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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask your 'what a cheek' stories?

53 replies

Vixxfacee · 09/01/2016 19:50

It was my 30th birthday a few weeks ago. My friend told me that she had a card and some money to give to me as a gift. I haven't been able to hers until now.

I went there today and she handed me my card. Which was already opened. She then said sorry I took your birthday money out to lend to my mum. If you give me your bank details I will transfer next week.

Aibu unreasonable to think this was cheeky?

Anyone else have any what a cheek stories?

OP posts:
purplemunkey · 09/01/2016 21:12

STDG as far as I can gather the card and money was from the friend in question - not a third party. It was her money her lend.

purplemunkey · 09/01/2016 21:13

SDTG I meant, whoops!

CaptainCrunch · 09/01/2016 21:14

Happy birthday op. Bet you wish you hadn't bothered with this thread and all the posters wilfully missing the point.

Original poster
Vixxfacee · 09/01/2016 21:17

Thank you captain.
Grin I know what aibu is like by now!

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/01/2016 21:18

You're right, purple - I had misread the OP, and thought the friend had been asked to hand on the card no gift from a third party - my apologies. Blush

shazzarooney99 · 09/01/2016 21:19

Missed what point? her friend was going to give her some money for her birthday, but then her mum needed to borrow some money, so she took it out the card not knowing when she would next see the friend, so what point are we missing?

CaptainCrunch · 09/01/2016 21:22

The op asked for "what a cheek" stories, not "do you think this is a cheek", point missed completely.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 09/01/2016 21:24

The op did ask if it was unreasonable to think it was cheeky Confused

JeanneDeMontbaston · 09/01/2016 21:27

Well, I think the OP is a prize example of a 'what a cheek' story, so surely it's not missing the point to say so!

Unless we've all misunderstood and the money was from a third party.

MabelFurball · 09/01/2016 21:40

Am I the only one that thinks the friend saying she had lent the money to her mother was just an excuse? Sounds to me like she didn't have the money/spent it herself and was trying to cover up.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 09/01/2016 21:44

Well perhaps Mabel. But the friend isn't obliged to give the OP £30 for her birthday is she?

Original poster
Vixxfacee · 09/01/2016 21:51

I don't think she lent the money to her mum either but from the replies on this thread it would appear that I am being unreasonable.

She couldn't come out for my birthday meal as she didn't have money but bought 2 pairs of Gucci trainers that week for herself.

I got engaged on my birthday as well and today was the first time I saw her since. She didn't ask to see my ring or ask about the proposal story. I offered to show her my ring after she showed me a watch and ring that she had bought herself.

I am prepared to accept that I am being unreasonable or drip feeding though Grin

OP posts:
Howdoesironmanwee · 09/01/2016 21:57

So, she's just not that into you?

Original poster
Vixxfacee · 09/01/2016 22:00

I wouldn't say that. More self centred.

OP posts:
Grilledaubergines · 09/01/2016 22:46

First thought was she's boracic. But after updates, guessing she started with the best intentions but then needed the cash (and probably kicked herself for mentioning the money to you previously.)

Vanderwaals · 09/01/2016 23:25

I don't think that's cheeky, she didn't have to give you money.
My story just shows how much of a mug I am.
I went to see my friend, we were supposed to being going out for dinner.
She fucking asked me if I could pick up her brother from college which took an hour in rush hour!
Idk why I did it. When she asked I was shocked and said okay without thinking.
There's far worse things she did, but I won't go into them. No she's not my friend any longer.

ShamefulPlaceMarker · 10/01/2016 08:24

I went back to my home town over christmas, I had arranged to meet
up with an old friend. She put in her text to bring a pressie for her little boy as she has one for my dd. I
Didn't think we were dping presents! So I ran out and bought her ds something, and her a bottle of wine.
We meet up, I give the presents, and she says oh thanks, we've been rubbish this year and not managed to buy presents for anyone. Didn't hand anything over :/

KaosReigns · 10/01/2016 09:09

Arranged to go to the movies with two friends. Make it to the front of the queue to buy tickets and friend A mentions that she has no money. Friend B and I were forced to pay for her since by this point we'd queued for 10 minutes and already asked for the tickets.

whathavewedonenow99 · 10/01/2016 09:30

I lent a baby bouncer to an ex-friend who said she needed another one so that she didn't have to transfer a baby bouncer from her house to the child minder's every day. I assumed that my one (which was like new) was going to stay at her house and the one she owned would go to the child minders. No. She sent mine to the childminders. I didn't find this out until I asked for it back a few months later and was told, 'oh, I didn't think you would want it back as it is dirty and anyway childminder is now using it for another child'.

