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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a bit deflated after visiting this wedding venue?

51 replies

ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 10/03/2016 21:57

I had a particular wedding venue in mind that, on paper, looked absolutely perfect.

Went to go visit it today and....I was underwhelmed to say the least Sad

It was nice but just not what I pictured. The price was a lot more than they stated on the website and the room was so small! We were only planning to have a small wedding and yet there was no way we could fit everyone in the space they had, it was a lovely place but just not what I had pictured.

Aibu to be upset? I know its definately not the end of the world and I hadn't booked anything yet but I had really got it into my head that that would be the place we would get married as it looked so amazing online.

OP posts:
justmyview · 10/03/2016 22:00

I wouldn't worry too much, just keep on looking and you'll find somewhere lovely

Original poster
ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 10/03/2016 22:03

I'm sure there will be other places but I'm just worried that I won't find anywhere that will be what we want Sad

Churches and registry offices are out, as are any super fancy hotels and things and we don't have the budget for that.

Weddings are getting ridiculous! The place I saw was only a little pub by the beach but for the venue hire and food they wanted over £3000! Waaaaay too much!

OP posts:
Hassled · 10/03/2016 22:06

Why are registry offices out? I'd have thought that was the cheapest option. Then you can hire out a nice restaurant room or something for the meal afterwards?

BestZebbie · 10/03/2016 22:41

It is at this point that I would like to remind everyone that if you just hire the local community centre you can then get a T-rex into the budget as well. (no, not linked to the company/on commission): dinohire.com/

Purplerain067 · 10/03/2016 22:43

I want that dinosaur!!!!

EarSlaps · 10/03/2016 22:54

When we were looking (10 years ago since we were looking!) we found that the places you could have the wedding and reception were massively overpriced.

We ended up hiring a room in the town hall of a small market town, then using a private school as the venue with an outside catering company.

My sister had a registry office then just had a big restaurant meal after. That was lovely too.

Original poster
ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 10/03/2016 23:19

We want something quite casual and reasonably priced! Only reason why I desperately don't want a registry office is that all the ones near us (within a 30 mile radius) are horrible, tatty and small. We aren't have a big wedding but the majority of people attending will be family, some from hundreds of miles away so I couldn't organise a ceremony where 50% of them won't be able to attend due to numbers Confused

OP posts:
gallicgirl · 10/03/2016 23:34

Have you checked your council website for a list of aapproved premises? There might be a gem you're unaware of.
Alternatively how would you feel about doing the legal stuff with a couple of witnesses and then having a big party elsewhere? That could open up more venues.

Also don't be afraid to barter. We're getting married In a hotel that does exclusive access for weekend weddings at a cost of £18000 but we're having a small wedding mid week with a set menu from the restaurant for less than £1500.

nocoolnamesleft · 10/03/2016 23:36

Wow, that dinosaur site! Um, right, just need to find someone to marry!

More seriously, there probably isn't a perfect place. Have you done the thing about working out your essentials, and your desirables?

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 10/03/2016 23:42

It really isn't the end of the world that one place didn't live up to its promise.
Remember that brochures and internet sites are just selling tools whether they're for houses, venues or holidays. You have to weed them out and then go see the reality for yourself.

What part of the country and what day of the week do you want? perhaps we can all look and try help find something just lovely for you?

thisismeusernameything · 10/03/2016 23:43

The best wedding I ever went to started at 3pm, there were only 10 of us so very intimate. Everybody got to speak to everybody and it allowed the bride and groom to do what they wanted to do.

The food was fantastic and we had a personal waiter in our very luxurious hotel. We were home by 10.30pm filled up with champagne and very lovely food. It cost under £7000 and that included the 2.5k wedding dress.

There are some lovely venues out there OP. If you gave us an area we could all look for you.

Original poster
ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 10/03/2016 23:55

I am in the West Country and the majority of Dp's family are in the same area. Most of my family will be travelling from elsewhere in the UK.

Non negotiable - Has to be a Saturday, due to DMum's work in schools.
- Has to be end of June/early July - as above!

