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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Birthday parties during half term

55 replies

Believeitornot · 17/02/2016 16:40

Prepared to be told I'm being U

So my youngest (not at school yet) has been invited to a party during half term and it falls on a week day. They're too young to be left at the party (preschool age).

Siblings aren't allowed but my oldest is going to be with me and I've no one to look after eldest (dh is at work, grandparents are out and usual childcare are on holiday). However my eldest isn't allowed to attend.

AIBU that half term weekday parties are a PITA - the parent doesn't have school age children so obviously didn't think about it (I'm not the only with this dilemma)?

I'm thinking of not taking my youngest to the party but it seems such a shame!

OP posts:
2rebecca · 17/02/2016 18:11

How would this be different if it was a school week? Parties are usually after school so you'd still have husband at work and another child to look after. I think parties should be left until children are old enough to be left unaccompanied. Expecting parent but no siblings is unreasonable. the school hol bit is a red herring.

MrsBobDylan · 17/02/2016 18:15

No sibs in this instance might mean they can't join the party but could sit quietly with you perhaps?

Brightnorthernlights · 17/02/2016 18:19

Can't you 1. Arrange a play date for her or 2. Ask somebody else going to the party, take your DS along ?

Round here there are lots of reciprocal arrangements going on over half term/during term time, to cover siblings/work cover/parties/clubs. Not sure how We would manage without this.

TickettyBoo · 17/02/2016 18:36

Can't another parent take your child? I've taken someone else's with me before, saves all parents having to suffer the noise! Lol 😂

redskytonight · 17/02/2016 18:52

Can't

  • another parent at the party watch your DC
  • you "share" with another parent with the same dilemma i.e. one takes the little ones and one takes the older siblings
  • older sibling goes on a "play date" for a bit
ZanyMobster · 17/02/2016 18:54

Why can't the older sibling sit with you at the party?

Jibberjabberjooo · 17/02/2016 18:56

If it's soft play then I bring my other child and they go play and aren't involved in the party. But if it's at home that's a bit different.

Waltermittythesequel · 17/02/2016 18:58

I don't get the angst.

TattyDevine · 17/02/2016 18:59

Anyone who throws a party but bans siblings from sitting on the side with the parent is crackers in my opinion. No party is complete without an sneering 10 year old scowling into an iPad surely. Or similar.

thegiddylimit · 17/02/2016 18:59

It's the weekday party dilemma. I always refuse weekday parties, bloody pain in the neck for anyone with a job/no grandparents/not local but always have one for DD1 who was born between Christmas and New Year. If you can't make it don't go, we have about 1/3 of the guests for DD1's party not able to attend because it's a busy time of year, we factor that in when sending out invites.

Parker231 · 17/02/2016 19:13

Mine could only go to weekend parties as after school they went to after school club and during the school holidays they were at holiday club unless DH or I were on holiday from work, in which case we went away.

Sometimesithinkimbonkers · 17/02/2016 19:20

Ive got two of these this week. Today we left DD4 with a parent we know well. Tomorrow gonna have to take all 3 DC and entertain for 2 hours!'mn

jelliebelly · 17/02/2016 19:38

Lol Tattydevine that is my 10 year old you are talking about!

EffieIsATrinket · 17/02/2016 19:45

If it's soft play I pay the sibling in and sit separately with them.

Activity centre bring a book/colouring/iPad and sit in the corner or foyer - also bring snack.

Bowling/jumping clay pay for sibling to do it separately or sit in cafe.

House party would just have to leave them though hasn't arisen.

WhiteBlueDaisies · 17/02/2016 19:50

But if you're going and staying anywhy can't your older DC just sit with you Confused

Where is the party? That's a bit awkward if it's at the party child's I guess.

BlueJug · 17/02/2016 20:11

I used to hate, hate, hate 3-5 on a Saturday afternoon. Much preferred weekday after school parties. Holidays are a bit hit and miss, Some parents love them others are away or can't do it. Swings and roundabouts.
DS born in school hols.

Original poster
Believeitornot · 17/02/2016 21:07

It's at their home so no I can't stay with older sibling. He might want to join in and want some food! Awkward.

OP posts:
ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 17/02/2016 21:09

Would another parent keep an eye on your preschooler for you? Does the mum specify that all parents must stay?

Ameliablue · 17/02/2016 21:21

No matter when you plan a party for, it will be unsuitable for someone.

ZanyMobster · 17/02/2016 21:45

That does make it difficult, if that was the case then I would probably ask someone who was staying to watch the little one but only if I knew them well enough.

2rebecca · 17/02/2016 22:20

Mine struggled with weekend parties because their dad and I are divorced and lived 40 miles apart and they did alternative weekends. If you have the kids for the weekend you don't want to spend half your time in the car.

WonderingAspie · 17/02/2016 23:07

I'd see if I could fix it for sibling to go to a friends house or decline. We had a party at home last year and 1 mum made a habit of rocking up to parties with her DP and 2 other children in tow, letting the older children join in and eat loads of food so I had to state on the invites that we couldn't accommodate siblings. I think in a house this is reasonable. The same as it is reasonable to decline if you have nowhere to send a sibling in half term. We had this this week, DD incited to a party, I accepted then forgot it was a half term weekday and had to quickly ask if I could bring DS. Thankfully it was a hall type party and I just brought his tablet and he stayed with me, I did let him have a bit of food though but I took snacks for him as well. I never expect them to be catered for or expect party bags etc.

Xmasbaby11 · 17/02/2016 23:25

As pp have said, you need to make plans for the older child to see friends otherwise you can't go.

Tbh, if the party is for a pre schooler, they probably won't remember about the party plans anyway so you can cancel and do something else if you can't make alternative plans for the older one. (I say this because dd just turned 4 and missed a friend's party because we had something else on, and she forgot about the original plan completely. As long as they do something fun they are happy.)

attheendoftheday · 18/02/2016 00:31

When I've had this problem I've sent my dd along with one of the another parent (who was going anyway) to be responsible for her.

I have a principle of 'Never turn down an opportunity to do a favour for someone, you never know when you'll need one back'.

Original poster
Believeitornot · 18/02/2016 08:04

Have taken the advice here and dropped a text to another mum to ask if we can share the burden as it were. So I'm going to take mine and her DCs to the party and she will look after our eldest ones.

Thanks!

OP posts: