiot. They'd be find with that. I damn well hope not

Is that what happened here? No, it isn't. Your scenario is irrelevant.

The advice trotted out on MN, on a daily basis it seems, to contact Ofsted about every individual concern that arises with your child's school is utterly, utterly fatuous. Ofsted is not a telephone hotline for complaints about schools and teachers.

SoupDragon · 09/05/2016 21:36

I would suggest that you find out what actually was said and what happened before wading in.

lurked101 · 09/05/2016 21:36

It depends what context it was said in, if it is "You are an idiot." it is out of line, if it is you are "acting" like an idiot it is probably ok. Fine lines.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 09/05/2016 21:59

Tell me I'm basically chatting shit, and have no valid points. If it makes you feel better. However it still doesn't answer my question. I wonder what they would do.
Im hiding this thread now, as I have no intentions of getting into an argument with you. I actually have a life.
Good luck op.

amarmai · 09/05/2016 22:34

Be cool and use this as a springboard to get a plan in writing from the ct re what she is going to do address your ds's difficulty with writing. is it formation of letters, cursive i mean, ,grammar, spelling , construction etc. Get specific goals and timelines and follow up if ct is not successful. This is her paid responsibility.

BastardGoDarkly · 09/05/2016 22:36

Oh lighthouse ffs

greathat · 09/05/2016 22:42

I one had a parent phone in and complain to the school that I had said her child was an accident. What had actually happened was that she had been swinging on her seat and I'd asked her to stop as she was an accident waiting to happen. Get the full story before you decide your kids teacher hates them. We don't have the time or energy for that

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/05/2016 22:47

Context is everything.

Talk to the teacher

Original poster

thisusernameisnotavailable · 09/05/2016 22:52

He was called an idiot because she cannot read his writing. She is not marking his work as it can't be read she says. even he struggles to read it back that is how bad it is. But other teachers have attempted to mark his work.

We agreed we would drop the cursive approach and adopt printing. She then back tracked and is making him write in cursive again. So today she called him an idiot for his writing being so bad she couldn't read it. Why move him back to cursive if we can just about read printed.

I can read his printed work but not his cursive work. She's not even marked the work done in print.

OP posts:

CocktailQueen · 09/05/2016 22:57

Ask for a meeting with teacher and an action plan. How does she propose to change this? How can she help your Ds to write better?

Also ask your Ds how he can improve things, as he's old enough (assuming no SN). Why is his work so untidy? You can't expect a teacher to mark illegible work.

If he's 10 he should be able to write in a legible fashion, whether printed or joined. Can he do it if he tries?

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