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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex slept in my bed

39 replies

FluffyBunny123 · 16/04/2016 21:09

I've been away for two nights meeting up with uni friends & so ex stayed here to look after the kids as he has no space to have them at his.
I set up the sofa bed for him in the spare room but when I got home he said 'your new beds very comfortable' and I actually think the red mist descended, I'm not normally a cross , uptight type person but I feel so much rage!!! We normally get on well, aibu do you think? I feel like I need some validation for my anger!
I got rid of the 'marital' bed & bought a new one, maybe it's stupid but it's mine it's girly, it's got cushions, I love it. I hated sharing a bed with him he has poor hygiene Sad
Also I've had to take in lodgers since he left to afford the mortgage so there's nowhere in the house that is just mine, my private space, except my bloody bed in my tiny lovely cosy room!!! Arrrr

OP posts:
LisaRinnasLips · 16/04/2016 21:13

Did he change the sheets and leave it as he found it?

Arfarfanarf · 16/04/2016 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gide · 16/04/2016 21:18

YANBU. Flame roast him. Bin the bedding.

Original poster
FluffyBunny123 · 16/04/2016 21:21

Yes I went fucking apocalyptic then started crying Jesus I'm mental

Part of it is that I missed the kids too. I've not left them before so emotional

Thank you, you don't know the relief to here yanbu!!!

OP posts:
CaffeineBomb · 16/04/2016 21:21

Exactly what Arf said. There is something behind him deciding to sleep in your bed even though he knew the spare room was set up ready.

I hope you made your feelings clear....

acasualobserver · 16/04/2016 21:24

I agree with a pp - his admission was calculated to piss you off. Bollock him and don't hold back. Also, boil wash your bedding.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 16/04/2016 21:24

Probably just being typically selfish and thinking I bet her bed is more comfy than a sofa bed and I deserve a comfy bed. And not really thinking that he is invading your space.

However, just change the sheets and forget.

Original poster
FluffyBunny123 · 16/04/2016 21:25

No he didn't change the bed, I've just done it. I'm going to boil the sheets! Fucking twat.
Yes that has crossed my mind Arf but he's so thoughtless I doubt he'd think to be calculating iykwim but maybe. It's memory foam which I know he thinks is extravagant so I expect he wanted to try it
I'm annoyed with myself now though because he just shrugged and looked at me like a mad woman when he left so I feel like he has one over on me knowing I'm upset if that makes sense
Oh blimey

OP posts:
FelicityR313 · 16/04/2016 21:25

Talk about pissing on his patch. I'd have gone mental.

acasualobserver · 16/04/2016 21:26

Sorry, I see you have bollocked him ... I need to type faster.

LineyReborn · 16/04/2016 21:27

Next time, padlock your bedroom.

CalleighDoodle · 16/04/2016 21:31

You now know without uncertainty that he cannot be trusted in your house. He needs to make room for his children at his home in future.

Rainbunny · 16/04/2016 21:33

If it's likely he will stay overnight at your place again might it be worth installing a lock and key for your bedroom?

ohforfoxsake · 16/04/2016 21:35

I'm so glad it's not just me! I went fucking mad when XH slept in my bed. He doesn't get 'what my problem is'. Angry

Arfarfanarf · 16/04/2016 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AfroPuffs · 16/04/2016 21:39

Its just disrespectful actually and he was clearly rubbing your nose in it, trying to get to you. Get a lock for the door! Cheeky sod.

Janecc · 16/04/2016 21:45

Stinky pig. That's why he's an ex!

EverySongbirdSays · 16/04/2016 21:45

ABSOLUTE WANKER. YANBU.

Original poster
FluffyBunny123 · 16/04/2016 21:50

I told him it was memory foam, just in a general chat about it, we normally get on & chat about things. This was a few months ago and he said oooo memory foam get you 🙄
Anyway it's done & he's not staying again

OP posts:
upthegardenpath · 16/04/2016 21:51

Shock he didn't even have the fucking decency to change the sheets?!!!

Bit like a feral male cat entering your house and pissing in your dainty female cat 's litter tray.

Definitely NBU OP - I would have gone ballistic too.

It was provocative and shite.

TheSuspiciousMsWhicher · 16/04/2016 21:53

YANBU. I would be fucking livid.

I agree with the poster upthread who said he was trying to mark his territory.

Still, on the plus side you now know categorically that he is never EVER to be trusted in your home unsupervised again. Twat.

AgentZigzag · 16/04/2016 22:06

YANBU, very intrusive, and that's aside from him being a dirty bastard.

I bet he farted all night and left poo crumbs on your lovely sheet too (sorry)

Original poster
FluffyBunny123 · 16/04/2016 22:07

Ewwwwwwwwwwww Zigzag Grin

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 16/04/2016 22:15

Obviously I don't know him so I was only guessing and might have been unfairly stereotyping him.

He may not have?

Hahahahaha yeah, right.

ohforfoxsake · 16/04/2016 22:46

OP it was the final straw for me and I had to set very firm boundaries. He still stays here because he refuses to have the kids at his, but he sleeps in one of the kids room and they double up. Otherwise I'd get no nights off at all.

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