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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be using all my self-restraint not to comment

57 replies

MsColouring · 27/12/2015 23:59

Fb related I'm afraid.

Getting married tomorrow. Dp's family are rubbish - only his dad and two uncles are coming - his two sisters aren't. They would need to travel and it's Christmas. But his sister has put all over fb what a great Christmas they have had staying with their aunt. It is taking all my self- restraint to stop myself from commenting on the fact their aunt won't be having a rest because she us actually coming to our wedding which they can't be bothered with. I have had a drink or two so really having to hold myself back.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2015 00:01

I'm not sure I understand?

What's wrong with saying she had a great Christmas, and where did she say her aunt has actually had a rest?

Original poster

MsColouring · 28/12/2015 00:04

Well she did say in her thread that her aunt would now get to rest (without acknowledging wedding) and p'd off she could make the effort to travel to visit family for Christmas but not for our wedding.

OP posts:

Shumaya · 28/12/2015 00:07

This is a busy time for most people. You should have expected that some people wouldn't be able to attend.

Boogers · 28/12/2015 00:08

It's shitty that they're being so unthinking but do you really want people like that at your wedding?

Anyway, congratulations, good luck and I hope the sun shines brightly for you!

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2015 00:10

When you planned your wedding for what is actually the single most busiest time of the year for most people, did it not enter your thoughts that it might be inconvenient for some people to come?

dolly2016 · 28/12/2015 00:14

I really would not want to have to shoe-horn a wedding inbetween xmas and new year so I can see why some people do not want to come ! I think you should respect that and keep your comments to yourself
!t

Chopz · 28/12/2015 00:18

Don't bother. Don't give your SIL a moments thought. Just enjoy your big day. Your best revenge would be posting a few wedding photos of everyone on FB saying what a lively time you all had and thanking aunts uncles for attending.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 28/12/2015 00:24

Asking people to travel at Xmas is always tricky. There are often work and family reasons that make it tricky. But the best thing is to think about what you do have rather than what you don't. Be lovely to the aunt. Forget about the sisters. You'll only ruin your day otherwise.

Tinseltears · 28/12/2015 00:26

Relax. You're getting married tommorrow. Who cares who's coming and who's not? Tomorrow is about you and your soon-to-be DH.

Step away from the Facebook and look forward to your big day.

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/12/2015 00:27

Why are you choosing to get married on 28th December? A Monday?

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2015 00:30

How is posting photos of a wedding someone doesn't want to go to anyway, 'revenge'

OP, just enjoy your day and good luck with it all

Original poster

MsColouring · 28/12/2015 00:35

We chose a date that suited us. Tbh - knew it would be a great date for some but not others. I think it hurts because some of our friends have gone to great efforts to be there but his family haven't. Won't let it ruin our day - just vented here to stop myself having a fb vent which I would have regretted in the morning.

OP posts:

Tinseltears · 28/12/2015 00:40

In which case you've done well - don't let trivial things ruin the day. When you look back on this they won't matter.

Have a fabulous wedding day

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/12/2015 00:41

"We chose a date that suited us. Tbh - knew it would be a great date for some but not others."
OK, so you knew this was not a good date for some. Including his sisters, apparently. You also think "Dp's family are rubbish" - did you set them up to fail? Choose a date you knew they'd struggle with? Because TBH, it's a date that many would struggle with, either through family commitments/travelling, or through lack of funds.

Out2pasture · 28/12/2015 00:49

I understand the sisters are not going to the wedding but why is that?
you mention travel, but there must be more to this.

VimFuego101 · 28/12/2015 00:52

It's an invitation, not a summons. They are not obliged to come, and I would prefer not to have to travel and attend a wedding over Christmas and New Year tbh.

thelaundryfairy · 28/12/2015 00:53

Don´t worry about it. Go to sleep and have a lovely day tomorrow. Congratulations.

MidniteScribbler · 28/12/2015 00:58

So you put a wedding on between Christmas and New Years, that people would have to travel to, and your pissed off when some people can't make it?

LagunaBubbles · 28/12/2015 01:01

If the date suits you and you acknowledge it wouldn't suit some I don't see what the problem is.

Baressentials · 28/12/2015 07:22

Well I would love to attend a wedding between Christmas and New Year It would be an excuse to extend celebrations and would fill the lull in the wee between.
I could understand friends or distant relatives not attending, but your own sisters? Your own sisters should attend. Unless there is a backstory or you aren't at all close.

Baressentials · 28/12/2015 07:23

Oh and congratulations Have a wonderful day.

Enjolrass · 28/12/2015 07:42

Ignore it and have a great day.

You picked a date that was good for you. That's what you should do.

But you also have to accept its not good for everyone else.

You are getting wound up over nothing. Your dos aunt is travelling for the wedding, his sisters are not. It's doesn't follow that they are able to.

Just forget it and enjoy your day.

Toooldtobearsed · 28/12/2015 07:49

You are being daft.

Sisters probably do not have enough holiday to take/money to travel twice in a matter of days.
Probably pre arranged, or tradition that they go to aunts for Christmas, and they honoured that commitment. They politely made a fuss, thanking aunt via social media, rather than being spoilt brats (although I am not a fb fan, I understand others are).

Enjoy your day, hope you have a wonderful time, but do not let this situation cause a family rift, not worth it.

MontyYouTerribleCunt · 28/12/2015 08:05

You are being a bit U IMHO. You picked a date to suit you - great it's your wedding after all! You can't be pissed off if people can't come though. I think it can be easy to lose perspective when you're getting married. People have so much going on at Xmas your wedding just isn't as important to them as it is to you. Why would it be?

LaContessaDiPlump · 28/12/2015 08:10

Well I would love to attend a wedding between Christmas and New Year fgrin It would be an excuse to extend celebrations and would fill the lull in the wee between.

And that's why it's our 6th wedding anniversary tomorrow thanks bareessentials, I was feeling really guilty for asking all my friends to travel at the worst ever time of year for a few minutes there!!

Ignore them and enjoy your day op.

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