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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a bit deflated after visiting this wedding venue?

51 replies

ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 10/03/2016 21:57

I had a particular wedding venue in mind that, on paper, looked absolutely perfect.

Went to go visit it today and....I was underwhelmed to say the least Sad

It was nice but just not what I pictured. The price was a lot more than they stated on the website and the room was so small! We were only planning to have a small wedding and yet there was no way we could fit everyone in the space they had, it was a lovely place but just not what I had pictured.

Aibu to be upset? I know its definately not the end of the world and I hadn't booked anything yet but I had really got it into my head that that would be the place we would get married as it looked so amazing online.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 11/03/2016 06:43

Are there really no pretty registry offices in the West Country?

Shinynewbed · 11/03/2016 07:10

My best friend is a teacher. She was due to start in a new school at the start of September. We got married the day before (a Sunday) her headmaster was very obliging and let her have the Monday off. (Totally opposite ends of the country) I'm sure if your Mum asked for one day for her daughters wedding that would be fine. In fact. If it's on a Saturday why does it matter that it's in June? A Saturday in term time in April or any other Saturday except peak times she would still be fine for work on Monday?

nam207 · 11/03/2016 07:17

We looked at lots of licensed venues and were disappointed too.

We ended up doing the legal ceremony first thing in the morning at a registry office, just us and our parents, then having a really lovely humanist ceremony - our "proper" wedding- later in the day.

That meant we could choose somewhere that didn't usually do weddings. We ended up somewhere really beautiful for much less money than the other venues we'd seen were charging.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 11/03/2016 07:23

Is there a particular reason it has to be June/July? September & early October can have equally nice (if not better) weather & the prices will be cheaper. I'm friends with a couple who got married the 2nd week of September, I was talking to the wife during their Silver Anniversary celebrations & she said she could count on 1 hand the number of times the weather had been bad on previous anniversaries.

BikeRunSki · 11/03/2016 07:25

If I lived in the Wedt Country, I'd want to get married at the National Marine Aquarium!

MiaowTheCat · 11/03/2016 07:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

neonrainbow · 11/03/2016 07:35

I had a beautiful town hall, everything in the same place and no extra charge for peak seasons or days. Worked out at least half the price of anywhere else. Check out licenced venues on the local council website to make sure you haven't missed anything. Alternative what about the ceremony in a posh place then go elsewhere for the reception ie we looked at a modern theatre for ours. Or a nice village hall that you can decorate.

zzzzz · 11/03/2016 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CakeNinja · 11/03/2016 07:54

My teacher SIL was mother of the bride recently and took 2 days off for the wedding. Unpaid, but she got the time off.

Lj8893 · 11/03/2016 07:57

Don't know how far away you are but have you looked at Poole Guildhall registry office, it's beautiful!

Lj8893 · 11/03/2016 07:59

And isn't Taunton registry office quite pretty?

BikeRunSki · 11/03/2016 08:11

Icseem to remember Newton Abbot town hall is quite nice.

cashmerecardigans · 11/03/2016 08:14

We hired the local village hall, it cost £180 plus 20 to a farmer to use the next door field for parking. We bought all the drinks and paid a friend of DS to work behind the bar. Got a local caterer in and bought decorations from eBay. Quite a bit of work to set up and cleaned up ourselves, but everyone mucked in to help. It looked gorgeous and felt really personal.
We had the hall from Thursday night to Monday morning. Having said that, some halls have cottoned on and charge a weekend package rate up to 700.
Worth seeing what there is locally though

Daisydukes79 · 11/03/2016 08:15

We got married in a castle. We did only have the ceremony and photos there but it cost £350 to hire the room. We hired a local priest we knew and liked (he was totally cool and not overly religious focused in his role in the wedding).
We hired our local football stadium for the reception. Good size hall, reasonably priced and they had decent caterers. (Also my hubby's lifelong team so added bonus).
Sometimes it worth thinking out of the box re venues.

