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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit sad that we are in a small flat

52 replies

Margaritte · 10/01/2016 20:14

I feel envious of those around me who have a room per child, plus a dining room/ utility room/ spare room. Blush
We have a tiny kitchen & small bathroom, plus our lounge is an ok size, though has our dining table in here.
I'd love a garden, so we can eat out there in the summer, and the dc have somewhere to run around in. Its not possible for us for the foreseeable future though, so I do feel a bit down about it sometimes.
The flat does feel like home, its just constantly overflowing, as anything that comes out makes the place look a mess. Im in the process of KonMari, as recommended on here months ago.
Just looking for people who have been in the same situation, and how it worked for them.

OP posts:
chanie44 · 10/01/2016 20:30

I don't have any advice, but all I can say is that you aren't the only person in this situation. I know lots of people who feel the same and aren't in a position to do anything about it.

Our neighbours have 4 children in 1 (big) bedroom and SIL has a 9 year old boy and 6 year old girl sharing without much hope of being rehoused.

AliensInUnderpants12 · 10/01/2016 20:37

If it's any comfort we are in a 2 bedroom flat with DS and DD...hoping to move in a few years (everything crossed)!

I think the hardest thing is not having much storage space.

vanillalavender · 10/01/2016 20:47

I sympathise, though I bet you'll get posts saying that they are in a one bedroomed flat with ten children and it's fine!

SaucyJack · 10/01/2016 20:51

YANBU. I find not having a garden the worst tho.

If we had a choice of an extra bedroom or a garden, I'd take the garden any day of the week.

Jibberjabberjooo · 10/01/2016 20:52

We had a tiny flat when we first had DS, our living room and kitchen were just one room. We've moved three times in three years to get the house we will now stay in forever. We got there eventually and so will you.

Ubik1 · 10/01/2016 20:52

Yes I know.

My flat is large but still I envy people with gardens and garages and utility areas and porches.

We have a lot of fitted storage and have built high beds for the kids as we have 17 ft ceilings.

But sometime I am going mad with stuff like where to put towels, wellies, Christmas decs, washing. We have shelves everywhere.

It's cosy though and millions live like this all over the world

LalaLeona · 10/01/2016 20:55

I know how you feel lived in a small second floor flat with no garden for years with a newborn and was there for a further 7 years, its so hard keeping it organised I remember, it's like doing a jigsaw puzzle, constantly moving one thing so another can fit there! No advice really just de clutter as much as you can, have regular clear outs, and in the Summer when you are missing a garden, try and visit parks with paddling pools if poss. I used to take a small paddling pool to my mums garden and hang out there sometimes. It's not easy but don't get down you never know when your circumstances will change suddenly, maybe one day you will be able to move in the mean time just try to stay positive.

Woodenmouse · 10/01/2016 20:57

I live with Dh, Ds and expecting our second in 7 weeks, we have a 2 bed house with a small living/dining room. We do have a small garden but it isnt suitable for a toddler and we aren't allowed to do anything to it. We are desperately trying to save to buy our own place but it isn't going to happen any time soon. It's difficult but we just have to make do!

sillyoldfool · 10/01/2016 21:00

We're in a two bed flat with three children. We are lucky that we have a garden now though, didn't until recently and it's made a big difference. We have no space for a dining table though, we squeeze around the breakfast bar to eat.
I'd love one extra little bedroom for dd1 and a dining room. It would be amazing.
But we can only afford this because the landlady doesn't charge as much as she could, we'll have to move 100's of miles in the next few years in order to get somewhere suitable.

x2boys · 10/01/2016 21:06

I lived in a two bed flat with two kids and no storage it was the lack of storage that depressed me just piles of stuff everywhere a communal garden but it never felt like mine , I owned that flat anyway after some financial difficulty we are now in a two bed council house but I have loads of storage I also have my own garden which is small but at least it's ours .

eastwest · 10/01/2016 21:10

YANBu. We are in a small 2 bed flat and it takes a toll on my mood daily. The worst thing is not being able to have people around, other children for playdates, not being able to do things like sew or bake that take up a lot of space, not being able to seat the three of us at a single table for meals (we have the smallest possible 2 person table).
we are lucky that we do have the possibility of moving, but have been trying for about a year with no success.

Geraniumred · 10/01/2016 21:14

We have lived in a tiny house for over 10 years. Tiny mortgage too. It can be hard - two small bedrooms and a box room. Two rooms downstairs and very little storage space, no garage. It is the practical things - nowhere to dry clothes or put muddy shoes that's frustrating. We only have one child. We have clutter and hobbies and are constantly tidying. But the mortgage will be gone in a few years and the location is fab. One day I will have a utility room though.

