to leave kids alone while I load/unload the car?

[BoringlyRestrictive]

About to become a single mum to a 3 yr dd and 16 month DS.

I live on the 9th floor of a tower block and trying to do stuff like unloading shopping, loading up the car etc is going to be seriously tricky.

I have worked out that it takes 30 seconds for the lift to go down/up.
If I have to wait for the lift that could be another 30 seconds.
Car is parked close by front of building.
In total I would be gone from the flat for say 5 minutes.
Is that too long?

I would strap both DC into their high chairs and, of course, lock the door.
Is it really bad?
Once h is gone I will have no one to help out with these things and suddenly the simplest things are looking quite complicated.

If I have to take DC down to the car to put in bags for an overnight trip or whatever reason it could mean several trips, dragging them both up and down.

I feel ok about it. But I wonder if that is my wishful thinking.

I'd probably take them in first and come back down for the shopping/stuff.

I'd leave them in the flat safe rather then in the car. I'm sure they'd be fine in the car but I wouldn't want nosey neighbours tutting about me.

You could also load up the pushchair ect ect.

Yes, put them in the flat first and then go down.

Now is the time to become very helpful and nice to your neighbours- always good to foster good relationships so that you can rely on each other.

I'd second the comment about getting to know your neighbours. It was a godsend for me when I was living alone with two small children.

Could stick the tv on while you're gone, that should keep the 3year old occupied.

If you go down with the kids and the pushchair could you hang all the bags over it and therefore do it in one journey?
Or, get one of those trolley things that you could load up with the bags to do it all in 1 journey.

Also could you do online shopping for big shops, and would they deliver up to your flat?

Don't put them in the high chair. By all means put them in a cot or pushchair, my life at 18 months could have tipped over her high chair, at 3 she could climb out.

I wouldn't leave them in their highchairs, though - just in case they are rocking about and over-turn them: pushchairs might be better. Otherwise, in the absence of help, it's probably better to leave them in the flat than in the car.

I do some online shopping but I really dislike ordering fresh food that way. Which of course isn't enough to need both hands for anyway!

For example, a friend often takes me to Costco with her. Their giant multipacks of loo roll is too big to manage with a buggy and toddler.

I never meant to indicate leaving them in the car! No, not at all.
I would take them up and strap in, tv on and then go back if needed.

It feels like a grey area cos if u have a house then fine, pop out the front door to your car no big deal at all. You can still hear, maybe see the kids but up 9 floors and being gone 5 mins feels like leaving them alone... Does that make sense
I'm aware this is likely to be the least of my single parenting nightmares but it's the one that worries me the most so far!!

• lo not life !!

Sorry, yes I can get deliveries to the flat but rarely manage to fill the £40 basket limit (am on a Tesco saver plan) and don't want to spend the extra £4 penalty if it's under £40.

Never occurred to me they would rock. I think they would be hard pressed to rock these high chairs over!!

I had a travel cot in the living room for situations like this when I wanted to be left alone for half an hour

I would leave the younger one in the cot and take the bigger one to "help", so far at 3 mine have all been too much of a risk for rocking/climbing.

Although only if the lift in your flat reliable. When my twins were little I used to have to leave them strapped in their car seats (in view) while I ran back and forth to the lift doors with the shopping. Then bring them in, call the lift, pile everything/everyone into the lift while having my foot in the sensor to stop the door opening and then doing the same at the other end to the door. We were stuck in the lift on a weekly basis and it was so unreliable that I couldn't have risked it.

Wait till they are asleep in bed, then carry up costo stuff

Also for fresh stuff from shopping trips consider a shopping trolley. I know they are a bit granny-ish, but they make things much easier as you can get several bags of shopping in them.

Take fridge & frozen stuff up and do the rest when they're asleep.

Or just order online! The late night slots are often only £1.

I can only speak from my own concerns if it were me and my dc but I couldn't do it. What if the lift got stuck or something unexpected happened in the house while you were gone? I would in no way judge you if you did do it but if I were in your shoes I think I'd be looking for ways to do it without leaving them, pull along trolley loaded with the cold/ frozen stuff that needs to go up first before they get out then later a trip back for the rest? With both walking and holding hands etc? Lots of sturdy bags to put on pram handles? I'm not saying I wouldn't do it as such, just that I'd try other ways first.

I used to wait until DS was asleep and unload the shopping at night when he was tiny and I was on my own.

Don't leave them in high chairs! My 16month old can get out of hers. Leave them safe as you can on the floor then do it.

I couldn't do it either. I'd be too worried about something happening eg a fire which meant getting back up to the 9th floor would either be impossible or take too long.

Can you do it in stages somehow? I have 40 steps between my house and car so I take ds in his car seat or pram down to the first landing then relay the shopping down... Then go to the next landing... It's a laborious process but I am never out of sight of ds that way.

I would always have a pushchair in the car and load that up with bags keeping the two kids with you. At their ages I wouldn't leave them alone

Do you have a pram that you could use to put all your shopping in? A carrycot style from when they were younger? Or buy one of the pull along shopping things. You'd just need to herd them both along and into the lift. Surely if your friend is taking you to Costco she can help you up?

I wouldn't leave them in the car I did it once (we lived in a ground floor flat) walked in put the shopping down got back to the car which really didn't take more than 2mins and a police lady who had walked out the building next to ours had a real go at me for it. From then on I always took them them inside before emptying the car.

Backpack with bungee cords plus two wheeled shopping pull along. You will look like a Sherpa but better than leaving them alone.

Couldn't you unload the shopping into the building entrance whilst the kids are strapped in the car, (leaving them for all of 30 seconds alone) then go back and get them. then load up the lift with the shopping and then yourselves, (in one go) ride up, unload the kids from lift first then the shopping (before it goes back down)