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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want my DH to think ahead

46 replies

Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 05:55

We are both off work this week
He goes and makes an advanced doctors appointment for 7.30am this morning so we both have to be up. Him to go to doctors and me to look after DS. Ask if that was the only appointment avaiable and he says no I could have had one at 9:30!!!
This is after saying yesterday morning he felt really tired and could I get up with DS and I could have a lie in tomorrow (today). He only told me of docs appointment after he had the lie in as he forgot. Why did he not think we were both off work so maybe one of us could have a lie in.
Anyway that is mildly annoying the incident that really got on my nerves was-
I was out yesterday from about 3pm, we do not let DS have a sleep after 3pm as it means he does not sleep at night well and is awful to put down to bed.
Get in at about 11.30pm to my husband complaining it took hours to get DS down and he had only just gone to bed and he had to take all the stars off his star chart (only started star chart yesterday so granted not many stars)
Turns out DS had a sleep from 4pm till 5.30pm!!!!!. I just glared at him and walked out of lounge and went to bed.
I know what he was thinking- oh good DS is asleep and I can watch the cricket in peace. Did not think the trouble it would cause later at bedtime
Arsehole

OP posts:
BaBaBaBoomBoom · 11/02/2016 06:03

I would be making him take ds to the doctors with him, for a start. It's just selfish. My Dh can be the same, watching for advice

StarCat · 11/02/2016 06:11

My dh would just take him to doctors

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 06:21

He needs to have a procedure, so can understand why he does not want DS with him. But I wish he had engaged his brain.

OP posts:
StarCat · 11/02/2016 06:25

At 7.30am? I doubt they will do much that ds couldn't attend at that time. All my children as a group have been there for me having injections, including contraceptive in my bum, smear tests and sweep. He could takd him, what on earth does he think normal parents do?

Baconyum · 11/02/2016 06:29

What does he think single parents do?!

Typical bloke frankly no thought on how his actions affect others, not just you but DC too! Poor little in will be shattered today!

StarCat · 11/02/2016 06:35

Dh takes all of ours to the barbers, doctors, dentist. You just get them all to sit in a row, give them something to hold and tell them to sit still. The 8 year old will keep an eye on the baby, if not the 3 year old will.

I get hair done, nails done, the lot regularly with them all.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 06:36

It's a simple procedure but a bit tmi.

OP posts:
StarCat · 11/02/2016 06:38

There are curtains though, I doubt it is more than a sweep. Half naked, woman touching your insides! Grin

Costacoffeeplease · 11/02/2016 06:38

He's a thoughtless arrogant cock isn't he?

Iggi999 · 11/02/2016 06:39

Taking that appointment meant someone who needed one before work couldn't get one, so I'd say that was selfish too. I think the sleep thing is a lesson learned, at least it wasn't you putting him down! I'm pretty sure you're not meant to take stars OFF a chart ever though Shock

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 06:39

He is walking around at the moment rubbing his neck saying it is sore.
I ask if he has taken anything, he says no.
Yep because painkillers work so much better still in the packet. He is soooo going to annoy me today

OP posts:
mummytime · 11/02/2016 06:39

Sorry had to butt in to say: I strongly disagree with ever removing stars from a star chart.

How old is your son? Is he really ready for a star chart anyway?

Often the best use is more for the parents, to ensure they spot and celebrate good behaviour. If your son wasn't tired because he'd had a nap, then it wasn't bad behaviour that he didn't go to sleep. (How would you DH like it if you sent him to bed at 5pm, not allowing him to watch the cricket, and made him stay there, and told him off for not going to sleep.)

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 06:41

I did have a go about the taking the appointment off someone who could have gone before work because it always annoys me to see people I know at the doctors early who I know don't work.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 06:45

He asked for a star chart as his cousin has one. He gets to put a star on when he sleeps well and eats well. He loves it.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 11/02/2016 06:54

My husband does stuff like this. Grrrrr. We have complex childcare arrangements which involve me working shorter days Monday and Tuesday to be able to do the nursery pick up and then having a nanny cover the late afternoon/early evening of my longer days (which is bloody expensive but the only way to work full time/commute). Still with me?
Husband tends to book time off at last minute for routine stuff like doctor, dentist, car service etc. But it never occurs to him that it would make most sense to do it Monday or Tuesday when he'd then be on hand to do the nursery collection. It really annoys me when he books stuff on the nanny's days and then announces magnanimously that since he's home he will collect children .... when we've already paid a fucking fortune for someone else to do it!!!
And the other thing ... giving children snacks shortly before a meal and then acting offended that they don't eat what he's cooked. Well, duh.
Sorry he is great in all the important ways but sometimes a bit of logic works be great!

Believeitornot · 11/02/2016 06:59

I keep complaining. I tell dh that he doesn't listen and that I think he doesn't count what I tell him as important.
Pisses me right off.
It is like he lives in a world where there's the stuff that matters to him which he bothers to make an effort for then everything else is someone else's problem.

He forgot to take ds to an important appointment once - he was with ds he just fucking forgot even though he'd been reminded many times.

He is getting better but only after some serious talking and constant nagging

Baconyum · 11/02/2016 07:01

"Taking that appointment meant someone who needed one before work couldn't get one, so I'd say that was selfish too."

Yep! My gp tells off people who do this when there are other appointments available.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 07:29

He has gone to the docs now and has been constantly complaining about his neck. So what did he do to make himself feel better- he made himself a lemsip!!!!!!! A bloody lemsip for a sore neck. Hmm
I know what he is doing, the moaning and groaning is building up to him saying can you take DS to toddler group? can you take DS to the farm this afternoon? (promised DS an afternoon out)

I will just remind him how often I had to help him a few weeks ago when I had quinsy of the throat. I was ordered bed rest for two days but still had to come down for every meal and DS bedtime as all I could hear was him shouting at DS.

OP posts:
Silvercatowner · 11/02/2016 07:30

Don't take stars off a star chart, just don't put another star on the star chart.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 07:30

And of course when I came down the cricket or football was on and he was expecting DS to entertain himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 11/02/2016 07:31

I actually hate him at the moment.

OP posts:
nokidshere · 11/02/2016 07:32

I always book appointments in advance for the very early slots, usually 7am, even though I don't go out to work.

It's quick and simple, no traffic, no car park problems. I have plenty of things I should be doing during the day. Not working does not equal unlimited time to faff about, you will be wanting me to only go the post office at certain times of the day next Hmm

Pythonesque · 11/02/2016 07:37

Oh I have one of those too :( Really relate to the nap thing (although mine are older now).

Somehow they don't seem to be able to understand that when you work out what is needed, set up a routine, tell them what to do, that actually you might be right and there might be a really really good reason for what you are telling them to do. My husband had dinner with our 10 yr old after bringing him home last night. It was late but did he think to keep an eye on eating speed and keep him moving straight to bed once he was finished? You're kidding, right? So now this morning my son's so tired he's gone back to bed for half an hour before school instead of doing his music practice (he never sleeps in unless he's several days short of sleep).

Costacoffeeplease · 11/02/2016 07:39

I don't blame you - I think I hate him and I don't even know him

AlpacaMyThings · 11/02/2016 07:41

This could be my DH. We have teens and he still can't remember what's happening on a particular day, despite been reminded several times and having notes, diaries and calendars (paper and electronic) written up. He do try to remember but it just doesn't work.

Yet he can organise himself at home and he isn't like this at work Sad

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