Same ex-friend. Lent a child seat for an adult bike which was then dumped in the dump(!) because, once again, she didn't think I wanted it back!

Different acquaintance suggested we all go out for dinner to a place miles away because she had a voucher. I drove, it was an awful night with rain bouncing back up, so I didn't even have a drink. Time for the bill came, they split it in half and they used the voucher on their half and we had to pay all of our half! Yes, I know it was her voucher but I assumed (wrongly) that she would take it off the entire bill and split the rest as this is what I have done in the past.

Maybe not bad 'what a cheek' stories but they still annoy me!

CaptainCrunch · 10/01/2016 12:30

I gave a friend a ton of Brio track and trains that my DS had grown out of for her son. Didn't charge her for it, even though it had cost a fair bit to build up the collection.

Two years later she sold the whole lot on EBay.

I thought that was pretty cheeky.

InQuiteAChristmasPickle · 10/01/2016 12:45

I think that's cheeky too Captain. I think that if someone gives you something out of kindness then you pay it forward and if you know that they don't want it back then either donate it or give it to someone else in need!

InQuiteAChristmasPickle · 10/01/2016 12:46

Or if you do sell it then at least offer some money to the person who was kind enough to give it to you in the first place!

CaptainCrunch · 10/01/2016 12:55

Thanks Pickle. I found out by accident. We were at a friend's house and they mentioned Brio. Cheeky fucker friend piped up that she had just sold all hers on EBay and made a pretty penny. I said "the Brio I gave you?" and she started spluttering and going beetroot in the face, she had clearly forgotten I had given it to her free of charge in the first place.

I didn't pass anything else on to her after that. I would have expected her to either (a) give it back to me to do what I wanted with it when her DS had grown out of it (b) give it someone else for nothing or (c) tell me she was selling it and ask if it was OK and give me half the proceeds.

We're not friends anymore. Grin

Seriouslyffs · 10/01/2016 13:06

OPs example isn't cheeky.
Borrowing a rare (foreign language) transcript of a film and not returning it the day before a final exam was. Claudia from W college Angry

BeaufortBelle · 10/01/2016 13:13

Well I think I must be a real mug:

Took a call on a Sunday morning from an acquainance. "My DH has had the girls at his mother's all weekend and is driving straight to church for the 10.30 service from her house (2 hour plus journey). Three girls, 3, 5, 7 (ish). The girls will be thirsty and hungry so as you are doing Sunday school today could you take some drinks and snacks to church for them". Explained I had swapped on the rota and sorry but it couldn't because we were going out for the day. Then I sat and thought, hey, I have children of 3 and 6 and haven't had a weekend break from the family so why on earth couldn't she meet her family at church with drinks and snacks. I still wonder about the cheek of that one.

Head teacher: We are thinking of changing the uniform - you are pretty organised - could I give you a set of the new stuff to put through the wash 10-20 times to see how it comes up? I did fall for that one - although tbf she did it too.

SIL1: Came to the UK with her three year old for a visit. We took them on a little weekend break to somewhere nice. We were expecting to pay but we paid for every meal, every grocery, every entrance fee, every ice-cream, every coffee and not once did she offer to buy so much as a round of drinks. She also laid on the sofa and read while DH and I cleared up after every meal and supervised three under fives.

SIL2 and her partner: stayed at our house for three weeks while on holiday in England, invited his bro and partner to stay for two nights, ate dinner at our with us every day, did not once unload the dishwasher, left their room and bathroom is such a disgusting state DH didn't use the shower up there for three years even when ours was being replaced. When they left they left 4 cans of Stella as a thank you.

I no longer host my SILS or their families.