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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to have complained about this student nurse?

60 replies

MaidrinRua · 21/12/2015 16:58

My 16 week old baby has had trouble with his bowels- bad constipation and faecal impaction. Today he ended up having a bowel washout procedure in A&E which was both traumatic and very messy- the s*&t literally hit the cubicle curtain!

After the doctors left me to clean my little one up (he was screaming and crying) I lifted him, wrapped in an inco-pad to console him.

A few moments later a student nurse walked by and saw the mess, I assume without realising we were in the cubicle, and laughed and made a massive fart noise, then saw me and scampered away around the corner.

I complained to the nurse in charge, who was horrified...I think I was right to do that but worry that it might look like I was just a hysterical, touchy mum being over sensitive.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
AngieBolen · 21/12/2015 17:02

YWNBU.

It won't be long before the student nurse doesn't blink when she sees faeces or vomit or worse, but until then she needs to grow up.

LittleMiss77 · 21/12/2015 17:04

I think you did the right thing. As a nurse, student or otherwise, you take things like that in your stride and do not take this piss in a place where you may be overheard by patients.

Whilst shit all over cubicle may be an everyday occurance for nurses and other medical professionals, it is no doubt embarassing and humiliating for patients and they should be treated in the most caring way possible i.e no farting noises from "professionals" (what they do/say outside of work in private i think is a different matter as everyone needs to de-stress)

I'd have complained too

yorkshapudding · 21/12/2015 17:06

I'm a Nurse and if one of my students behaved like that I would definitely want to know about it. You did the right thing. I hope your little one is feeling better.

Original poster
MaidrinRua · 21/12/2015 17:13

Thanks folks. It felt like the right thing to do but I did worry that it might be construed as over sensitive...which is really silly as it was definitely completely inappropriate and unprofessional.

My little man has slept since but his wee tummy is so tiny compared to the big, bloaty belly it was before.

OP posts:
ToadsforJustice · 21/12/2015 17:19

You were right to complain. Patients must be treated with respect and dignity. It's juvenile and disrespectful to make a farting noise or to laugh at someone's misery - especially within the workplace.

I hope your DS is feeling better. Constipation can be very painful for a small baby. No wonder he was crying and screaming.

ValancyJane · 21/12/2015 17:21

YANBU, I would have complained too. I hope your DS is more comfortable now.

WhetherOrNot · 21/12/2015 17:23

I wouldn't have complained - with all the horror and things they deal with every day surely a little levity can be allowed occasionally?

TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain · 21/12/2015 17:24

I would have complained too. When you are sick you often lose a lot of dignity. - my dad s very sick at the moment, should he find that people were laughing at him when he soiled himself, he wouldn't be able to bear it. The nurse needs to learn now that this is unprofessional.

Hope you DS feels better - and you, its never easy for the parents

Katedotness1963 · 21/12/2015 17:25

I would not have complained.

GeneralLeia · 21/12/2015 17:28

Your poor DS hope he's okay now.

I think you did exactly the right think. You mentioned it to her superior who will be able to have a quiet word with her. Completely appropriate.

It's not like you made a written complaint calling for her head!

SauvignonBlanche · 21/12/2015 17:28

with all the horror and things they deal with every day surely a little levity can be allowed occasionally?

There is a lot of levity in all areas of Nursing, A&E in particular can be the subject of some downright black humour but never in front of a patient.

I've said some outrageous things in the sluice room but that's where it stays.

Dipankrispaneven · 21/12/2015 17:33

WhetherOrNot, if you had been lying there sick, humiliated and in pain after suffering all the indignity of a massive episode of incontinence, would you seriously have though it was fine for a passing nurse to use you as the object of "a little levity"?

ChatEnOeuf · 21/12/2015 17:34

Agree - coffee room humour can be as dark as night, but in front of the patients, it's professional or bust. This student would do well to remember that, until she knows her patients well enough to joke with them.