Everything else we are prety relaxed and flexible about! I know this is absolutely in peak season but in order to have everyone we care about at the wedding this time is very important Smile

Gallic, I really want to have everyone we care about at the whole day. I would feel awful having some people to the evening and not the ceremony. As we are keeping it quite small we really want to have people we care about at the whole day.

OP posts:
cdtaylornats · 10/03/2016 23:59

Can they deliver a T Rex overnight - I've got a neighbour I want to scare the shit out of.

MardyGrave · 11/03/2016 00:02

How many guests will you have?

You really are at the peak of wedding season, Id expect an addition of at least £2/5k for a Saturday July wedding

notquitehuman · 11/03/2016 00:02

You could do the legal bit a few days before, then have a proper 'ceremony' on the big day. You wouldn't need an approved venue then.

Or how about hiring a youth hostel? We looked into this and it looks so much fun. The ones in Devon and Cornwall were too far for us, but beautiful: exclusive-hire.yha.org.uk/

MidniteScribbler · 11/03/2016 00:08

I had mine at a stage area of a local park next to a lake. The council allowed us to hire it for exclusive use (key hire fee, refundable), got nibble platters done by a local caterer and delivered on the day. Bought our own beer/wine/soft drink and served it. A lovely relaxed afternoon, could invite as many people as we wanted, and all up cost us less than $2000AUD (about 1000 pountds) including my dress and shoes. You don't need a fancy venue and expensive catering to have a good time.

BackforGood · 11/03/2016 00:25

I WANT THAT DINOSAUR Grin

Katenka · 11/03/2016 05:41

You want a prime day in prime wedding season.

You need to compromise somewhere if you have a small budget.

Most wedding venues will advertise 'starting from prices' which will be mid week or winter dates or 'average prices'. A Saturday in June/July will be more expensive.

When you check out any website try not to get it into your head that is the one. It leads people to disappointment or booking something just because which may not be the best decision. But because they have their heart set on it, people book it.

Websites always show venues off in the best light. You can't know if something is right until you see it for yourself.

AlpacaLypse · 11/03/2016 05:59

The best wedding I ever went to was in peak season - first Saturday in July. It was also uber cheap. The legal marriage took place in the registry office on the Saturday morning, the invitation made it clear that anyone who wanted to turn up was welcome, but the bride and groom's families would get first dibs on getting in the room. The important bit was in the afternoon.

The bride had been heavily involved over the years with the local Street Theatre Festival, which was that weekend, and one of the performers, a comedian, had agreed to conduct a hand-fasting ceremony as part of his act. I'm pretty certain some of the onlookers haven't realised to this day that as far as my two friends were concerned, that was their real wedding.

As for food/reception etc, we'd all been asked to bring a bottle and a dish, and we had it as a mahoosive picnic in the middle of the park area with the Festival going on all around us.

I know that one of the pubs had kindly agreed to let us go in an otherwise unused function room if it had been wet.

My friend the bride reckoned the total cash outlay, including wedding outfits (which were vintage men's evening dress - for both of them...) was about £800.

This was 20 years ago, they're still together.

This one did rely heavily on getting friends and family to help, but it was fantastic!

AlpacaLypse · 11/03/2016 06:00

Forgot to say I've also twice been part of the passing audience for similar events at other Festivals, one at Glastonbury, one at Beautiful Days.

randomsabreuse · 11/03/2016 06:12

I'd look at somewhere like Tavistock town hall or similar. Definitely wasn't £££ when we had ours a few years ago. Did book a long time in advance though.

notonyurjellybellynelly · 11/03/2016 06:13

OP, Could your mum really not manage to get a day off work?

PennyHasNoSurname · 11/03/2016 06:21

We only knew our chosen venue existed by scouring the list of licensed premises online. We wanted all in one venue and them to do a hog roast and this pub with rooms popped up. Ended up being the best food we had ever had / amazingly accomodating wedding coordinator / very reasonably priced.

Dont be dis heartened about your venue - planning a wedding when not engaged (i.e. dream wedding) will be very different to planning an actual wedding.

ftmsoon · 11/03/2016 06:29

Can you consider mid-week in a half-term? We got married on the Thursday before Good Friday, mid-week prices but my two teacher bridesmaids could attend and others took one day annual leave and traveled down on the morning of the wedding.

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