to leave kids alone while I load/unload the car?

[BoringlyRestrictive]

About to become a single mum to a 3 yr dd and 16 month DS.

I live on the 9th floor of a tower block and trying to do stuff like unloading shopping, loading up the car etc is going to be seriously tricky.

I have worked out that it takes 30 seconds for the lift to go down/up.
If I have to wait for the lift that could be another 30 seconds.
Car is parked close by front of building.
In total I would be gone from the flat for say 5 minutes.
Is that too long?

I would strap both DC into their high chairs and, of course, lock the door.
Is it really bad?
Once h is gone I will have no one to help out with these things and suddenly the simplest things are looking quite complicated.

If I have to take DC down to the car to put in bags for an overnight trip or whatever reason it could mean several trips, dragging them both up and down.

I feel ok about it. But I wonder if that is my wishful thinking.

[Soooosie]

Yes there must be other people in the same situation. Join forces!

[mathanxiety]

You will kill your back trying to carry babies and shopping, or pull/push trolley and buggy. You may not notice it immediately but twenty years from now you will really, really regret it. And managing a 3 yo even on reins while you are acting the camel will be difficult.

I think the simplest solution is for you and your friend to alternate baby/child watching. It will take longer for you both to be present at each others' homes at the end of the shopping trip but I think that is the price to pay for peace of mind here.

[HPsauciness]

Online shopping is waaaay more expensive than going to Lidl or Aldi. If money is not an issue, online shopping is a solution, but if money is tight, money is tight and I don't think some of these solutions are realistic. What did mums do living in tower blocks before online shopping?!

[rudolphistheboss]

Xpost with Oriunda !

[rudolphistheboss]

Could you invest in a baby carrier? I have a Tula for my 14 month old 91st centile height and weight boy. I put him on my back in the carrier. Give my 3yo DD the bag with bread and rice (anything light) as she loves to be grown up and help. Everything else I carry. Those trolleys look like a good idea!

[Oriunda]

The 3yr old could help or walk with you - you could pop the little one into a carrier on your back? I still carry my nearly 4yr old when I need to (especially when lugging suitcases through airports).

[GreatFuckability]

this thread is starting to remind of that episode of friends '...then the baby and bird, still ablaze are locked in a death swirl...'

[Thisismyfirsttime]

I wouldn't leave them with a snack at all, ever. What if one of them started choking?

[BoringlyRestrictive]

As it stands currently with STBXH still living here I simply wait til he is home and then I can go get the shopping easily without worry. So this wasn't a 'single mum troubles' thread.

I will definitely look at a trolley or something like that. That seems obvious.
And tbf friend usually does wait if I have big stuff and we are using her car. But we alternate cars to share the petrol cost and when I use my car I drop her off and watch her kids while she takes her stuff in. She only loves on the ground floor so it takes a second. I guess I could ask her to come back to mine then and drive her home again... Seems a faff and feels wrong somehow.....

I hadn't considered doing it when STBXH has them. Probably as I can see it being quite a long time until he does have them for a reasonable period of time and away from here. I know he is going to want to visit them here and for an hour or so and I wouldn't feel that comfortable leaving tbh.

Thanks for opinions.
My building has 2 lifts. 1 for even for numbers and 1 for odd. So the chances of the both breaking down are slim. But yes, it is nerve wrecking to think what if something sparks and I get back to a fire or they are hurt or scared etc.
Probably not worth it

[GreatFuckability]

Wouldnt even occur to me to worry about it tbh. Id just get them set up with snack and telly and go get your shopping in.

[RoganJosh]

If you go to Costco, could you ask your friend to wait while you take stuff up?
Otherwise I would get it all delivered.
Or, put younger in sling (does buggy not fit in lift? I missed that) and just carry stuff up that needs refrigeration. Come back down for rest or get it delivered in bulk.
Get wrist strap for three yr old if necessary.

[Geekmama]

You could get one of these foldable wagons and take all the shopping and the kids up at once. But I suppose that depends on The size of your lift. www.argos.co.uk/m/static/Product/partNumber/4237783.htm?CMPID=GS001&_$ja=tsid:59156%7Ccid:189949525%7Cagid:18074417725%7Ctid:pla-135344156245%7Ccrid:77627774245%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:17499995651534548135%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:1o6&gclid=CjwKEAiAws20BRCs-P-ssLbSlg4SJABbVcDpTgLc7qyL10k0Y17VJ1LtQdk-TwqttrLHDJV_NlvUbBoC8qXw_wcB

[Frazzled2207]

Can you do fortnightly or monthly big online shop then do smaller more regular shop trips?

