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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby's first haircut

45 replies

Lmdoli · 22/12/2015 15:37

I'm in floods of tears and feeling frustrated as it's only a haircut. My son is 20 months and my husband took him for a haircut after several comments from rude onlookers saying our son looked like a girl! He has lovely blond hair which only really started growing when he turned one. His fringe was starting to get in his eyes and the hair on his neck was getting long. I really didn't want a lot taking off and even sent husband with a photo from the next catalogue...... He's come back with a short haircut. All cut at the back and round his ears with his fringe about an inch long. It's awful and just not what I wanted! He didn't even bring any baby hair back with him!......I know I should have taken him myself but busy cleaning ready for Xmas and to be honest I didn't really want it cutting....... To make matters worse my husband went back and complained! - when he let her cut it in the first place!

OP posts:

thewolfof34thstreet · 22/12/2015 15:41

oh it's just hair OP, who cares. in a nice way, YABU

thewolfof34thstreet · 22/12/2015 15:41

your husband sounds like a nightmare customer

DirtyDancing · 22/12/2015 22:02

Oh bless you. I totally understand. My 2 YO has a lot of hair, and his first haircut was a shock! He looked so different with it short, almost like a different child! I hated the way the front was cut really short and staight across. Anyway, the good news is it will grow back. You will get used to it, or its grow. Mine now has it slightly swept to the side and longer on top and actually I now like it shorter. Why don't you cut a tiny weany bit off and keep it, or next time he has a cut keep that. It's still his soft baby hair ;-) And next time go along to supervise!

Tired2ndTimeMum · 22/12/2015 22:32

Definitely go along yourself next time.

My son's just over 2 and I wouldn't let him go unsupervised with my husband for a haircut as he'd probably come home with it all shaved off.

The other posters ARE right though... It will grow back.

I usually just get my son's fringe cut and then ask for a very small trim at the back. Occasionally he might still get mistaken for a girl but it's very rare now - like you my son had little hair until he was around 1 so I really like to keep it longer! Try to worry less about comments from other people too - he's your son so cut his hair however YOU want!

Oysterbabe · 22/12/2015 22:42

Yabu for being in floods of tears. It's just hair.

lostoldlogin2 · 22/12/2015 22:46

Hair grows back. Relax.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/12/2015 22:52

The only thing that's sad is that he didn't get you a lock of hair. The rest, it's just hair, that was in his eyes.

ffs78 · 22/12/2015 23:05

I think you're reacting emotionally because the first haircut is a big moment that you feel you were rushed into and you missed out on it. That's completely understandable and you're allowed to feel cheated.

However, you need to find the strength to let go of the anger and grief and turn this into a positive experience. Your son sat nicely for his haircut which is brilliant at his age so praise him for being a good boy, please don't make it a disaster because your little boy did something amazing today. His hair will grow back stronger and healthier too. I know he doesn't look like your baby anymore but he is still the same little boy and I promise you that in six months time this will not be a big deal anymore.

I didn't get the chance to salvage my child's baby hair but she's three now and it really doesn't matter. Photos and memories are much better keepsakes.

Needaninsight · 22/12/2015 23:09

It could be worse.

My Gran (mums MIL) cut my brother's hair whilst looking after him. Without permission. And around a bowl :D Wonky as. His beautiful blond curls destroyed!

I do understand though. My 19month old still hasn't had a haircut. I want him like a Boden model. If husband took him and he came back with half a shaved head, I wouldn't be impressed at all!

Hihohoho1 · 22/12/2015 23:12

Totally understand op it's a milestone.

However it will grow back and obviously your ds sat well and behaved.

Don't let it get to you too much.

lozster · 22/12/2015 23:34

Poor you! I totally get this as my 27 month old has yet to have a hair cut apart from the terrible fringe trim I did. A little girl on the park came up to me and said, ever so politely, excuse me please is that a little boy or girl. His first cut is to be a long cut

TimeToMuskUp · 22/12/2015 23:54

I had a lock of DS2's hair. The dog ate it when I was cleaning the bedroom and dropped it onto the floor from it's special hair-pot.

It will grow back, though understandably you're upset as it's a precious milestone. YANBU really.

Bunbaker · 23/12/2015 00:00

Am I the only one who doesn't think of babies' haircuts as a big or precious milestone?

In fact it wasn't a milestone at all for me. DD was born with lots of hair. It just grew thicker and by the time she was sitting up she looked like a little girl not a baby because she had proper hair. I can't even remember when I first had to cut her fringe because it wasn't a big deal. It just needed to be out of her eyes.

I don't really care for straggly rat's taily hair on toddlers just because mum can't bear to have it cut.

It's just hair, it will grow back.

Mmmmcake123 · 23/12/2015 00:14

OP with all respect you need to get this in perspective. Stop crying! Think of disadvantaged people! Watch some channel 5 adverts for charities and give yourself a kick up the ass!!
I don't want to be mean, I slightly understand your pain, but I don't understand why you didn't take a lock of hair earlier.
Sorry, but it's clearly no biggie xxx

PlaymobilPirate · 23/12/2015 00:46

Dads can decide that children need haircuts too - they can even choose the style. Yabu and ridiculous.

AbbyCadabby · 23/12/2015 00:51

I'm gonna say yanbu. I think you are annoyed with yourself and your dh that you listened to rude strangers. Who cares if your son looks like a girl or a boy. I love long hair on little boys. I bet he is still a cutie though, so you need to move on - it's done, and in time will grow. If he likes it long, ignore the rude people who think all boys should have short back and sides.

toffeeboffin · 23/12/2015 01:23

When DS was 18 months DH decided to cut his hair as he has his own clippers. He gave my poor baby a number 1. A number bloody ONE! It took six months to grow back.

I have to admit it did look better after a few weeks, less wispy.

Jelliebabe1 · 23/12/2015 03:47

Yabu! Hate girly hair on little boys! I suspect your husband probably does too!

Bodicea · 23/12/2015 06:00

I don't understand. Did you husband show the hairdresser the picture and they just took it upon themselves to ignore him? Or did he just say he needed a hair cut and leave them to it?

maybebabybee · 23/12/2015 06:25

Jellie what is 'girly' hair please? I have short hair myself as I can't stand it long. Am I a man?

Fucking stupid comment.

Enjolrass · 23/12/2015 06:46

Yabu. It's a hair cut. If you wanted to be there for this 'milestone' (which I don't think it is) you should have gone.

Hair grows back. Crying over this is really really ridiculous.

I assume they cut his hair how your husband asked? Why the hell did he go back and complain? To appease you? To make out they did it and he had nothing to do with it?

I am completely baffled why a dad isn't allowed to pick what hair style his child has.

thecitydoc · 23/12/2015 10:44

when younger I was told that the difference between a bad hair cut and a good hair cut is about 2 weeks - and its is

Thurlow · 23/12/2015 10:54

In the nicest possible way, YABU. Dads can decide that children need haircuts too - they can even choose the style - exactly this.

It'll grow back

Thurlow · 23/12/2015 10:57

Bunbaker - DD's first trim was me suddenly slicing off the back of the mullet she was growing with the kitchen scissors when she was about 6mo. I can't say it occurred to me to do anything but put the hair in the bin.

Having said that, babies with lots of hair are their own separate challenge...

thatstoast · 23/12/2015 11:02

Oh dear, DS is nearly two and if he'd never had his hair cut he'd look like It from Addams family by now. I bet your DS looks lovely with his new hair but you're just a bit shocked atm.

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