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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to send her to nursery?

33 replies

MooningIntoTheAbyss · 15/03/2016 04:50

Dd (3.7) has been dozing on and off since 3.20. She woke to wee (which she will BOT do on her own at all. She insists that I come and watch) and has been unable to go back to sleep since. Her on and off whinging and fake crying has woken DS 18 months and he is now wide awake and not all that happy about it.
I am refusing to let her get up as I am trying to re-teach that she stays in bed until the sun comes up regardless of what time (with exception of illness).
She is supposed to go to nursery today. She goes 9-4 and could have a nap there.
Of course she is going to be exhausted by lack of sleep and then nursery is exhausting anyway.
WWYD? Send her anyway? Or keep her home?

OP posts:
curren · 15/03/2016 05:06

Personally I would send her. She can nap there.

Unless you think illness is the underlying reason for this.

Original poster
MooningIntoTheAbyss · 15/03/2016 05:13

No, the underlying reason is she woke to wee, realised daddy hadn't left for work and she wanted to see him.

I think I will send her. Not used to the 3am wake ups anymore. Feel today could call for napping and coffee!!

OP posts:
curren · 15/03/2016 05:37

Sounds like a plan to me.

Not sure where you are living. But when does she start school?

Does she start this September? She can't just mis school because she got up early then.

I do feel your pain. Ds is 5. When he goes for a wee everyone is woken up and he struggles to get back to sleep. Last night was the first one in ages he got up, had a wee and put himself back to bed. Then I woke up 4.40am anyway, typical Grin

Fugghetaboutit · 15/03/2016 05:51

Couldn't she go and sleep with her dad

Original poster
MooningIntoTheAbyss · 15/03/2016 05:57

STBXH was getting up for work. I try not to let her out her room if poss cos I find it habit forming.
I know she can't wake up on purpose but she can resist settling herself again when she wakes.

She starts school in September. I have concerns. In terms of ability - maths, language, etc the nursery tell me she is quite advanced. ( she can read, do simple sums, wrote her name, my name some friends names. Stuff like that) but ultimately I feel she is still a little girl. She will only just be 4 when she starts school and with some of the more physical things (putting on socks and tights. Going to the toilet in a dress or skirt) she struggles.

OP posts:
Ditsy4 · 15/03/2016 06:00

No OP says he has gone to work.

I would read some stories to her and she might drop off again. I used story tapes ( CDs now) and put them on if mine woke early. One was an early riser at 5 am and by that age made him stay in bed until 6am by doing this. He learnt to do it himself so didn't need to wake me or his big brother.

I would send her. She can have a nap there. Keeping to routine helps kids.

curren · 15/03/2016 06:02

My dd was the youngest in her year too. She was tiny when she started. She was fine, but you could look at deferring if you are worried. Know that's not what you asked, but it's clear you are worried.

AnMum · 15/03/2016 06:26

Sounds like OP is in England if her child is starting school at only just 4, not sure deferring is an option there.

I would definitely send her to nursery, I've had similar situations and am going to work so have to send them in.

CanYouHearMeNowWhatAboutNow · 15/03/2016 06:42

I would send her. She isn't poorly. Explain to nursery that she is tired and will probably need a nap.

Xmasbaby11 · 15/03/2016 06:44

Send her in. She's not ill.

Pseudo341 · 15/03/2016 06:45

I'd send her to a nursery, she can nap there.

I believe you can defer school in the UK now but if you've got a 3 year old who can already read she's going to be bored as hell if you keep her home for another year. Reception is going to be mostly playing anyway so it'll be another year before she actually gets to do any substantial amount of learning, she'll be driving you all crazy!

Jw35 · 15/03/2016 06:46

Id send her in. Also do you want a tired grumpy 3 year old at home all day when you're sleep deprived yourself? Grin do you have black out blinds? It's getting lighter earlier now

Buckinbronco · 15/03/2016 06:47

Is this private day nursery or something else? Of course send her in, what are you going to do otherwise, have a day off work? She's only tired nursery will put them to bed

CamboricumMinor · 15/03/2016 07:07

If you are at work then send her to nursery, if you are at home then let her stay at home - if you were exhausted and didn't have to go out would you go or stay at home?

midsummabreak · 15/03/2016 07:09

could you try starting the settling to bed routine an hour earlier tonight
keep trying some calm down time with reading, quiet chatting about the day and about what to look forward to tomorrow
sometimes they sleep more soundly if settle down time is longer and bedtime is earlier

NeedACleverNN · 15/03/2016 07:10

Send her or she might think if she wakes up early, she can stay home every time

curren · 15/03/2016 07:12

If you are at work then send her to nursery, if you are at home then let her stay at home - if you were exhausted and didn't have to go out would you go or stay at home?

How is that the same? Where would the OP go or work that she could have someone put her down for a nap for as long as she needed?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 15/03/2016 07:15

AnMum summer borne which it sounds like Ops daughter is can now defer and start reception the September just after their fifth birthday.

But yes OP she's not Ill send her to nursery just warn them she might be a bit fractious till nap time

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 15/03/2016 07:17

Summer borns before anyone corrects me

TheCrumpettyTree · 15/03/2016 07:29

Send her, she's not ill. She can have a nap if she needs it. Just tell them she's tired.

Original poster
MooningIntoTheAbyss · 15/03/2016 07:45

Nail on head a few times there. I am concerned of setting precedents by not sending her in. With Dd you genuinely only have to do something once and she thinks it's a 'rule' and tries it again and again.
and no I don't want her here driving me nuts all day when I want to nap

I won't defer her as she is so mentally ready for school, I know I can as friends with similar aged children have discussed it but she is so excited to go and I think she is ready. Just worried about some of the more physical aspects. She tires easily. Still naps most days, can dress herself for the most part it struggles with socks, tights and buttons. Hates putting on tops as it 'messes up my hair mummy!' And can't re-tie her own hair yet.
but then all geniuses tend to struggle in other more regular areas Grin bet I get flamed for the genius comment

Thanks for replies. In she goes!!

OP posts:
HSMMaCM · 15/03/2016 08:11

Send her in and plan elasticated trousers and socks for school because they're easier than tights and skirts.

Original poster
MooningIntoTheAbyss · 15/03/2016 10:02

Good tip HSMMaCM. Thanks. I'll try that, she isn't a very dress orientated girl. She is very active and finds dresses and skirts at te park often a nuisance, but I am a smart casual dresser and when she sees me dress formally for anything she has seemed to follow my lead and sees school as 'formal' uniform. So has decided completely on her own that she requires dresses and skirts, maybe trousers in the winter!!

She went in. I had a gp appt that I really couldn't take her too aswell. Told the nursery staff and they said she can nap later.

She is only in 2 days a week as I am SAHM. So she just gets the 15 hours FEE. DS will start in January when she is at school.

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 15/03/2016 10:16

And can't re-tie her own hair yet.

My almost 5.5 year old can't either. Who cares?

Are you a bit too focussed on milestones?

Original poster
MooningIntoTheAbyss · 15/03/2016 10:26

No, disappointedone, she gets horribly upset about having messed up hair when she takes her tops on and off.
But had you read the post and not just ripped out half a sentence and removed all context, then you wouldn't have needed to ask that.....

OP posts: