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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My dP and the cat

35 replies

Inneedofadvice553 · 16/04/2016 09:04

My dp talks to the cat contestant like a baby. It is my cat i got 7 years before I met dp. Dp gives the cat more affection that she does me. I want to scream and shoot when she does it, ot happens all day and night . She doesn't talk to my six year old ds like that. I literally wake up with her doing this and she talks through films calling the cat a " squidgy meow" and " a little baby" and lots of silly names in high pitched voice.

We have had rows because I get pushed out of my pwn bed because the cat sleeps under the covers she chooses to turn away from me to cuddle the cat.

Aibu for wanting to say something? I think she might think I'm bring controlling and it really isn't a big deal but it is driving me up the wall!

Aibu?

OP posts:
NoCakeLeft · 16/04/2016 09:21

LTB

I wouldn't be able to live with the person who gives more attention to my pet than to me. And it seems you can't either if it's "driving you up the wall".

Original poster
Inneedofadvice553 · 16/04/2016 09:21

Anyone?

OP posts:
Delacroix · 16/04/2016 09:21

You have form for complaining about your Dp. If you don't like the relationship, just go. This isn't about cats, it's about you frequently being unhappy for a variety of different reasons and now every little thing they do annoys you.

Original poster
Inneedofadvice553 · 16/04/2016 09:30

Is it normal though this behaviour?

My partner and I are very much in love and get on well , I just come on here to vent ( better than real life) . This is my third post r.e dp and some of the advice I've been given has been invaluable in tackling issues with her. Thank you for your observation

OP posts:
AliceInUnderpants · 16/04/2016 09:32

I talk to my cat like a baby too. I'm a crazy cat lady through and through Grin

I am trying to figure out what a cat contestant is, though. Is it like a trial over a period of time with three different cats then after the trials you get to pick which one 'wins'?

(I know it was a typo Wink)

Namechangingchameleon · 16/04/2016 09:37

My DH is totally besotted by my one (very small) chihuahua. I got her 6 years ago and met DH 3.5 years ago. He talks to her all the time when he's here a lot of it is making jokey remarks taking the piss about "mummy" I think it's nice tbh!

We don't let them in the bed or upstairs though (baby gate) but I understand that isn't an option with a cat.

ilovesooty · 16/04/2016 09:37

If your DP is the one you've been posting about for several months I can't imagine why you moved in together in the first place.

AliceInUnderpants · 16/04/2016 09:38

Not that it's important for the context of this thread, but is your DP male or female? I also looked up previous posts (and agree you seem to have a lot of 'issues' with your partner) and you use both "he" and "she" in different threads. Or is it two different/concurrent partners?

NarcyCow · 16/04/2016 09:38

DH and I both talk baby talk to the cats. One sleeps between our feet on the bed and the other sleeps on DH's head. It's perfectly normal in our house.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 16/04/2016 09:46

We all give the cat more attention than each other on this family,we all dote on him Grin

ilovesooty · 16/04/2016 09:47

I don't live with anyone else. The cat wouldn't take kindly to it. He doesn't even like me talking to other people on the phone. Grin

Original poster
Inneedofadvice553 · 16/04/2016 09:51

We haven't moved in together but have planned to this year now. My dp is a woman. Thanks for all the replies , I guess it's me then with the issue

OP posts:
SanityClause · 16/04/2016 09:53

Talk to your partner about it.

Tell her that you find it really annoying that the cat seems to come before everyone else in her affections, and you find it hard.

She may pooh pooh your comments, in which case you know there is nothing you can do about it, and you need to decide whether it is some thing you can live with, or not. If the good bits outweigh the annoyance of the way she treats the cat, you may just decide to live with it.

Or she may apologise and try to make amends (cuddle you more, not be so loud with the cat, that sort of thing). And you may agree to be a little less sensitive about her cat madness. Adults discussing things in a grown up way, and resolving their issues? Surely not!

19lottie82 · 16/04/2016 09:55

Maybe she thinks the cat gives her less grief and more affection than you do? I'm not having a dig but sometimes I feel that way about my cat and my DH! Grin

SanityClause · 16/04/2016 09:55

Oh, x posted.

Well, if you move in together, there are likely to be more annoying habits than just this one. None of us are perfect. If you can't live with this, I wouldn't continue with that plan. There's no reason why you shouldn't continue to have a perfectly good relationship living apart.

MattDillonsPants · 16/04/2016 09:56

YABU. Stop being so jealous. The cat gives her joy. Fur fixes are a necessary component of a happy life for some people. I adore my cat and he adores me. I give him loads of attention. My DH doesn't mind at all.

AliceInUnderpants · 16/04/2016 10:19

Thank you for clearing that up. I still can't imagine why you would spend an entire thread referring to your female partner as "he" though Confused

Your partner is childless, yes? Could she see the cat as a child/baby perhaps?

HermioneJeanGranger · 16/04/2016 10:56

My cat gets more attention than DP Grin

He follows me everywhere, and even knows commands - he'll shake hands, give you a high five and comes when called. He ignores DP when he tries those things, though!

But, seriously, you've posted about your partner lots of times before. Are you sure you really want to be moving in with her if you have this many problems with her behaviour?

Original poster
Inneedofadvice553 · 16/04/2016 11:28

Of course I do because I love her and really want to have a future with her. She's not had the greatest of lives and it does affect her behaviour but I try to let it ho. She is a lovely person in many ways

OP posts:
Original poster
Inneedofadvice553 · 16/04/2016 11:31

I would not leave her over the car situation I just wanted to know if it was normal. I find when we're watching a movie and she talks over the plot to the cat really irritating. The cat is sitting on her lap the entire film it's not like he's just walked in and she's greeting him. She just starts randomly cooing at him. It's weird and annoying

OP posts:
Original poster
Inneedofadvice553 · 16/04/2016 11:32

Mattdilon is that really me being jealous???!!!

OP posts:
HermioneJeanGranger · 16/04/2016 11:35

Talking through a film is rude and annoying, I agree. Why don't you just tell her to shut up, or pause the film until she asks why, and then say "Oh, I thought we were talking to the cat instead".

Original poster
Inneedofadvice553 · 16/04/2016 11:55

Hermonione that is a good idea. ! I have asked her repeatedly not to talk to the cat during films and in bed. Pausing the film might actually be a great idea!

OP posts:
Pixienott0005 · 19/04/2016 14:38

This is hilarious! Actually are you for real?

NeedACleverNN · 19/04/2016 14:52

This is hilarious! Actually are you for real?

I was thinking the same thing tbh. How insecure must someone be to be jealous of a bloody cat