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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think twins or multiples forces you to become organised?

28 replies

trashcanjunkie · 26/01/2016 00:06

Just musing... Mine are ds 2 and 3. They're eleven now. And I've realised I'm actually an organised person. This has come as quite a shock, as I never really realised. When I had my first ds, I was hopelessly slapdash and last minute, for years. I was talking with a colleague who confessed she's a last minute person, and it struck me that I'm definitely not any more.... I was thinking back to when that changed, and I realised it was after the babies.

So are any of you multiple parents any different, or does it turn us all into Stepford wives?

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goldglittershitter · 26/01/2016 00:23

I actually found to the contrary. Before my DTs were born I was organised way past the point of anally retentive, we're talking the first aid cabinet contents being catalogued alphabetically, cross referenced by regularity of use .... But I had the time to do so.

Now I just chuck everything in a drawer/box n hope for the best. Hell if it lands on the floor I only pick it up it's a danger. I am quite organised at appointments etc still but I just do not have enough time or energy to get anywhere near the level of organisation I would like in other areas!

DTs r only 3, u've 8 years on me so maybe I will rediscover the beauty that is extreme organisation when they r older?

Birdsgottafly · 26/01/2016 00:27

My eldest had/has ADHD and some LDs, I became organised for her.

When my youngest two were born 18 months apart, I had to be organised to function.

Later on I became a Carer for my DH and found that the more organised and tidy you are, the more you can get done.

I think it's good in busy times to focus on being organised/tidy, it does a lot for you mentally, as well as making your life easier.

Now my youngest is an adult, im a total procrastinator and wonder how I used to fit everything into my day.

I know families that haven't coped well with more than one child, so not everyone gets organised.

mammmamia · 26/01/2016 00:28

I think you are right. You can't wing it when you've got two babies / toddlers / primary aged children. You have to make sure you've got enough of absolutely everything in the house and out with you. You travel with loads of stuff like portable high chairs. You have everything ready for nursery / school the night before. You have a stocked present and card drawer for all their friends birthday parties. Etc etc
Mine are 5, I work full time, I have lots of lists and am super organised. I also stay up late at night Hmm

meiisme · 26/01/2016 08:12

You would think so, wouldn't you? My DT are 5 and although I am less running from one forgotten thing to the next than two years ago, I am not much further away from perpetual chaos. I have started to see the benefits of being organised, so maybe it's the next step. Sigh.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 26/01/2016 08:17

Based on my study of one family - no.

My DB & DSIL are the most disorganised people on the planet - and I'm pretty bad!

SweepTheHalls · 26/01/2016 08:20

I think having more than one child makes you be more organised, irrespective of if they are twins or siblings separated by age.

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 26/01/2016 23:28

Ah, I wouldn't know sweepthehalls, as I went from one to three! But I do know plenty of families with more than one child who are still hopelessly disorganised. I'm convinced there's something intrinsic in the having of two newborns that breaks the spirit. Grin and yes, I've definitely refined it as they got older. Past the 'car crash' years as I like to fondly remember them Hmm

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MissMarpleCat · 26/01/2016 23:49

When I first had my twins I lived by tick lists, after a while I just remembered stuff automatically. I would say my existence is one of organised chaos rather than just being organised chaos Grin

Pipestheghost · 26/01/2016 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pipestheghost · 26/01/2016 23:53

Sorry, wrong thread!

TitusAndromedon · 26/01/2016 23:56

I'm in the early days, as my twins are just nine weeks old, but it's definitely made me more organised and more efficient. I try hard to prepare things the night before to save time in the morning, and I use any moments of peace to run around and get things done. I actually like who I've become since having them. I feel productive and a bit more like a proper grown up.

toomuchtooold · 27/01/2016 06:18

I think it makes you be organised about anything that is for the kids. Far more twins parents IME are quite strict about naps, as it's hard to wing it when they're too big to nap on you, and as everything takes twice as long you need to know where you are in the routine to be able to e.g. book GP appointments.

Anything relating to adult life sort of goes down the pan for the first couple of years or until they start nursery or other childcare. So I suppose we look quite disorganized to other people. I remember being reassured by a support worker at a Sure Start centre that "we all find it hard sometimes" when she noticed I was wearing similarly coloured but mismatched socks. I was like don't worry, the socks are really not making me feel like a be mother Hmm

Bungleboggs · 27/01/2016 06:55

Yes, I have 4 year old twins. Life has to be organised or it wouldn't work. From day one I did 4 hourly feeds together so I could get some sleep. After 6 months they were going down 6-7 (with one bottle before I went to bed). And still having 12 hours now, means I can have my evening to clean,tidy organise the next day (and have a glass of wine). I'm also a lone parent and do this alone. I work 4 days a week which saves my sanity.

