To feel a bit sad that we are in a small flat

[Margaritte]

I feel envious of those around me who have a room per child, plus a dining room/ utility room/ spare room.
We have a tiny kitchen & small bathroom, plus our lounge is an ok size, though has our dining table in here.
I'd love a garden, so we can eat out there in the summer, and the dc have somewhere to run around in. Its not possible for us for the foreseeable future though, so I do feel a bit down about it sometimes.
The flat does feel like home, its just constantly overflowing, as anything that comes out makes the place look a mess. Im in the process of KonMari, as recommended on here months ago.
Just looking for people who have been in the same situation, and how it worked for them.

Lilac that's horrific :( Hope you get somewhere soon.

Thanks for all the replies. It does get a bit crowded in here sometimes, there are 5 of us.
Lilac, I'm sorry for the situation you're in - I hope it gets better soon, and you manage to get a place.

I live in a one bedroom flat with my 2.5 year old,
We get on grand most the time but I wouldn't say no to more space.
Have our own front door which is a bonus & large garden but to be honest my neighbour's are idiots, one let's his dog out in it all the time so we just go out & about & avoid the garden.
Guess I'm lucky we live in a nice area with a beach & woods nearby or I would maybe feel differently.

I also gave 3DC. Sometimes I feel
Like every time I turn around a child is standing there. But we love the area, good schools. A garden would be great but we would have to be lottery winners to afford one round here.

Sorry to hear that Lilac. I hope one of your bids comes through.

We were in a small flat for years. Three kids in one bedroom, small kitchen with no window. It did get me down sometimes as it was hard having people round and we were constantly rearranging storage, going to IKEA to look for another storage option. There was always lego in my bed. The area was fab though, which made a big difference.

In the end we got fed up with it but had to move to a different area to be be able to afford more space. I do think a smaller home with lower rent/mortgage is preferable to loads of debt for extra space. But appreciate that lots of people are paying a fortune to rent somewhere tiny.

We're presently living in a tiny cottage with a miniscule back yard, that was fine when it was just me and a baby, but now it's me, a 6 year old, another baby and a huge XP who's sitting around in the living room on his tablet at all hours co parenting, so round all the time.

And......I have just been offered a new build HA house. Feel like I'm floating on air . It's got a hall, to hang coats in, FGS. A kitchen with room for 2 people to pass each other. A garden, with a shed in, so I can clear all the outside stuff out of the back of my car. DS1 can have friends round, without murder being committed (by me, probably).

All these things that so many people on MN take for granted (although not on this thread, obviously). I feel so, so, lucky- but, as friends have pointed out, I shouldn't. This kind of housing should be available to any family that needs it.

It won't be long, lilac

Oh no lilac I hope they can sort something soon

Have you tried getting in touch with a local councillor or MP? They are normally good at getting local councils to get moving!

I used to live in a flat which was tiny, just a shared outdoor dog run space
Then moved somewhere three times the size with a big garden.
I miss that wee flat. Our situation in this house (rented) is extremely favourable, but when we need to move I'm def going much smaller.
Outdoor space only really nice when low maintenance. Like AstroTurf.
Not that I've spent hours dreaming of this future life....

That's lovely Stubborn.

Thanks everyone. It helps when you have people working with you. My charity people and the kids schools have been fantastic.

It's a testament to the strong relationship between me and my kids that we're holding it together as well as we are but the longevity of the situation is damaging my relationship with my parents who seem reluctant to let me parent my children and are constantly stepping in and taking over. I'm 42, ffs, and have been a parent for 14 years now but they won't listen when I ask them to back off.

There's a very long thread waiting to be written about all of this but at the moment I don't have it in me to get into it all. When we're finally settled somewhere I suspect I'll be visiting Relationships for advice on how to salvage things.

We (me, DH, DD, DS) lived in a tiny two-up two-down terrace, with just enough outside space for the bins.

I totally emphasise with the poster who said that every time they turned round there seemed to be a child there.

We've since managed to move somewhere bigger. However, the DC (aged 11 and 9) still seem to be there when I turn around. Even with extra space they don't want to be on their own...

The best thing about our current house is the kitchen - I love having more than a postage stamp sized work surface. It makes cooking so much easier.

OP I feel your pain. My 16 month old sleeps in a cot next to our bed. I really want another child but there is no way we can in this flat. We also live on the 4th floor and there is no lift, and no where to leave a buggy downstairs so getting up and down is getting harder and harder as DD gets bigger.

I long for just a tiny bit more space. We've constantly got washing out in the kitchen. DP and I have arguments over him refusing to clear a single shlfd of stuff he hasn't used for a while, as that single shelf is really needed. I totally know that overflowing feeling you describe.

