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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do I get myself out of this one?

34 replies

Ivanabefree · 07/05/2016 16:23

DD was invited to a party at the home of a 7 yr old girl, who is pleasant enough, but who family is made up of different fathers and at least one of these fathers has been in jail for GBH recently. Not sure exactly who would be there and it's a 3 hour party, and the party girl has told me herself that she isn't supposed to be "alone" with her father. I lied by txt and said my DD had sickness and diarhoea, and took her horse riding to make up for her missing the party after explaining my reasons to her. Whilst at horse riding and during the party, the mum and 2 friends knock at our door saying DD was being missed and my idiotic husband said she'd gone horse riding. I am now completely in the shit. Do I come clean, expand the lie and say DH did know what he was saying or just emigrate? I was hoping not to hurt anyone's feelings but have done a proper job of it. School gate is going to be soooo awkward on Mon.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheep · 07/05/2016 16:31

gosh what a dilemma

TheFuckersBitingMe · 07/05/2016 16:33

Serves you right for lying, just text "Oh I'm ever so sorry, we're busy that day" and send a card and little gift to the birthday child. And stop telling lies. Your pants will catch fire one day.

glassgarden · 07/05/2016 16:34

during the party, the mum and 2 friends
that seems a bit odd, as if your daughter isnt permitted to decline the invitation, they come to your house and try to round her up whether she wants to go or not Hmm

Kittyrobin · 07/05/2016 16:35

Is horse riding more solitary? Could you say you thought she was coming down with sickness so didn't want to expose the other children at the party so just took your daughter to the stables for a bit to see the horses. Go with a false alarm type thing.
Depends how much detail you went into on the text

One2another · 07/05/2016 16:37

I'd say that you had the horse riding lesson booked a few weeks before and would have lost the money so instead of taking your dd to the party amongst other children who might have caught the bug as she had been sick in previous 24 hrs you took her to a solo pastime to perk her up after being unwell.

Your welcome Wink

glassgarden · 07/05/2016 16:37

Serves you right for lying, just text "Oh I'm ever so sorry, we're busy that day

but that is also a lie, it is merely a less specific lie...one which is less likely to trip the OP up.

surely what you mean is if you're going to make up an excuse then think it through

One2another · 07/05/2016 16:38

You're

TheFuckersBitingMe · 07/05/2016 16:39

But they were busy, Glass as they went horse riding.

QuiteLikely5 · 07/05/2016 16:40

I've never ever heard of a mother leaving her own child's party to go and seek out another child who did not attend

So odd..........

thebestfurchinchilla · 07/05/2016 16:41

How odd that they would come looking for your DD during the party. From my experience, they are so hectic the thought would be far from my mind and I would actually be glad to have one less. Maybe everyone else cried off too and the birthday girl was having a miserable birthday? Are they very local? I would perhaps say that you took your DD out to keep her away from DH with the squits(medical term) and didn't want to pass on the virus to the party in one fell swoop! In future just say you are busy!

HeffalumpHistory · 07/05/2016 16:41

Why would a parent turn up to insist someone with d&v mixed with a whole host of other children? Odd parent.

Dd usually does horse riding at that time so dh assumed you were there? Actually at chemist?
Next time, just say you're busy or tell the truth if you're brave enough

thebestfurchinchilla · 07/05/2016 16:44

Oh just read you said DD was ill. As pp, just say she improved but still contagious and parties spread things. Say she didn't ride but went to pat the ponies and book a lesson for when DD is better completely.

SquinkiesRule · 07/05/2016 16:46

I took my Dd to a party where she was the only one who turned up. It was so sad, the little girl was so sweet her family were a bit questionable, but the kid didn't deserve no one to turn up. Luckily she had cousins so about 4 or 5 kids all together.
Maybe no one turned up and they were running by to ask that your Dd come poor birthday kid.

glassgarden · 07/05/2016 16:48

But they were busy, Glass as they went horse riding

in responding with 'Oh I'm ever so sorry, we're busy that day' the OP would be claiming than a prior engagement prevented attendance at the party

that would also be a lie.

there was no prior engagement.

thebestfurchinchilla · 07/05/2016 16:48

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NannawifeofBaldr · 07/05/2016 16:52

You've no choice but to compound the lie - "she was a bit better but had cabin fever so I took her out. Couldn't bring her to the party in case she was infectious. Did it go well?" Big breezy smile.

It is very odd they came to look for you though.

Just politely say "so sorry we can't make it" next time.

Originalfoogirl · 07/05/2016 16:53

Who the hell leaves their own child's party to go and knock on the door of a child who didn't come?

thebestfurchinchilla · 07/05/2016 16:53

Nanna you've done this before Wink

Originalfoogirl · 07/05/2016 16:55

And which parent tells their child they aren't supposed to be alone with their father?

Original poster
Ivanabefree · 07/05/2016 16:55

I really hope that the little girl had a good party and I have a really nice pressie all ready for her, but you're right everyone I should have thought it through or primed my DH better. I might try the "went to see the horses as she couldn't make them Ill" line and if that doesn't work I'll just have to be honest. Thanks everyone! DH is going to be in the dog house all weekend though - I could literally kick him REALLY HARD!

OP posts:
DinosaursRoar · 07/05/2016 16:57

Agree with NannaWifeofBaldr - offer the story first, "how was X's party? So sorry we couldn't make it, terrible timing for DD to be ill! she was ok in the afternoon and I took her with me to see the horses so we weren't in when you called, but didn't want to risk her being round other children, no one likes that parent that brings the sicky child to a party and infects everyone else! Perhaps X could come over for a playdate next weekend to make up for it?"

glassgarden · 07/05/2016 16:58

I'm not saying that she oughtn't to lie TheFuckers

but your insisting that she is wrong for lying whilst simultaneously exhorting her to lie, is...well...kind of funny

don't you think

AtSea1979 · 07/05/2016 17:01

original wouldn't you tell your child? Surely you'd need to so they know?

ShmooBooMoo · 07/05/2016 17:02

Did your DH know you'd told them your DD was sick?

ShmooBooMoo · 07/05/2016 17:08

If there are horses nearby, say in a local field, you could perhaps say she was not well enough to attend the party and wouldn't have been able to join in with games or have eaten due to the sickness/ diarrhoea. Explain the diarrhoea seemed to pass and you thought she could do with some fresh air so you took her to feed the horses (also to make up for having to miss the party).
It's weird they knocked on your door, though...