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AIBU?

Baby's first haircut

45 replies

Lmdoli · 22/12/2015 15:37

I'm in floods of tears and feeling frustrated as it's only a haircut. My son is 20 months and my husband took him for a haircut after several comments from rude onlookers saying our son looked like a girl! He has lovely blond hair which only really started growing when he turned one. His fringe was starting to get in his eyes and the hair on his neck was getting long. I really didn't want a lot taking off and even sent husband with a photo from the next catalogue...... He's come back with a short haircut. All cut at the back and round his ears with his fringe about an inch long. It's awful and just not what I wanted! He didn't even bring any baby hair back with him!......I know I should have taken him myself but busy cleaning ready for Xmas and to be honest I didn't really want it cutting....... To make matters worse my husband went back and complained! - when he let her cut it in the first place!

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mrsmeerkat · 23/12/2015 17:47

I love a neat short cut on my toddler so I dont really understand the tears but surely you should have gone yourself

His hair was on his eyes and it will be easy to manage

Very bad they didn't give you his hair though

EmmaWoodlouse · 23/12/2015 17:27

I don't much like short hair on boys but it will grow back. Try not to let it get to you too much.

Enjolrass · 23/12/2015 15:30

Shit quoted wrong quote

scrumptiouscrumpets · 23/12/2015 15:03

YANBU - I dithered for weeks before I managed to cut DS's ridiculously long fringe. I understand how important it feels! But once it's done, and you realise how quickly it grows back, you won't find it so incredibly important.

AbeSaidYes · 23/12/2015 14:52

"I do wonder why some men are reluctant to get fully involved in parenting? This thread perhaps suggests why"

it would make me wonder why parents who are un-involved suddenly get involved when their friend or family make remarks.

Enjolrass · 23/12/2015 14:41

It's doesn't bother me enough to quit Facebook or anything, but it is mildly ridiculous

Agree with this.
We are growing ds hair as it sticks up at a certain length. Always looks like her has just got out of bed.

Dh took him for it cut. Came back really short I said 'I thought we were growing it'

He said 'oh yeah I forgot'

End of story.

All this 'I will never trust him again' is very over the top.

Thankfulforeveryday · 23/12/2015 14:39

Seriously?? Floods of tears??? It's just hair!!!!!

knobblyknee · 23/12/2015 14:35

TimeToMuskUp Oooh! I would have been in floods...I had a box with some baby teeth and a curl and my son was so freaked out he made me throw them away.

YANBU. I think your other half is worried about his son looking like a girl. Tell him to grow a pair.
Mine had long curly hair and long eyelashes, and he loved the wedding dress at playgroup.

Thurlow · 23/12/2015 14:32

Mud, there's a lot of times I don't wonder anymore.

Bunbaker · 23/12/2015 14:19

"Baby hair is special"

Why do some parents think it is and some - like me don't? Just curious.

mudandmayhem01 · 23/12/2015 14:18

I do wonder why some men are reluctant to get fully involved in parenting? This thread perhaps suggests why

FlatOnTheHill · 23/12/2015 14:14

YANBU. Baby hair is special and agree the first cut is a worry. I know you said you are busy but you should have taken him yourself. Why your husband went back and complained after he had obviously paid and left is ridiculous. Made himself look silly to be honest. But i do understand where you are coming from. The first cut if severe takes that baby look away. Just keep thinking it will grow.

megletthesecond · 23/12/2015 14:08

It'll grow back.

I don't like short hair on tiny kids either. I stopped the hairdresser mid-cut when he wanted to use clippers around the back of then 2 yo ds's hair.

CakeNinja · 23/12/2015 14:05

Chill, it's just hair. That stuff that grows. Constantly!
I took ds to the barbers for a haircut recently and buggered up the numbers and style - he ended up with a 0.5 all over and resembled a convict for a couple of weeks.
I laughed about it even at the time, he looked ridiculous
Honestly op, it will grow back, it's only hair!!