We're currently renting an ok sized two bed flat with a toddler and considering buying a slightly smaller one (mainly bedroom two and no built in wardrobe). Places in our budget don't come up often here, but I am worried we could be stuck there with two much older children if we decide to have more. Its the only way we can get on the ladder though. I'm guessing we'll cope by getting rid of an awful lot of stuff and taking a trip to ikea.

We live in a 3-bed flat, with one room for living/kitchen/eating/hallway. It's suffocating at this time of year when the DC don't want to go out because it involves walking or catching the bus in the bad weather! There is a communal garden that opens straight out onto the road (garden is a bit generous, it's a small 3m^2 bit of land between the house and pathway past the house. The balcony opens out onto the roof which DD attempts to climb on to and is too hot to use in summer. It looks constantly messy, even if it isn't really, because you see everything in the room, including the toys, at one glance!

Yes, just got back in from the school run, and the place seems overflowing, just from the breakfast things on the table.

And yes BabyGanoush, the winter months are the worse, in one way. However summer is when I long for a garden too.
Any tips for surviving the cold January, in a tiny flat?

I used to try and get out anywhere I could, soft play cinema shopping mall etc! If stuck indoors then cooking/crafts. Then you have all the mess to deal with though I know. Not very good advice just wanted to sympathise! Remember what it's like!!

We're in a one-bed. It's fine for us, but we're getting married next year and want to start a family, but I'm not keen on having a toddler in a one-bed!

Unfortunately, to get anything bigger would cost us at least £150 more/month and we just can't afford it at the moment. It sucks.

I'm in a similar situation. I'm in a two bedroom flat. Tiny, but I have pretty good storage so it tends not to look cluttered or small. I'm wondering whether to have a second child or have a larger place. Sad because it seems to be an either/or situation. We couldn't afford both.

Annoyingly, I loaned a woman who was a very good friend five grand a few years ago. It came out of our house savings. Turned out she had a secret cocaine habit and blew it all up her nose. Went bankrupt, never paid it back, lost her private rented house but is now in a lovely two bedroom house with garden. Glad she's cleaned up her act but it's really not fair that she's made so many mistakes and ended up in a better position than me, who is still working more hours to keep a tiny flat together

ahh, lilac, you have made a thread full of people feel a lot better about where they live. that is an achievement! shame you have to put up with crap circumstances to do that though.

I also live in a two bed with two children. it is quite big. (600+feet square) for a flat. a lot of the new flats are tinier, and weirdly more expensive.

I would like our own garden. we use mum's in summer but that is over 100 mile round trip so not that often!

the kids share a room. there is not enough storage and I am in diy hell doing the bloody place up still over a decade after starting. two children with additional needs slow the whole thing down a lot.

There really is a housing crisis.
When I moved to my current location in 2007 there was various accommodation.
This year, there's hardly anything and the rents are absolutely ridiculous even for below standard flats.

My friend is being evicted for the second time in a year, with two DC, housing benefit top up (lone working parent) and cannot find a single LL who can accommodate HB.

I know of a family of 4, single dad in a 1 bedroom flat, oldest DC 14, the children are literally growing up while he waits for a move.
This is in SE25.

I feel sad for everyone experiencing overcrowded unsuitable housing.

It's going to get worse under this gov't. There is nothing left, in every sense of the word.

I thought it would be lovely to be out of a flat and have a house with a garden but now we have one dh won't sit in it as he complains of hey fever, kids aren't fussed unless I chuck them out, even the cats wont go outside and I'm th free only one who does the gardening.

I sympathise, op. Dh and I currently have a 2 year old in a one bed flat. We are very squashed.

So many people in the same situation. We are constantly having to move furniture around, clear out, rearrange stuffed in cupboards.

We're in a two bed flat with 2dc. We live in an expensive city and know lots of people in the same boat, it feels normal to me. I wouldn't say no to more space, but I'm not prepared to move out of town to get it. I am brutal about decluttering and we make good use of local parks and soft play. We hope to convert our loft in a year or so to get an extra bedroom (we have one dd and one ds so they will eventually need their own rooms).

I know how it feels. My husband and I are in a 1 bed place and probably going to have to switch to a studio flat as our current flat is making me I'll and our landlords don't care. The galling thing is we will probably pay the same, or more, as rents have gone up so much lately, so we can't even save more. I find looking at websites like apartmenttherapy.com and tinyasshouse helps - plus thinking of all the nice little touches that make any space home eg strings of fairy lights, nice pictures on the walls... That and storing our spare crap treasures at his parents house!