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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Teacher called him an idiot

39 replies

thisusernameisnotavailable · 09/05/2016 20:52

Well just that basically. My sons teacher appears to have taken a dislike to him.

He's now come home saying she called him an idiot because his writing is pretty bad. We've been trying to get the school to help us improve his writing which isn't really happening.

But to call him an idiot especially when he's not as he is in the top group for maths to me is wrong which was the lesson being taught at the time. I feel I need to complain but not sure the school will either take me seriously or to what level I should complain, to the teacher herself, the year leader, assistant or headteacher. Or even officially to the governors.

AIBU to think being called an idiot was wrong?

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 09/05/2016 23:02

If he's 10 and his writing can't be read then you need to be making an appointment ASAP with the SENCO for a proper assessment. If there is an underlying reason behind his poor penmanship then he could start using a laptop in lessons. This process needs to be started as soon as possible so he could benefit from any arrangements in his SATs next year.

scoobyloobyloo · 09/05/2016 23:09

Ofsted would most definitely not be interested.

I'm a teacher and will call pupils idiots, in jest, within context and with heaps of positive praise elsewhere. It is important for young people to know when their behaviour is affecting their work ad others work, sometimes they are idiots. They are also allowed to call me an idiot, if there is good reason!

I'd hold fire until you know the full context.

SpeakNoWords · 09/05/2016 23:13

Do you know what the teacher actually said to him, and the context? Did she yell "idiot!" at him across the room, or did she say "don't be an idiot"? What prompted her to say whatever she said. You'll need to be clear in what the sequence of events is before you raise it with the school.

It sounds like there are wider issues with the school though if agreed plans are not being followed through. Have you had contact with the SENCO?

NotQuiteJustYet · 10/05/2016 00:59

Idiot - A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

Why the hell would a teacher direct THAT word a child who's clearly struggling with an issue she's not helping with? I've just got really mad for you and your DS, OP.

We've all used 'idiot' in jest, but she's clearly not saying it in jest if the tone and context have left your DS upset. Hope you can get it sorted soon.

SoupDragon · 10/05/2016 06:41

but she's clearly not saying it in jest if the tone and context have left your DS upset

Not necessarily. I had to go into school to clear up something DS2 was upset about once. He was a bright, articulate Y5 child but simply hadn't grasped the fact that his teacher wasn't serious. I just went in to ask her to clarify it and she was mortified he hadn't understood.

KoalaDownUnder · 10/05/2016 07:30

Can't you start with just talking to the teacher? You know, having a polite conversation to clarify?

lantien · 10/05/2016 07:39

Can't you start with just talking to the teacher? You know, having a polite conversation to clarify?

^^ This is teh approach I would take - as well as explaining my child was upset.

I know you haven't asked for suggestions but -

www.amazon.co.uk/Speed-Up-Kinaesthetic-Programme-Handwriting/dp/1855033860 - this has been of some help to us - though to be honest best thing to happen to DS is a teacher who is constantly on to him about sitting properly and writing well. That's had more impact than years of us at home trying to help - think it the consistency.

ShanghaiDiva · 10/05/2016 07:48

Clearly the handwriting issue needs to be addressed and I would arrange a meeting with the teacher to see how he can be supported at school and what you can do at home to help. Would also mention that her comment upset him, but agree with others that context is everything and 'acting like an idiot' is not the same as 'you are an idiot!.

Original poster

thisusernameisnotavailable · 10/05/2016 23:50

Update

I spoke to the deputy head about this latest incident. The short version is he is being moved class as of tomorrow morning so I'm happy with this solution.

He's also going to have a referral by the senco to the education physiologist to help him with his schooling.

Good result, I'm happy and thanks to all who agreed that the teacher was wrong and made me speak to the school.

OP posts:

ShanghaiDiva · 10/05/2016 23:56

Great result for you and your son :)

xmum · 16/07/2016 10:12

Context! Your child may be lying. I don't quite understand why you think that the teacher should "attempt" to mark the work. How would that help?

hotdiggedy · 16/07/2016 10:58

We don't know the full story and the exact reasons why the Ops son was moved class. Maybe the teacher asked for it herself (some parents are continually making complaints and issues out of just about everything they can think of).

And no, before anyone starts, maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe she was just a really awful teacher.

I just think it is a real shame that there is so much negativity towards teachers and schools in general. How often do you find threads on here that only have nice words for schools? Very rarely!

KittyVonCatsington · 16/07/2016 12:46

Glad you have a solution you are happy with but going straight to the Deputy Head rather than ask for the teacher's version of events makes me despair if this particular incident was taken out of context rather than for the other reasons you mentioned in your OP. That poor teacher if so.

grannytomine · 16/07/2016 12:51

When one of my kids was 4 in reception his teacher told me she couldn't stand him. She had taught his brother and he had done really well with her. I went to see her as I thought something was wrong and she made her statement and we went to the head and arranged for him to move to another class. I did make allowances as her husband was terminally ill but I was a bit taken aback. It worked out well as he loved the other teacher and it seemed to be mutual.

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