[Frazzled2207]

I wouldn't leave baby in highchair- put him in cot or pen. However I would trust my nearly 3yo to be glued to the tv in this kind of situation.

[ulasesra]

it's really not easy..

I have a 2.5 years old son and dh is abroad right now for a couple months. i also live in 9th floor. I prefer online shopping most of the time which is better for the peace of my mind, though I can't select the fresh foods myself... I understand you, but I wouldn't leave them alone...

[knobblyknee]

We've all had to do it. You are being sensible about it.

I dont know if this helps, but would a trolley work? I mean the sensible packing case trolley, you can fold them down and they take loads. They are £20 to £30.

The 3 yo can walk on reins, the baby is in the buggy, pull the trolley. (or push the trolley and pull the buggy)

[Singsongsungagain]

I wouldn't leave children that age alone anywhere and I'm a bit that anyone is saying it'll be fine. I think you need to live with ordering fresh stuff online- it'll be far better to do that than to risk your children's safety surely? That way your order will be bigger and you can get it delivered. I agree with the pp who suggested you do jobs such as this when your children are at your STBXH, assuming there is an access plan.

[unimaginativename13]

If your not even spending £40 in shopping then you should be able to manage between you and the 3 year old?

I'm sure lots of people have this issue not just single mums because most husbands aren't there 24/7!

I have a baby and know how hard it is as my car isn't parked outside my house. I always leave baby inside.

Maybe look at your shopping habits. Could you do your main shop online when you need £40 worth of stuff , then have a shopping bag and top up what you need?

Would the friend buy you the toilet roll and drop it round for you if you explained ?

[mathanxiety]

I used to have a situation like that but with outside stairs and to the second floor, no lift.

I brought the DCs upstairs first, turned on the TV and plonked them there with a snack. Toddler of the day got put in the crib with some toys, and maybe a juicebox. Baby was left strapped into the baby carseat but in the kitchen so I could see him or her every time I came up with bags, and any older children were supposed to sit tight on the couch.

When DS was born DD1 was 3, so this was our routine minus the toddler. When DD2 was born DD1 was 5 and DS was 2, so he got plonked in the crib and DD2 was left in the kitchen, with DD1 enjoying Sesame Street or whatever, plus a few cookies. Sometimes I left DD1 colouring, etc., but the tv was on so she could predict when I would be back and not get worried -- before the next programme started, etc.

I usually had about ten bags of groceries to carry up, and made two trips, sometimes three. Two trips was hard on my arms.

I also had to take laundry out and down the stairs to the basement every few days, so I did the same then with the DCs. I had one trip down with the huge basket, whites in one machine and colours in the other, then back up empty, then down again 40 minutes later to load up the dryers, then back down an hour later to carry everything back up again. Sometimes when I went down I would find others were using the washing machines so I would dump my big basket and try again half an hour later. Twas a pita. I hated the stairs in the winter when they were icy. It was probably really dangerous for me to be carrying babies and toddlers while pregnant up and down those stairs in winter.

I really wouldn't worry as long as you keep the door locked and the littlest ones securely strapped in or contained.

[chrome100]

Just leave them strapped in to their pushchair in the flat. Nothing will happen. It'll be fine.

[Soooosie]

I'd worry about being so far from them. If you were in ear shot and able to keep popping your head round the corner it would be different.

[becksblue]

*not being able to see/hear

[becksblue]

For me it's not the time you are away, you could easily be in another room for that length of time, it's the distance I'd worry about. But being able to see/hear. Also pp mentioned things like lifts breaking down. No matter how unlikely just not worth the risk in my opinion.

I've had really positive experiences with online shopping re fresh food.

You have my complete sympathy though op, it's a tricky situation. Hope you find a solution you are comfortable with

[PennyHasNoSurname]

Could you plan the Big Shop for when STBXH has the kids? Then just do milk/bread top.up.shops with them so much easier.

[Dobinette]

Please don't leave them on their own, OP. They are so young and will be out of sight AND earshot.

Also, other posters have said, if there was a problem with the lift and you were delayed, then they could be in danger and they would be locked in the flat, unbeknown to anyone!

Much better to take the children up first and ask a neighbour to watch them for 5 min.