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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really anal about speeding?

63 replies

TheGhostOfBarryFairbrother · 04/04/2016 20:41

I honestly don't know whether I am being unreasonable on this one. I live in an EU country with clear speed limits. I drive exactly on the limit, I'm not a slow driver, but every time I take to the road I am overtaken by someone going over the speed limit.

It really, really gets to me. I tend to flash my lights at them as they roar past but a recent passenger told me that I need to relax.

Background - two of my siblings have been injured in RATs, one of them with life changing injuries. However I do also suffer from anxiety and have been known to overreact.

Please be kind...

OP posts:
Original poster
TheGhostOfBarryFairbrother · 04/04/2016 20:41

RTAs, road traffic accidents, not rats!

OP posts:
DrDreReturns · 04/04/2016 20:44

I hate other drivers putting pressure on me when I am already doing the speed limit - tail gating etc. YANBU

BrandNewAndImproved · 04/04/2016 20:45

Why do you care of someone over takes you?

I do the speed limit, not under and not over. If someone's behind me trying to get past I tend to pull over and let them speed away. I definitely don't care if they overtake me!

How strange.

BrandNewAndImproved · 04/04/2016 20:46

Being tailgated is one thing, being annoyed Because you were overtook is another.

Original poster
TheGhostOfBarryFairbrother · 04/04/2016 20:47

Because they are speeding, putting themselves and others at risk. Speed limits exist for a reason. Arriving somewhere two minutes earlier isn't worth breaking the law...

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 04/04/2016 20:48

YABU, concentrate on your own driving, you cannot change how others drive and you shouldn't let the actions of others affect you so much.

Lights should not be flashed except as a warning, follow the Highway Code yourself before criticising others. Hmm

BrandNewAndImproved · 04/04/2016 20:50

You aren't a speed trap, you aren't a police officer and it hasn't got anything to do with you.

My auntie flashed her lights at someone who was on their phone, so they emergency stopped and she went into the back of them. It was deemed her fault by the insurance and the bloke claimed for whiplash. It wasn't her problem same as they aren't yours and something similar could happen to you.

Concentrate on your own driving instead of being annoyed Because some idiot speeds past you.

escapedfrommordor · 04/04/2016 20:52

Speed limits should be obeyed but flashing your lights just because you're annoyed is crap driving too. I hope you don't do it at night.

Original poster
TheGhostOfBarryFairbrother · 04/04/2016 20:55

Okay, fair enough, IABU.

Speed kills and ruins lives. Flashing lights is accepted in this country as a sign of danger, and they are endangering others...

OP posts:
WetLettuce123 · 04/04/2016 20:56

Aside from becoming a member of the police there is very little you can so here. Yes, the speeding drivers are wrong, but you flashing at them won't change their habits and arguably could be distracting and harmful. I'm not making excuses for them, I think you just need to concentrate yourself on driving safely and try not to let speeding drivers get to you.

Palomb · 04/04/2016 20:58

You are overreacting and you do need to relax. If you're getting that het up about it would expect you're more dangerous on the road that anyone going marginally over the speed limit.

M00nUnit · 04/04/2016 20:59

Flashing lights in the UK is more accepted as something you do to indicate you're giving way to someone. Flashing lights at someone as they drive past you is likely to cause confusion and could even cause an accident.

AppleSetsSail · 04/04/2016 21:00

I speed when I'm on the motor way and no one is around me, and the conditions are good. If someone overtakes you, it's best that you not flash your lights because it's a distraction.

Otherwise, I agree with you. I find it deeply unsociable when people drive fast on residential streets or tailgate.

Whisky2014 · 04/04/2016 21:01

YABU

HighwayDragon1 · 04/04/2016 21:01

If you flashed your lights at me I'd think there was something wrong with my car.

dodobookends · 04/04/2016 21:06

Flashing lights at someone who is speeding wouldn't cause an accident would it? Surely not?

After all, they are in full control of their vehicle and should be able to cope with every distraction admirably - if they can't then perhaps they should slow down a bit...

donajimena · 04/04/2016 21:10

I feel exactly like you. I drive up to the limit depending on conditions.
They have made lots of roads 20mph where I live and while I shouldn't feel pressurised with a queue behind me I I always do Sad

Original poster
TheGhostOfBarryFairbrother · 04/04/2016 21:10

Thank you - I think what happened to my siblings has exaggerated the risks in my head, especially with the underlying anxiety. I need to put things into perspective.

OP posts:
AppleSetsSail · 04/04/2016 21:11

After all, they are in full control of their vehicle and should be able to cope with every distraction admirably - if they can't then perhaps they should slow down a bit...

You seem to imply that there's some universal speed at which people don't have a split second panic if someone inexplicably flashes their brights at them. What is it, please?

coughingbean · 04/04/2016 21:14

I always drive to the speed limit, if weather conditions allow. I would slow down if someone were tail gating me,
But I think flashing of lights is alittle too much.
As PP have said I also would think something was wrong and stop.

howmanyairmiles · 04/04/2016 21:21

Sounds like you good benefit from some advanced driver training to improve your driving skill, awareness and confidence on the road.

Please don't try and police the road, and stop with the flashing, at best I would assume that you were warning me of a mobile camera and worse someone could get all road rage. Just mutter some suitable profanity and let them go.

PS Speed in itself doesn't kill, I did 180mph on the Autobahn two weeks ago and am still here.

rockabella · 04/04/2016 21:26

YABU.

Don't flash at other drivers for overtaking as it could potentially confuse them, and cause an accident, especially if they are travelling at a higher speed limit.

I drive at the speed limit, and I get annoyed at people tailgating but if they want to over-take that is none of my business, it's up to them if they want to drive like an idiot and I'd rather they were miles in front rather than directly behind in that case.

Original poster
TheGhostOfBarryFairbrother · 04/04/2016 21:26

I suppose I see all those people speeding past and equate it to the weeks sitting next to a bed in ITU because someone thought the speed limit didn't apply to them.

Also driving style is much more aggressive here than in the UK, people often hoot at me when I'm driving on the limit.

But I do fully accept that IABU.

OP posts:
wavingnow · 04/04/2016 21:30

OP I hate people who don't think they are indestructible so speed but as you can see from a lot of the replies so far, don't flash your lights that's not what they are for, concentrate on your own driving and think at least they aren't tailgating you. Don't you just smile when you see they have reached the junction before you but used more fuel doing so? At least they haven't caused an accident that time.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 04/04/2016 21:36

It won't change anything if you get angry at drivers who are speeding, but you will still be angry. Yes,bthey are wrong, yes they could endanger lives, and yes, you are a product of your experiences at the hands of careless drivers. But if you can learn to drive without being angry at other drivers, you will be calmer and happier.