Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your 'what a cheek' stories?

53 replies

Vixxfacee · 09/01/2016 19:50

It was my 30th birthday a few weeks ago. My friend told me that she had a card and some money to give to me as a gift. I haven't been able to hers until now.

I went there today and she handed me my card. Which was already opened. She then said sorry I took your birthday money out to lend to my mum. If you give me your bank details I will transfer next week.

Aibu unreasonable to think this was cheeky?

Anyone else have any what a cheek stories?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 09/01/2016 20:00

Depends on how close a friend you are and what was the reason for her Mum needing the money etc.

SpecialLittleLady · 09/01/2016 20:07

I'm not sure of their circumstances so wouldn't like to comment but I can imagine that she must have been pretty desperate to take it.

theycallmemellojello · 09/01/2016 20:08

No I wouldn't say that sounds cheeky at all. Sounds like she is very short of money but still wants to give some away to you. Be glad that you have such a generous friend (and there's no way if accept a cash gift from a friendif I knew money was so tight).

MoMoTy · 09/01/2016 20:10

I don't think that's cheeky at all. She's kind enough to want to give you more than a card and is still willing to transfer it to you. I think you are the cheeky one for finding that cheeky.

expatinscotland · 09/01/2016 20:10

She sounds utterly brassic. I would tell her to forget about the cash.

Howdoesironmanwee · 09/01/2016 20:11

Well, I'd think it was very weird to receive a cash gift from a friend. Me and dh feel uncomfortable when sil gives us cash as part of a present.
If not a personal gift, then booze, but nevery cash.

JamNittyGrittyAndHedrin · 09/01/2016 20:13

Umm, if a friend said that to me I'd tell her not to worry about the money and to make sure her mum was OK.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 09/01/2016 20:17

Her mum needed to borrow some cash, your friend probably didn't know when she would see you next, it makes sense that she lent it to her mum rather than watch her struggle.

I think I would also tell your friend not to bother giving you cash since things are so tight.

Esmeismyhero · 09/01/2016 20:26

Well that backfired vixx, I agree with pp.

katiekid · 09/01/2016 20:27

no because she didnt have to get you anything, she obviously short of money.

My story is my close friend needed help with moving, i said i will help her and drove to get her then back to her new home, it was around 30 miles. I didnt ask for petrol money as it was a favor however when we went to get kfc, i ordered my food and so did she, she then said to me "thanks for the food" expecting me to pay.
I just drove her around london to move, she could of paid for my food or not but to expect me to pay for hers after i just did that?!

anyway i have been reluctant to be around her now. Dont appreciate these types of things.

HairySubject · 09/01/2016 20:29

Yep I agree with the rest, decline the cash and if she tries to insist suggest she cooks you dinner and share a bottle of wine instead. I would much prefer that to a cash gift.

Howdoesironmanwee · 09/01/2016 20:30

So, out of interest, did you give her your details for a bank transfer?
I really, realy, hope not.

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 09/01/2016 20:33

So did you give her your bank details? Shock
I'd have asked her not to worry.
It is a bit cringy when friends/relatives who aren't your parents give you money. As a pp says, this is when booze is an option

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 09/01/2016 20:33

X post how

sleeponeday · 09/01/2016 20:39

I'm sorry, but if she's not an important enough friend to see for a few weeks, then I think it's lovely she is giving you more than a card. She didn't see you for a while, the money was just sitting there, her mother needed it. And she still intends to give you money she does not owe you to begin with, which is really nice of her.

I think complaining about this is decidedly cheeky, actually.

nanodragon · 09/01/2016 20:41

I think that she was being honest and don't understand why this was a "cheek". I would be more altruistic - I hope

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 09/01/2016 20:43

FFS what your friend did wasn't cheeky! Hmm Cheeky would be if she asked you to lend her some cash so she could buy you a present.

Unless you seriously think she should have refused to help her mother out financially because the money was earmarked for you?

I hope you thanked her for the card and told her you wouldn't be giving her your bank details as the card was gift enough.

Original poster
Vixxfacee · 09/01/2016 20:46

I did not give bank details! I wouldn't.

OP posts:
Coconutty · 09/01/2016 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

calzone · 09/01/2016 20:57

My 'what a cheek' tale was on NYD.....We had arranged a walk with some friends and invited them back for lunch. I did invitations and everything......one of the couples invited more people, didn't introduce them and they came empty handed and stayed for lunch!!!!

As it happened, it was ok, enough food etc but what a cheek!!!!

Original poster
Vixxfacee · 09/01/2016 21:01

Also just because you don't see a friend for a few weeks doesn't mean that you're not close.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/01/2016 21:06

She opened a gift that someone else had trusted her to pass to you, Vixx - I think that was wrong of her - it wasn't her money to lend.

IoraRua · 09/01/2016 21:06

I don't think that's unreasonable, assuming her mum desperately needed the money. Sorry OP.

I once had a parent rage at me for not being willing to provide free babysitting after school (think 8pm until late, at theirs....and I was their childs teacher!). Apparently I was massively unreasonable, was being paid by them (because their taxes personally pay my wage, of course) and should be available to support the family!
I still boggle when I think about that one...

Excited101 · 09/01/2016 21:10

SDT it was from the friend, not entrusted by anyone else

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 09/01/2016 21:11

No she didn't SDT. The friend had placed the money in the card herself and told the OP in advance about it. But when she came to hand it over, there was no money there as the friend had lent it to her mother.