Dawndonnaagain · 27/01/2016 07:19

My twins are 19 now. They are dd 3 and 4. DS2 was 19 months when they were born, so yes, I became organised, very organised. Still am. It was about surviving the sea of nappies and feeds and ensuring DS1 still had some sort of quality time with me, and didn't miss out on his social activities. Even now everyone says if it's not on the fridge, it isn't happening! I'd never have thought of myself in my early twenties as a list person, but here I am!

medusasmirror · 27/01/2016 12:59

I was much more organized when twins were little. Especially when I had another one and had 3 children under 3yrs. As they have got older, things have slid. They are old enough to have some responsibility for getting their own stuff done i.e.: p.e kits, school bags, homework. Myself and O.H work shifts and I am sure if we were more organised then life would be smoother, we tend to be quite last minute about stuff and have been known to forget appointments.

GrumpyFucker · 27/01/2016 13:10

I was extremely organised before I had mine and when they were little, as I had to do everything for them and I had a reception aged DC to organise too. Routine, routine, routine! Now they are teens and I STILL have to organise them, I am rather organised out and am rebelling a bit!

In my defence I have never done the school run in PJs (apart from having to drive DTS1 to Saturday school FFS! last week as he got up too late to cycle, never got out of the car though) and I have only forgot one school meeting out of many for DTS2's SN but that was when DS3 was a baby.

mmmmmmmmmmcake · 27/01/2016 13:11

Yes being organised is a survival skill when you have children - I had 3 under 3.
I soon learnt that putting clothes, shoes out the night before is boring and only takes ten mins.
Not doing it means losing one shoe in the morning and then loosing your mind as when you are looking for it some ones cereal gets split, someone slips over on the split milk, everyone cries, a fight breaks out and it's only 8am.... 😁😊

whatevva · 27/01/2016 13:16

When mine were little, I could not survive without everything being prepared and ready.

Now they are adult, as above, I procrastinate Grin

I can't be organised unless I see a clear need for it. I think it is my brain protecting me from unnecessary stress Smile

MrsTedMosby · 27/01/2016 13:35

I've got 5 children, one set of twins.

Before I had children I was always hopelessly unorganised.

Since I've had children absolutely nothing has changed.

Luckily my kids (except my youngest) don't seem to take after me. They know what they need for the day and where to find it (well, apart from shoes every damn morning!)

If they bring home letters from school they always get lost and I have to ask for another. I'm bloody rubbish at organising anything.

slebmum1 · 27/01/2016 13:41

I was organised before if I needed to me, and when the twins were little I took it to new level.

Excel spreadsheets of feeds / nappy changes / medicines, routines on teh whiteboard in the kitchen, meals planned the night before etc. The nappy bag was always packed and ready to go, restocked as soon as we came in. IF we were going out I would prepare a couple of hours in advance but we got out and arrived on time.

I've calmed down a bit now:)

I still meal plan, when something runs out in the kitchen its written on the whiteboard so I don't forget to order it, uniform and work clothes are laid out the night before, book bags unpacked, eltters and invited dealt with straight away, as soon as they come in and left ready to go for the morning.

I don't do it because I want to be organised but because I want my life to be s easy as possible!

zzzzz · 27/01/2016 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wickedwitch1 · 27/01/2016 14:26

Four month old twins here. I'm attempting to run my life with military precision in the hope that one day it'll all fall into place and do it naturally. So far, so good.

It's all going to go wrong soon isn't it?

whatevva · 27/01/2016 14:43

When mine were that age, our life was run with military precision in order to make sure I got to bed on time Smile I had a (non-sleeping) toddler too.

Things keep changing, so what you have to organise and prepare in advance changes. Parents' Evenings at High School are the challenge that sticks in my mind the most Hmm.

Barring actual poonami, I am never late though I get everywhere too early Blush

MEgirl · 27/01/2016 16:41

Nope, not here. We had a sort of routing going when they were babies but now all I here is "mum, you forgot to tell us" or "mum, you forgot to do ....."

Original poster
trashcanjunkie · 27/01/2016 23:16

Aaah yes the good old poonami. I was a single parent too when the twins were born, and we live in a first floor flat, so I had forearms like Popeyes when my very fat babies got to nine/ten months old.

I vividly remember the worst poonami. Winter, heavy nine month babies all ready upstairs in their snow suits. Lifted twin one down to the pushchair, fastened him in, went back up for twin two, lugged him down, fastened him in. Smelled the poo. Noticed twin one now wearing what looked like a brown scarf .... No. It was the poo, right up the back of the neck. Unclipped him, back upstairs, entire change including snow suit. Back downstairs, clipped into buggy..... Sniffed again.... Yep, you guessed! Repeat whole thing with twin two.....I could have cried.

They also managed to have inguinal hernias together at seven weeks.... Already in hospital, waiting for surgery on twin two, and as I change nappy of twin one, I asked the nurse if I was seeing things.... 'Nope, that's another hernia, we'll prep the consultant'

They aren't even identical! Just coincidence.

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