Boredworkingmum020 · 11/03/2016 08:38

Is there any reason you don't want to get married in a church?

skankingpiglet · 11/03/2016 08:42

I hate the phrase 'thinking outside the box', but it's probably what you need to do here. There are definitely ways to do things beautifully and on the cheap if you don't go down the standard routes. Like buying a house, pick out the non-negotiables and budget for them, then everything else has to fit around that.

For us it was important to have everyone there we wanted, and not have to cut numbers. It also had to fit DH's requirement of being 'respectable' whatever the fuck that means. We had a church wedding to keep family happy, and a woodland reception (OMG, that dinosaur would have been amazing stalking through the trees...!). It cost £10k (3 1/2 yrs ago), which is an awful lot of money, but that covered absolutely everything including a band, a good deal of booze, and 200 meals (lunch plus dinner) and is a hell of a lot less than most others I've been to. Going a bit off the beaten track also has the added benefit of guests remembering the day for years to come which I'm not sure is the case in 'identikit' hotel/converted barn type weddings.

PennyHasNoSurname · 11/03/2016 11:30

What about Mill on the Brue in Bruton, Somerset?

SohowdoIdothis · 11/03/2016 12:24

Look at village halls, some are lovely, very cheap, great kitchens, tables and chairs already there, you can hire them for a whole weekend, decorate on Friday/Thursday.

chunkymum1 · 11/03/2016 12:47

I went to a wedding once where the legal bit of the wedding was in a local registry office- only a hand full of immediate family attended due to size and the fact that this was not what they wanted for the wedding. Immediately after they joined all their guests at the venue they's chosen and had their own ceremony designed by them. As well as allowing them to have the ceremony as they wanted this meant that they didn't need a venue that was licensed for weddings so they could book a lovely venue that they wanted much more cheaply than a specified wedding venue. One of the most memorable and lovely weddings I've been to (and the couple are still together almost 20 years on)

AlpacaPicnic · 11/03/2016 13:30

I've met that dinosaur!

Is a church 100% out of the question... only I know this beautiful dual purpose church and library that holds weddings...
St Aubyn Church

RJnomore1 · 11/03/2016 13:34

Can I divorce dh to remarry him just so I can get that dinosaur?

doughnutslikefannys · 11/03/2016 14:41
Original poster
ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 11/03/2016 17:45

Tbh I wouldn't mind a church but DP says no, he isn't religious and really doesn't want one.

I get what people are saying about doing the legal bit seperately but I really don't want to do that, to me that is the most important part of the day, the bit where you say your vows and commit to each other so I definitely want that bit to be 'real' on the day so to speak.

Unfortunately DM can't take any days off work, so it has to be the weekend and as we have so many family members coming from various parts of the country it would make sense for everyone.

I really wanted it in the summer so it will be as warm as possible, I despise being cold and don't want to have to spend all day in a coat to keep warm Grin

Bike, I would love that, I've been there a few times and it would be amazing but I'm not sure DP would like it and its probably ££££.

Same with Eden project, I'd love to get married there and it wouldn't matter so much if its cold outside if you're in a nice warm dome but sooooo expensive to get married there!

OP posts:
NattyTile · 11/03/2016 17:59

Midnite, in the UK you can't get married in a park, only in a licensed venue and I believe only inside, although that may have changed recently.

OP a friend was married in the most wonderful velvet cape and gown in the middle of winter, just as an option if you can't make June/July work.

Or, we usually have an Indian summer just as the schools go back, might be cheaper to look at a weekend in September? Mmm. Harvest theme, beautiful!

Second the poster who suggested a PM celebration, although for me personally the nicest wedding I ever went to was one on a Sunday immediately after Morning Worship. Everyone brought a plate and had a beautifully chilled Sunday lunch, then drifted off home in the afternoon. Church might not work for you if you don't want to have the religious aspect, but maybe there's sonewhere you could do something similar and keep the costs down that way?

CallousAndStrange · 11/03/2016 18:16

www.oldrydoninn.co.uk. Beautiful garden for a summer wedding reception, lovely food (loads of it and it's completely personalised) - and there's no venue hire, they just charge per head for food.

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