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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I know it's stupid, but this has really pissed me off.

64 replies

Obliviated · 12/04/2016 09:49

DP got a new laptop for Christmas, today I text him and asked him if I could use it as mine is broken, he says of course I can and sends me the password - his ex girlfriends name. I text him back saying 'are you fucking kidding me?' and he called straight away to say it's an old password that he's always been able to remember. Lovely.

OP posts:

PPie10 · 12/04/2016 09:50

yanbu! So he can't remember your name then? How disrespectful to you.

19lottie82 · 12/04/2016 09:51

I'd be pretty pissed off too tbh.

He could have at least muddled together some excuse why you couldn't use it until he changed it!

How long have you been together?

TiffanyAtBreakfast · 12/04/2016 09:53

Oh wow that would piss me off.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 12/04/2016 09:54

Nah that would piss me right off too

HawkEyeTheNoo · 12/04/2016 09:55

YAnBU I would be fucking furious!!!

Annarose2014 · 12/04/2016 09:55

It'd be childish but I'd say "Cool, no worries. You won't mind if I change mine to (ex boyfriend). Fair's fair!"

ElderlyKoreanLady · 12/04/2016 09:56

Christ that's poor. I'm assuming you've been together longer than he's had the laptop and he's physically set this as a password during your relationship?

Why the hell didn't he stall?! Make an excuse?! Anything other than sending his DPHIL confirmation that he uses his ex's name for his password!

ElderlyKoreanLady · 12/04/2016 09:58

My new phone thinks Dear Phil is a thing I meant DP.

RaeSkywalker · 12/04/2016 09:58

I would be very hurt.

Lighteningirll · 12/04/2016 09:59

Easy one you now have access change his password to iamacunt

PurpleRibbons · 12/04/2016 10:00

One of my passwords is my ex boyfriend's name! I feel guilty now. It really has no significance to me, I used it when we were together and it's a name where it's easy to swop numbers for letters eg 4 instead if A to make a stronger password. Also I assume my DH's name would be easy for people to guess but this wouldn't.

DropYourSword · 12/04/2016 10:01

Whoa whoa everyone. Just a second! Ok, I can understand why you're upset, but if he's anything like me he has the same password for virtually everything (or you end up playing bloody password bingo and locking yourself out of things). It might just be that this is his standard password and it's easier to keep it than change. Doesn't necessarily mean anything more than that.

GirlOverboard · 12/04/2016 10:02

Presumably that's just the default password he's used for everything for years, so he still uses it because it's easy to remember. I still use my old address for a lot of my passwords, even though I moved six years ago. It's just force of habit. I can see why you're annoyed, but I wouldn't read too much into it.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 12/04/2016 10:03

For everyone saying why didn't he stall - that would have looked bad. Really bad. Like there was something on the laptop that he was trying to hide.

So he'd then either have to reveal that the password was something OP wouldn't like anyway, or have OP thinking that there was something on that laptop that he didn't want her to see...

PerryHatter · 12/04/2016 10:05

It'll be the same one he's had for years and can't be arsed changing.

Felyne · 12/04/2016 10:05

Well your password is supposed to be something nobody else would guess, so in that case it's a good choice really.
I'd be hurt though.

magicstar1 · 12/04/2016 10:06

Sounds like he doesn't even think about it any more. One of my passwords is the name of a cat belonging to a guy I worked with 20 years ago...it's just a word to me nowadays.

PerryHatter · 12/04/2016 10:06

Just realised its for his new laptop - yes, default password. I have one, I'm sure most people do.

Annarose2014 · 12/04/2016 10:09

I know you can have a default password for 20 years but if it's an exes name surely there comes a point where you think "Hmmm mm. ...maybe I should start using something else from now on...."

It's not the same as an old Street or pet!

sepa · 12/04/2016 10:09

I would be pissed off but I have the same password for everything so if this is his go to password for years then I can maybe see why he has done it?

SmarterThanTheAverageBear16 · 12/04/2016 10:10

You all must be very insecure in your relationships if this would make you furious/pissed off/upset.
It's just a password, fgs. In a good relationship it wouldn't even register.

fascicle · 12/04/2016 10:12

I think you're possibly reading too much into this. It's plausible that he's in the habit of using the name and therefore can remember it. None of my passwords reflect any emotional attachments.

Pinkheart5915 · 12/04/2016 10:12

It wouldn't bother me at all, it's just a password it means nothing.

Bohemond · 12/04/2016 10:14

My telephone banking password is the name of someone I fancied 20 years ago when I set up the account.
My go to password is the name of a cat that dies 5 years ago.
I do not plan to change either.

shovetheholly · 12/04/2016 10:14

Woah, woah, woah. Hold your horses!

I have several guy friends who would do this. It doesn't necessarily mean anything apart from the fact that they are too damn lazy to be arsed to change the one password they can be bothered to remember. They just don't see it as an "emotional" issue. I know because a similar situation happened to me with a friend's laptop, and the pw was his ex-gf's name (she is also a close friend of mine). Even though it was a messy breakup with a lot of loathing on both sides, he'd just dissociated this password from meaning "her".

(NOT saying all men are like this, just that some are).

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