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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be really anal about speeding?

63 replies

TheGhostOfBarryFairbrother · 04/04/2016 20:41

I honestly don't know whether I am being unreasonable on this one. I live in an EU country with clear speed limits. I drive exactly on the limit, I'm not a slow driver, but every time I take to the road I am overtaken by someone going over the speed limit.

It really, really gets to me. I tend to flash my lights at them as they roar past but a recent passenger told me that I need to relax.

Background - two of my siblings have been injured in RATs, one of them with life changing injuries. However I do also suffer from anxiety and have been known to overreact.

Please be kind...

OP posts:
TheHiphopopotamus · 04/04/2016 21:36

Yabu

You shouldn't be flashing your lights and I can imagine that you're not always bang on the speed limit as you suggest, if people are overtaking you all the time.

Whisky2014 · 04/04/2016 21:38

The fact is its not just speed that kills. It's underconfident, lack of concentration types. I have a 2 hour commute every day which varies from town driving to dual carriageways to country roads and city driving and I can honestly say it's the people driving slower, making reckless decisions or just fucking about on the road that cause the accidents rather than the speeders I see. Get over yourself, no one is an angel.

Vintage45 · 04/04/2016 21:39

I adhere to speed limits and stopping distances, they're there for a reason. Anyone else that doesn't then more fool them.

Jarstastic · 04/04/2016 21:41

I'm sorry to hear about your siblings.

YABU though.

Also, flashing lights could cause confusion which equals dangerousness.

foragogo · 04/04/2016 21:51

YABVU. if someone flashes me I immediately think there's so.etjkng wrong with my car or I've left my light on and find it really distracting. why on earth would you make what you saynis a dangerous situation - them going faster than you, more dangerous by distracting and confusing them.

wannadancethenightaway · 04/04/2016 21:56

OP don't flash your lights. I think you're half way between YABU and YANBU. People are telling you to concentrate on your own driving which I agree with...HOWEVER, you always need to be aware of how others are driving around you. That's just good road sense. I don't blame you for being annoyed but if I were you l'd continue to be aware of these dickheads and regulate your own speed and driving accordingly. Don't flash your lights though....that's not a wise thing to do

starkers1 · 04/04/2016 22:02

Slow drivers sitting permanently on or just below the speed limit on single lane roads can be as much of a hazard as speeders. YABU.

ouryve · 04/04/2016 22:06

YANBU to be annoyed by other people's potentially dangerous driving, but if they've safely overtaken you, then you need to remain in control of your own reaction.

ouryve · 04/04/2016 22:11

How is someone sitting on the speed limit a "slow" driver, starkers ?

Are you an habitual arse sniffer because a 40mph speed limit is too slow for you? How about you back off and stop being a dick?

Scattymere · 04/04/2016 22:13

OP & Vintage studies have proven drivers like you who are so intent on not going over the speed limit by even 1mph take so much focus on clocking your exact speed, constantly, you loose awareness of other things around you. You also cause drivers behind you so much frustration you increase the risk of an accident. Not even going there to list the reasons flashing at drivers is so reckless. You sound P'd off that someone dares to overtake you- so suggest you try to chill out a little and maybe do some advance driver courses. Oh and read this- www.telegraph.co.uk/cars/advice/why-its-sometimes-safer-to-break-the-speed-limit/

Vintage45 · 04/04/2016 22:15

All these drivers that exceed the speeding limit on the pretext of thinking they're safer drivers are stupid arrogant twats.

Im also so sorry for your loss OP.

Vintage45 · 04/04/2016 22:17

Im not the one that needs to chill out here somehow scatty.

Scattymere · 04/04/2016 22:22

Vintage I just wish that as much emphasis was placed on dangerous driving as is placed on speeding. It is lack of driving skill that causes the problem, not the lack of blind adherence to arbitrary limits. Perhaps people would have more respect for speed limits if they were more sensibly set?

megletthesecond · 04/04/2016 22:25

Yanbu. But don't flash you lights. If they want to risk their lives leave them to it. Drive defensively and keep your wits about you and you'll be ok.

Vintage45 · 04/04/2016 22:28

I get you Scatty but to say someone that adheres to speed limits (doesn't like to lose control of what they're driving) is dangerous is beyond me, Ive been driving for years and am very competent. There is no need whatsoever to drive above 20/30 in a built up area, nor is there any need to drive above 40/50 on a small narrow clear one.

Speed limits are there for a reason and you are not in control of your car if you exceed them.

bluecheque4595 · 04/04/2016 22:34

If they overtake and they are speeding, think this..
"Good, I am glad they are in front of me, where I can see them and their bad driving, instead of behind me where I might get hit."
Feel sorry for them, they are not as good as you, they don't understand the dangers. Feeling sorry for someone is a good way of avoiding being ragey.

Deal with road rage by narrowing your eyes at them. Don't flash lights. Its the wrong use of the lights.

