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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to have complained about this student nurse?

60 replies

MaidrinRua · 21/12/2015 16:58

My 16 week old baby has had trouble with his bowels- bad constipation and faecal impaction. Today he ended up having a bowel washout procedure in A&E which was both traumatic and very messy- the s*&t literally hit the cubicle curtain!

After the doctors left me to clean my little one up (he was screaming and crying) I lifted him, wrapped in an inco-pad to console him.

A few moments later a student nurse walked by and saw the mess, I assume without realising we were in the cubicle, and laughed and made a massive fart noise, then saw me and scampered away around the corner.

I complained to the nurse in charge, who was horrified...I think I was right to do that but worry that it might look like I was just a hysterical, touchy mum being over sensitive.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
MadisonMontgomery · 21/12/2015 18:39

You definitely did the right thing. Your baby is too young to realise what was happening, but someone old enough to understand would be terribly embarrassed & upset.

Tiredemma · 21/12/2015 18:47

AS a ward manager I would want to know if a Student Nurse on my ward behaved in such a way.

Im fed up of investigating the practice of nurses who should have been pulled up on professionalism years ago.

lorelei9 · 21/12/2015 19:05

A now departed friend was desperately upset during cancer treatment, because of a time she soiled herself in a hospital. she felt that indignity to be the final insult.

There is no way a nurse can make this joke where there is any risk of being heard by a patient. You are right to complain. I would put in the context of being concerned that the affected patient would hear it.

lorelei9 · 21/12/2015 19:07

Old raver, the nurse couldn't see who was there so it's sheer dumb luck that she didn't say it in front of someone with bowel cancer or some such.

AyeAmarok · 21/12/2015 19:16

You did the absolute right thing. If nothing else, she NEEDS to learn that that is not appropriate, before she upsets someone who is in an even more fragile and sensitive position than you are.

This way it can be dealt with early on and she will know not to do it ever again. And it can be blamed on ignorance or whatever, as she's only training and learning. So it's the ideal time for her to learn.

Glad your little DS is feeling better.

TheFairyCaravan · 21/12/2015 19:17

Why is everyone presuming the student was a woman? Student nurses come in the male variety too!

I'm glad you complained, OP. DS2 is a student nurse. He's very mindful of treating people respectfully and with dignity.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/12/2015 19:22

Not everyone is making that assumption, I didn't. After over 20 years in nursing, I am well aware that I have many male colleagues.

TheFairyCaravan · 21/12/2015 19:25

Okay, most people then!

InTheBox · 21/12/2015 19:30

I wouldn't have complained but can understand the reasons behind those that say they would. I hope your little one is feeling better.

SauvignonBlanche · 21/12/2015 19:33

I'll give you that. Smile
I'm always mindful of that and have phoned HR and complained when I saw an advert at my Trust for a 'Sister' and made then change it to 'Sister/Charge Nurse.

VagueIdeas · 21/12/2015 19:35

Totally unprofessional.

Is your baby been seen by a gastro doctor yet, OP? Has anyone mentioned Hirschsprung's?

ABetaDad1 · 21/12/2015 19:42

You did the right thing. Its important. Young people in training need feedback before they really get into the job. The nurse may decide the job is not the right one for them.

I once very gently complained about a very junior doctor to the senior consultant.

The junior doctor had done the usual preoperative questionnaire and as he was leaving my bedside he casually said 'many people commit suicide with your condition'.

I mentioned his unusual bedside manner to the senior consultant and that on balance I thought that mentioning suicide as a treatment option probably wasn't wise under the circumstances.

The senior consultant went Hmm and said 'you just cant get the staff nowadays' with a wry smile and apologised. I'm sure the junior doctor got a thick ear and earned a valuable lesson which he would not forget.

Jibberjabberjooo · 21/12/2015 19:43

I'm a nurse and would not be impressed if one of my students did this. It's inappropriate and immature.

Totally agree about what is talked about in the staff room. Any bodily fluid can be talked about over lunch, we forget it's not normal!

SauvignonBlanche · 21/12/2015 19:48

I do wish more people would complain, or shall I re-phrase that and say, feedback, or constructive criticism?

Like Tiredemma, I'm another Ward Manager that's sick of seeing crap nurses getting away with low level poor performance and being moved from pillar to post. Patient feedback is very powerful.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 21/12/2015 19:54

I'm not surprised you put in a complaint. Very imature and unprossional. She's obviously barking up the wrong tree career wise. You teach people most things but sadly not you cant teach sensitivity, dignity respect and tact.
I agree with chatty mum. Gossiping and laughing in the staff room is one thing. Laughing and mocking in front of a patient is very much another.

Wheretheresawill1 · 21/12/2015 19:55

She just sounds very new. I.e still learning I.e what students are there for. Not great but not a disaster

NorthernLurker · 21/12/2015 19:58

I am a manager in the NHS and I think you were right to complain. Yes there is a difference in what we say 'in private' and what is said in public. It is super embarrassing when something 'in private' gets done or said in public and all that can be done is to offer an honest apology. Fwiw I doubt this student intended to upset or humiliate a patient but what they did carried that risk and it won't hurt them to crap themselves (you see what I did there Wink) over it.

Hope your baby is fully recovered. Sounds grim for you both.

MimiLaBonq1 · 21/12/2015 20:03

I wouldn't have complained if she hadn't skedaddled. That was crap.

When you're caught out being unprofessional at least have the decency to hang around to apologise or laugh it off with the client. Or patient in your case.

BoffinMum · 21/12/2015 20:05

I would have done the same. That nurse needs carpeting.

rosebiggs · 21/12/2015 20:10

What a silly girl. You absolutely did the right thing.

TaintedAngel · 21/12/2015 20:13

Ywnbu. Not at all.

The student was not a child, she is an adult who is more than capable of waiting until she is in a more appropriate place to have a giggle about something she seen.

I dont have an issue with nurses having a laugh/rant etc about something or someone as long as its in private away from the ears of those who they are supposed to be helping. Patients wont have trust in staff who act childish.

BifsWif · 21/12/2015 20:17

YANBU

Your baby is entitled to just as much respect as every other patient. I hope he's better soon.

hazeyjane · 21/12/2015 20:26

YWNBU

After having dd1, I had a 3rd degree tear, with faecal incontinence and couldn't make it to the toilet, I was mortified, shaky after a 3 day labour, in agony from the tear and alone in the middle of the night - I and a MW heard 2 students laughing about me and moaning about the mess I had made - we both put a complaint in.

Everyone - however old, deserves to be treated with respect and dignity when they are in hospital, a time when they and their family are worried and vulnerable.

I hope your baby feels better soon.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 21/12/2015 21:17

Jane that's awful. What was the outcome of the complaint?