PennyHasNoSurname · 10/01/2016 21:20

We live in a small flat too. Me, dh and 15mo ds in the main bedroom, 4yo in her own room. Too scared to put ds in with her as she sleeps so so well. Also there isnt masses of room for them both in there

Living room is housing all toys too and the dining table. Up until recently it also had the fridge freezer in there. Short galley kitchen and a bathroom squeezed in what once upon a time would have been the larder.

Desperate is not the word for how much we want to move! We cannot sell it with the bathroom in its current state so we will be here another year while we save for the work.

yanbu

PennyHasNoSurname · 10/01/2016 21:20

I live vicariously through a series of Pinterest boards!

MrsPresley · 10/01/2016 21:22

I've got a 3 bedroom flat. It was a bit awkward when I had all 4 DC at home, but 2 have moved out/married so DS and DD have their own rooms now.

I'm quite lucky to have lots of storage but that also means I keep a load of rubbish Grin so I've been de-cluttering since new year!

I'm not envious of people with gardens, I've never wanted one and I do have a shared drying area out the back, which is great in the summer and I just dry washing indoors when I have to.

The only thing I would like is a bigger kitchen, mine is small, enough storage space but not enough space for dishing up meals, baking etc so I'm always moving things around.

Sitting rooms a decent size and I've got a dining table, which extends so can seat 6 if needed, but there's usually just 3 or 4 of us.

GwenethPaltrowIamnot · 10/01/2016 21:23

Oh god , I remember being in a tiny two up two down , no where to move or store anything . We worked as hard as we could and now have the house of our dreams . It's not massive but it's big enough for us
Keep going , it can happen

BabyGanoush · 10/01/2016 21:24

It is especially hard at this time of year.

When we lived in a flat, it was fine if the weather was nice, we just lived in the park/lido/green/beach at weekends

A wet January weekend with kids in a small flat is hard. It gets so messy.

educatingarti · 10/01/2016 21:24

I can understand how you feel op. I'm alone in quite a large flat so don't have this problem although my previous flat was tiny. I just wanted to say that doing konmarie has really helped me to feel like I need less space than I did, so hopefully it will help you too!

BrandNewAndImproved · 10/01/2016 21:27

It's crap isn't it.

I have given up my bedroom so dc can each have their own room as they were getting on top of each other plus the older one has started puberty and needed her own space away from her db. I'd love a house with a garden and decking and a hot tub.

I live in a council flat, I could privately rent a house but then I'd be in a crap position with no secure long term tenancy.

bedunkalilt · 10/01/2016 21:27

YANBU. I sympathise (or empathise?!).

We're in a 2 bed flat. It's a bit bigger than other 2 beds in the area so in that sense it's good, but it's not what I would want. Very small kitchen, limited appliances, and all part of living room space (which is also used for dining and desk and some toys so it's a busy room!). Bedrooms are alright sizes but DCs (3yo and 1yo) can't share as eldest needs own room for health reasons - unforeseeable when we moved in - so youngest is in with us, which we can manage at the moment but would really like to have our own space again! No outdoor space and there are stairs to our property, no lift, which is difficult with DCs and health problems.

We have to cook in such a way that we can just use the available limited work space, not use too many implements as no space for dishwasher so all hand washed, and no space for regular fridge freezer so it's a compact one, meaning limited storage space for fresh or frozen food and leftovers. I want to enter on the ground floor. A garden sounds like an amazing luxury, somewhere to hang clothes, kids can occasionally run about, sit out with my coffee!

I have neighbours living in the exact same size and layout however and I don't know how they do it - a couple with 2 teen DCs and a 4yo. I have no idea how they fit in Confused but they seem to like it here, they've been here years and years, since before teens were born.

Rents here are crazy. Our LL is really nice and won't be putting rent up until next year, which will be 3 years after moving in so rent fixed for 3 years. But we cannot afford any more anyway so we have a year to work something out!

HairySubject · 10/01/2016 21:27

I feel your pain, we have 3 dc in a two bed house, luckily the front room is big enough to separate with wardrobes and a thick long curtain so dd has privacy.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 10/01/2016 21:28

Can I up the stakes here?

Me and my 3 dc were made homeless 13 months ago. We've been at my parents ever since. My brother also lives here. There are 7 of us in a two bed flat.

It's shit. Everyone is miserable and my kids are suffering. I have two charities on board, both schools, mental health professionals, etc but we are having a hell of a time getting housed by the council.

We just keep plugging along and I keep bidding on houses/flats. I'm almost at the top of the list now but yes, it's very hard work.

Ubik1 · 10/01/2016 21:32

Sorry to hear that lilac (great name) it must be really stressful.
I hope you get some space of your own with your DCs soon. It's appalling you are having to wait so long.

Puts my whining fir a utility room in perspective Smile

fakenamefornow · 10/01/2016 21:34

Where about are you lilac?

LilacSpunkMonkey · 10/01/2016 21:37

I'd rather not say where I am tbh because it could out me.