I am a professional driver, I get overtaken all the time cos I always drive at the speed limit. I have to drive all day without getting wound up by bad drivers. Otherwise I would die of the stress.

Just occasionally something cool happens. I was overtaken on a motorway by someone doing over 100 mph. Soon afterwards I saw the same car pulled over, driver in a police car, answering for their driving. Look out for these moments and savour them when they happen.

Vintage45 · 04/04/2016 22:37

What a fantastic post blue.

bluecheque4595 · 04/04/2016 22:40

Thanks Vintage45!

Because I do this for a living I am very analytical about these matters.

AlsoI think road rage is an absolute killer so I put a lot of thought into how to drive in a chilled out and positive manner.

Lonecatwithkitten · 04/04/2016 22:41

Just remind yourself that the safest place is behind a speeding driver.
The advice on speed awareness courses for tailgaters is when safe pull over and let them past.

Roundtoedshoes · 05/04/2016 00:13

OP, I am going to go against the popular census on this thread and say YANBU. OK, a little BU as in two wrongs don't make a right, and flashing won't make a bit of difference to these ignorant and selfish drivers, but you are right - you are sticking to the rules of the road and I despair at the lack of thought of these other road users (sadly very common) - I will admit I have beeped occasionally at a completely unnecessary tailgate then overtake as it's dangerous and I've reacted to let them know that. I do the speed limit. I don't drive under it (also a bug bear!), but that's not good enough for all the self important folk out there who would rather intimidate and drive dangerously rather than leave a few minutes earlier (and the amount of times this happens means they all can't possibly be attending an emergency). Do I live in India or Mexico, famed for perilous roads? No, a leafy outer London suburb! Clearly there are a couple of self important drivers on this thread:

"Slow drivers sitting permanently on or just below the speed limit on single lane roads can be as much of a hazard as speeders. YABU."

Agreed, going slow is annoying, but perhaps they are not as familiar with the road or the driving conditions which leads to more cautious driving on occasion? Rules are rules and you cannot have a go at someone who drives the limit itself! But I'm sure this poster knows the roads around them. I tell people who want to drive faster to fill their boots and go to Germany and get on the autobahn.

I think we all have a friend like "Scatty"who don't like having to drive at the limit as they know they possess Stig like driving qualities, and if only those pesky limits and the people that insisted on sticking to them were eliminated, roads would become a highway of delight. No, because even if a 30 was raised to 40, they would do 50 (they are already doing the 40 as they know that's right!) I have been called Driving Miss Daisy by a friend whose entire family have had speeding tickets. I don't rely on my car for work - I am lucky enough to be able to drive at weekends, but if I couldn't access a car, it wouldn't be that bad - the people I know who have this superior attitude are often people (IME) who would never use public transport and generally rely on their vehicles to get to their place of work. Why risk it?

I've had friends like the PP who speeds on the motorway when 'conditions are right' and will not be told they are in the wrong. Slightly outing, so will be vague, but a friends sibling had a terrible crash on the motorway (flipped over several times) and is trying to sue the other party for the crash (they were miraculously unscathed) - I don't know who was to blame, I was not there, and it may have happened either way, BUT he had his cruise control set to 80 (early morning, knew the road, conditions etc) - he is in the wrong. My friend will not have it, laughable.

Sorry, have ranted! But driving is a privilege and not a right and I don't like being mocked for sticking to the rules (I hate driving at 20 MPH for the record where this has been done, but feel sorry for the PP who feels bullied by others for trying to adhere - that's not on).

So don't flash OP, but know that you are morally victorious!

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 05/04/2016 01:43

I drive exactly on the limit

Which isn't always appropriate. Some of the winding roads near where I live are national speed limit (60 mph) if you tried taking some of the hairpin bends at 60 you'd end up wrapped around a tree or in a ditch.

Likewise, weather and road conditions can make it extremely dangerous to attempt driving at anywhere near the limit. You need to match your speed to the conditions, not automatically see the limit as the speed to drive.

I tend to flash my lights at them as they roar past For someone supposedly keen on preventing accidents, you have a funny way of showing it. I can't think of a better way to cause one than temporarily dazzling another driver.

All in all, you are as great, if not greater risk than the speeding drivers you are huffing and puffing about on this thread.

LosingTheWillToSkate · 05/04/2016 01:50

Driving at 80mph on the motorway is completely accepted.

You have to bear in mind that the vast majority of speed limits were set decades ago when cars were very different machines.

Roundtoedshoes · 05/04/2016 01:58

losing - accepted by whom? Yes, my car and most modern cars can go more than 80, but the fact is, it is illegal.

LikeDylanInTheMovies · 05/04/2016 02:08

The limit used to be 80mph, but was reduced to 70 during the fuel crisis of the 1970s, it wasn't a safety measure but a fuel saving one.

nocoffeenouppee · 05/04/2016 02:12

YABU. Speeding is dangerous, but probably no less so than distracting other drivers. Concentrate on your own driving-I'm sure it's not perfect.

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