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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to accept this holiday?

35 replies

SloaneRanger88 · 11/03/2016 12:12

Dh is a managing director at the company his dad owns. Over the past 24 months the company has expanded and is having to relocate, the extra work has meant dh is putting in 60-70hours each week, works weekends and is under a lot of stress.

His parents suggested dh, DC and me have a holiday before the actual moving date, and said we could pay for it from the company account.

So our holiday is all booked and DD was talking to her cousin about it. Cousin is also going on holiday soon and they were telling each other what they were going to do. Que sil butting in and telling DD 'some of us have to pay for own holidays' when DD mentions jet skis.

Is this holiday unreasonable considering dh works fucking hard and the money in that account reflects that?

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 11/03/2016 12:24

He's using company funds for a holiday?

redexpat · 11/03/2016 12:25

Whatever her feelings it's not appropriate to mention it like that to your DD.

Lonecatwithkitten · 11/03/2016 12:26

Have they taken advice from the accountant about the tax implications for this. The company can do this, but your husband will have to lay the tax on the cost of the holiday.

BolshierAryaStark · 11/03/2016 12:28

Is SIL DH sister & if so in what capacity does she work at her DF company?

WorraLiberty · 11/03/2016 12:41

Sounds like there might have been a bit of one-upmanship going on between the kids, so she stepped in to put a stop to it.

Original poster
SloaneRanger88 · 11/03/2016 12:51

Dh is a shareholder and the money is being taken as dividend.

Sil does not work for the company.

There really was no bragging at all, just two 5 year olds talking about how much ice cream they were planning to eat on holiday.

OP posts:
BolshierAryaStark · 11/03/2016 12:53

So is she DH's sister?

OurBlanche · 11/03/2016 12:54

If SIL is DHs DSis then he and their parents need to have a quick 'realities of life' chat with her.

Then you and Dh need to have a 'what is and is not appropriate to say in front of 5 year olds when you are spoiling for a fight' chat

Otherwise, enjoy the holiday - and all the ice cream you can find Smile

Lonecatwithkitten · 11/03/2016 12:54

So if he is taking a dividend the company is not really paying. He is taking renumeration he is entitled to as a shareholder and then buying a holiday.

Original poster
SloaneRanger88 · 11/03/2016 12:55

Yes, she is dhs sister

OP posts:
BolshierAryaStark · 11/03/2016 12:59

K, so your DH is MD at dads company, she doesn't have a role there, you're getting a nice free holiday & you can't perhaps get where the snide comment came from? Pretty naive OP.
But yes I agree with Worra, she nipped one-upmanship in the bud-how did jet ski's come into an ice cream conversation? Hmm

TurnOffTheTv · 11/03/2016 13:03

It's not a free holiday though? He is a shareholder and taking a dividend which he is entitled to do.

BolshierAryaStark · 11/03/2016 13:07

Ah yes forgot it was from 'dividend' as it only became so when a couple of posters questioned the tax implications of that... It was from the company account in the OP.

ImperialBlether · 11/03/2016 13:08

She's not getting a "nice free holiday"! Her husband, as MD, is getting dividends and spending the money on a holiday.

BolshierAryaStark · 11/03/2016 13:12

Again I'll point to the OP which doesn't mention dividends & if it is from his dividends as a shareholder why is the title To Accept This Holiday?

QuiteLikely5 · 11/03/2016 13:17

This is what happens when you treat your children differently, why can't Pils pay for their dd to go on holiday?

QuiteLikely5 · 11/03/2016 13:17

Did she get the chance to work for the family business?

TurnOffTheTv · 11/03/2016 13:39

Dh is a shareholder and the money is being taken as dividend
Bolshier
It was in another post by OP

foodiefil · 11/03/2016 13:57

If it's a dividend payment then your DH is using some of the money he's earned for the company anyway so he's already paying for it.

Inappropriate to comment to your dd, that will be confusing for her.

Have a fabulous holiday. Wine#

ps. costcoffeeplease so what if he was it's a family business?

BolshierAryaStark · 11/03/2016 14:15

Yes Turn I noticed that, it's called drip feeding or in this case changing information as OP realised that holidays on company expenses are, in general, frowned upon & not really ethical
Like I said, if it's from his dividends then what is the point of the thread as I don't know about other families but I don't accept holidays from DH, we arrange & pay for them together..

Katenka · 11/03/2016 14:59

If it's from dividends the company isn't paying for it.

So someone is misrepresenting it to sil somewhere. Or she doesn't understand how it works.

Who told sil the company was paying for it?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 11/03/2016 15:46

So either someone told sil a fib about how it was being paid for or someone told mn a fib about how it's being paid for...?

quencher · 11/03/2016 16:03

What has his sister got to do with the company if she is not part off it. Op's holiday is none of sil business. This only matters if sil was pushed out or refused to join.

curren · 11/03/2016 16:36

I'd love to know how the sil even knows how it's been paid for.

paul has it.

Plus I think someone may have been bragging to sil about a free holiday.

witsender · 11/03/2016 16:42

Company accounts quickly became dividend didn't it Hmm If this is him using a dividend he has earned to buy a holiday for his family why the OP? Why the dad saying treat yourself? Why query 'accepting' the holiday?

You're not being straight methinks OP.

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