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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Birthday parties during half term

55 replies

Believeitornot · 17/02/2016 16:40

Prepared to be told I'm being U

So my youngest (not at school yet) has been invited to a party during half term and it falls on a week day. They're too young to be left at the party (preschool age).

Siblings aren't allowed but my oldest is going to be with me and I've no one to look after eldest (dh is at work, grandparents are out and usual childcare are on holiday). However my eldest isn't allowed to attend.

AIBU that half term weekday parties are a PITA - the parent doesn't have school age children so obviously didn't think about it (I'm not the only with this dilemma)?

I'm thinking of not taking my youngest to the party but it seems such a shame!

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 17/02/2016 16:41

I don't see what other option you have.

Jibberjabberjooo · 17/02/2016 16:43

Where is the party?

Cococo1 · 17/02/2016 16:44

Sometimes you have to miss parties. It's not that big a deal.

Original poster
Believeitornot · 17/02/2016 16:49

i know sometimes parties have to be missed - just seems a shame that's all. Maybe it is because i have tried to accommodate siblings when I've had parties for the DCs

OP posts:
mouldycheesefan · 17/02/2016 16:53

We have never been able to attend parties at half term, either away or have plans or working and kids at holiday club. Unfortunately you just can't go to every party they get invited to!

mouldycheesefan · 17/02/2016 16:54

Siblings can double the numbers especially in school hols so not an option for a lot of people, also expands the age range. Perfectly reasonable to say no siblings.

carrielou2007 · 17/02/2016 16:54

Is the party at the mum's house or at a soft play type place? I've always paid for my other two DC at soft play type parties and paid for food/lunch etc for them. I have asked mum if this is ok, otherwise would decline party as no-one else to look after DC.

pilates · 17/02/2016 16:55

YABU
It a PITA to have to cater for siblings at parties.
You normally end up feeding them and then they expect a party bag.
Does your eldest not have a friend he/she could spend a couple of hours with?
Failing that, you will have to decline.

Waltermittythesequel · 17/02/2016 16:57

If you can't go, you can't go. Just decline the invitation!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 17/02/2016 16:58

Well if your not the only one having this dilemma, then why don't you sort it out so maybe a couple of you take the older DC somewhere, like a play park or something and the others mind the DC at the party?

jelliebelly · 17/02/2016 17:00

What kind of party is it and how old is sibling? Are they old enough to sit quietly in the corner and play on iPad for example? Or pay for them to play/eat with you if indoor play?

NinaSimoneful · 17/02/2016 17:18

How DARE the child have been born at a time which often coincides with half term? The cheek of it! That mother clearly should've either been induced a week earlier or else insisted the baby stay put for an extra week so as not to possibly inconvenience people in the years to come. Some people just don't think of others at all do they? Don't go to the party, that'll show her. Bet she has her next child at a time more convenient for you.

BackforGood · 17/02/2016 17:21

Well, the hosts are NBU to hold the party when it is convenient for them (older siblings and school holidays won't be on their radar yet is this is their eldest), nor are they in ANY way BU to say no siblings.

Personally I think it's all a bit unnecessary to have a formal party for pre-schoolers anyway, so I'd just thank them for the invitation and say sorry but you aren't able to attend. It happens, and it's not the end of the world.
I'm not sure how you can be reasonable or unreasonable in this?

Original poster
Believeitornot · 17/02/2016 17:22

What an over reaction Nina Grin

OP posts:
NinaSimoneful · 17/02/2016 17:25

Lol Grin

Passthecake30 · 17/02/2016 17:26

I would say that your Dc is unable to attend as you have no childcare for the other one. She might extend the invite, she might not. Tbh when my eldest has joined my youngest at a party he tends to stick out like a sore thumb and it all feels a bit awkward....

Original poster
Believeitornot · 17/02/2016 17:28

I've explored all options - none viable. It is the first time I've had this problem and it is because it is a weekday in the holidays.

I'm happy to accept IABU - you'll note from my OP I'm not raging just a bit annoyed.

Oh well I'll decline!

OP posts:
Original poster
Believeitornot · 17/02/2016 17:31

Yes exactly Pass that's why I wouldn't bring eldest without checking. It'll be so much easier when dd is old enough to be left

OP posts:
maydancer · 17/02/2016 17:36

Around here children go to the parties without parents as soon as they are toilet trained.it's only on MN it seems they cannot manage

Birdsgottafly · 17/02/2016 17:42

Children were I am were always left from three years old, is the Mum stipulating that she can't be left?

I'd contact her, one of the other Parents might be happy to be supervising a few.

This is such a non issue were I am, I really don't get it.

steppemum · 17/02/2016 17:48

you could just as easily be writing an op which complains that a party is during the day when you are working, and why didn't they have it at half term when you were off as you have to look after school age children.

You can't please everyone with party times.

I left mine from age 3, as this is what we all did. To be fair it was usually small parties at people's homes.

I hate with a passion the idea that siblings should come. My dc have a number limit, and they want their friends, not their friends siblings. Added to which the older children tend to dominate.

BlueJug · 17/02/2016 17:48

You have you answer. You will have to miss the party. It won't be the last. There will be holidays and family weddings and Mother's Day and Father's Day and, and, and...

Siblings are an absolute pain for all the reasons mentioned and more.

If you really can't sort it it is a shame but there you go.

Original poster
Believeitornot · 17/02/2016 17:49

I do work (4 days a week) and have take half term off. Weekend parties are usually easier all around for most people....

Anyway I accept the flip side and will chalk it up to experience

OP posts:
AutumnLeavesArePretty · 17/02/2016 18:06

If there's no one else who can take her and they can't be left then rsvp saying no. Presumably it's not this half term week we are in or very bad manners to reply so late.

soapboxqueen · 17/02/2016 18:07

Round here people just bring older and younger siblings to the party. They just sit and play on an iPad or whatever. It's not an issue.