Bunbaker · 23/12/2015 14:02

"I can't say it occurred to me to do anything but put the hair in the bin."

Same here. For me baby milestones are first steps, talking, first day at pre-school etc, not something as trivial as a hair cut.

MrsMook · 23/12/2015 12:17

Yes, rationally it's only hair and it will grow back, but it's not unreasonable to feel like this.

DS2 didn't have enough hair to cut until he'd passed his second birthday. Being blonde, he looked bald until 18 months when it thickened up. At 2.5 it's still growing slowly and taking time to thicken up consistently.

DS1 has a mop. Mainly to hide his lumpy head. And he's got tufty hair sprouting out from various crowns and cows licks, so he needs longer hair to weigh it down so he doesn't look like a toilet brush.

I will admit that it had got too long, so I accepted DH's offer of taking both children to the hairdressers as he was off for DS1's inset day, and I was struggling for free time to take them.

They came back looking like default Mook clones with the same harsh cut as DH, their uncle and cousins. I was not happy. I hated it. They did not look like my children, and it was like a little bit of their identity was taken. It was the same primal feeling as when DS1 started at nursery and came home smelling wrong with other women's perfume on him. 7 weeks on and they're beginning to look themselves again; it's now the length that it should have been cut to. Part of my frustration was that it would take months to get right again.

I won't be trusting DH to do it in a hurry again. I should have known better from the man who can't tell when my hair's been cut from bra strap to shoulders. He saw it as a simple problem of children's hair getting too long, get hair dressers to chop lots off. Children with short hair = problem solved.

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/12/2015 11:05

Even long hair needs trimming and tidying. maybe it was in a state and needed to be cut in order to allow fir a more styled longer cut later?

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 23/12/2015 11:05

I must be slacking, I took first word or first steps as milestones. There was nothing in the baby books about first hair cut.

YABVU, it's hair. It grows back and maybe your DH wanted it shorter as many don't like long hair on boys. If you wanted to save some hair for whatever reason why didn't you cut some before they went?

mudandmayhem01 · 23/12/2015 11:05

My sons first haircut was done by 4 year old dd, I thought they were playing nicely, far too quiet.Dd had got hold of some scissors and cut the fringe to about 1 cm long, leaving the sides and back in mulleted glory. So pleased that no ones eyes had been gouged out, I was relatively calm. He had to have a no. 2 with clippers to even it all out. He is now 10 and has fab long hair ( doesn't like haircuts for some reason!)

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/12/2015 11:03

yabu.

if it had been butchered and cut unevenly then complain.

but surely he got what he asked fir. hair dressers don't just cut they ask what you want first.

if he was worried about "girly hair" and over compensated well more fool him but it will grow back and least all the tatty ends have been removed and he can actually see.

thatstoast · 23/12/2015 11:02

Oh dear, DS is nearly two and if he'd never had his hair cut he'd look like It from Addams family by now. I bet your DS looks lovely with his new hair but you're just a bit shocked atm.

Thurlow · 23/12/2015 10:57

Bunbaker - DD's first trim was me suddenly slicing off the back of the mullet she was growing with the kitchen scissors when she was about 6mo. I can't say it occurred to me to do anything but put the hair in the bin.

Having said that, babies with lots of hair are their own separate challenge...

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Thurlow · 23/12/2015 10:54

In the nicest possible way, YABU. Dads can decide that children need haircuts too - they can even choose the style - exactly this.

It'll grow back

thecitydoc · 23/12/2015 10:44

when younger I was told that the difference between a bad hair cut and a good hair cut is about 2 weeks - and its is

Enjolrass · 23/12/2015 06:46

Yabu. It's a hair cut. If you wanted to be there for this 'milestone' (which I don't think it is) you should have gone.

Hair grows back. Crying over this is really really ridiculous.

I assume they cut his hair how your husband asked? Why the hell did he go back and complain? To appease you? To make out they did it and he had nothing to do with it?

I am completely baffled why a dad isn't allowed to pick what hair style his child has.

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