Toughasoldboots · 21/12/2015 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Doublebubblebubble · 21/12/2015 17:36

Yanbu. I would've complained too. Your poor ds. Poor you for having to see that be done to your poor ds. I hope he's better soon.

I wouldn't have complained - with all the horror and things they deal with every day surely a little levity can be allowed occasionally

Its not a question of finding something funny... Its a question of being professional. You don't laugh about a patient or a patients misery whilst the patient is still in the vicinity. When I was 19 a condom got stuck inside me. I was so embarrassed and ended up at a and e to get it removed. The nurse who took it out was professional and calm. Once I left i am positive she laughed about the situation, or once she'd gone home, heck, I was laughing about it during the removal! (although I cant imagine why anyone would laugh about a baby or Childs illness surely she must have heard him crying little mite x) Flowers

EponasWildDaughter · 21/12/2015 17:36

''it might look like I was just a hysterical, touchy mum being over sensitive.''

You've hit the nail on the head OP, without meaning to :)

If you were being the above it would be understandable under those circs. And that's the reason why a nurse should avoid going round making fart noises when she sees shit. Because hospitals tend to be full of people feeling a bit sensitive, at the very least.

Flowers
HesterShaw · 21/12/2015 17:41

She needs to learn professionalism and sensitivity and if that's what it takes....

Say she had done that to someone with Crohn's or IBS or some other horrible bowel condition?

You did the right thing.

I hope your little one (and you!) is feeling better soon.

Aeroflotgirl · 21/12/2015 17:42

Op you did the right thing, th student nurse shoukd have behaved professionally, she should have helped clean up nit stand there laughing and making farting noises. If she carries on like this she will be off her course. As a Midwife you see women at their mist undignified and vulnerable, part of the job is to put the woman at ease and make them feel comfortable not laugh at them.

vanillabeauty · 21/12/2015 17:58

As a student nurse I am glad you complained. This type of thing gives us a bad name. Professionalism and dignity is drilled into us from the start. Hopefully she is dealt with appropriately as others have said she could have done this with others 😞.
Hope you and your LO are okay now.

Goingtobeawesome · 21/12/2015 18:06

YANBU at all. Silly silly girl, if you want to be a nurse you need to be mature.

I hope your baby is okay now.

Obloquy · 21/12/2015 18:08

Yes, he or she was in the wrong, and knew it otherwise wouldn't have scarpered.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 21/12/2015 18:27

I hope the senior nurse takes the time to ensure the student nurse understands how inappropriate and unprofessional she was.

I hope the student is now feeling terrible about this and vows never to behave like this again.

I hope she learns to understand that gallows humour in private stays private, and it's not a chance to take the piss out of people who are scared, humiliated, poorly and/ or upset.

Otherwise she's an awful nurse in the making. Hope to god I never meet her. You can understand compassion fatigue, but starting off with such a disgusting attitude?

Imagine if she 'farted' at an elderly lady who was devastated about losing control of her bowels? Losing dignity & worrying about losing independence.

Imagine if she 'farted' at someone who was terrified and had just been told further investigations were needed...

Or at someone who was in pain, or scared, etc etc. At what point is it acceptable to mock someone?

I think YANBU at all, and by telling another member of staff you're hopefully stopping other people from being upset by this immature student.

Libitina · 21/12/2015 18:28

YANBU.

If she was my student I would want to know. She behaved in a very unprofessional manner.

Chattymummyhere · 21/12/2015 18:33

Yanbu

It's basic common sense, sure laugh about it in the staff room however it's completely inappropriate in front of a patient. Hell that's even taught on the level 2 health and social care course about respect and dignity to those who are unwell.

Oldraver · 21/12/2015 18:35

Say she had done that to someone with Crohn's or IBS or some other horrible bowel condition?

Well she did didn't she ? but it was a tiny baby

If I were the nurse in charge I would of sent her in to help with the clean up

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