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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this might ruin Christmas

37 replies

Maisy313 · 16/12/2015 22:32

I really can't stand listening to noisy eaters, I know I'm highly unreasonable but it actually makes me feel weird I get so angry I almost feel out of control or that I have to run away. My PIL eat sweets and nuts non stop really loudly for hours on end (literally hours) and as a result I'm dreading spending Christmas with them (Arghhh I'm horrible as they are both nice people) but being trapped in a living room with them makes me feel a bit violent I'm normally very chilled out, I actually think I have some kind of problem...

OP posts:

BramblePie · 16/12/2015 22:33

It's called misophonia. Not sure how to help over Xmas though. It would also do my head in!

OwlinaTree · 16/12/2015 22:34

Drink. Lots.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 16/12/2015 22:34

Ear plugs? Get some discreet ones or tell them you have an ear infection and have been advised to wear them!

glentherednosedbattleostrich · 16/12/2015 22:38

I understand what you mean and have the same problem.

MIL does a horrible slurping lip smacking thing which makes me stabby. Then she slurps her way through meals and farts at the table. Dd refuses to sit beside her at the table now!

Original poster

Maisy313 · 16/12/2015 22:39

Thanks for the suggestions! I'm going to look misophonia up - I feel so angry / guilty at the same time for the irrational rage! Last year I went and sat in the bathroom to get away... Children share a room with us up there so can't escape (unless I sit silently in a dark room!)

OP posts:

glentherednosedbattleostrich · 16/12/2015 22:39

Gin helps (me) and giving mil lots of bacardi so she naps

Bogeyface · 16/12/2015 22:40

I cannot bear noisy eaters, I wouldnt go. Sounds OTT but I really wouldnt!

trashcanjunkie · 16/12/2015 22:43

Seriously, get some earplugs. One of my twins has this problem. Mornings were not fun in our house! The earplugs are a godsend, and very discreet. Alternatively, use a bit of cotton wool, and feign a mild ear infection/gloopy ears. That way you won't seem rude.

Original poster

Maisy313 · 16/12/2015 22:44

I will try plying them with alcohol until they are too drunk to eat...

OP posts:

Original poster

Maisy313 · 16/12/2015 22:45

And discreet earplugs, although have only ever seen quite big bright green / orange ones in Boots etc.

OP posts:

Blacktealeaves · 16/12/2015 22:47

My parents, especially my mum, both say "mmmmm" alot when enjoying food which i find incredibly irritating. She is generally a lovely person though. My dad is irritating in other ways too....

Ed1tY0urPr0f1le · 16/12/2015 22:55

I have this and DH eating nuts is one of my worst noises! Something to do with the repetitive scrabbling in the bowl followed by the chomping. At least he just eats a small bowl at a time though so, if it's really bad, I just leave the room to 'go to the toilet' or 'put my pyjamas on' and give him five minutes to finish. If he was chomping away for hours, I'd struggle.

My lovely mum eating an apple or (omg!) a nectarine is another.

Also anyone eating cereal.

It's horrible.

I agree, earplugs could be the way to go.

serin · 16/12/2015 23:02

Oh God, I feel your pain.

Superdrug have beige ear plugs...a little less visible than the bright green ones in Boots.

Suggest lots of nice winter walks? buy or borrow a Border Collie and tell them that it needs constant exercising so you must take it outside all the time.

Hide the sweets.

MockTheWeek · 16/12/2015 23:02

I'm the same and my BIL is the most disgusting eater. There will be 12 of us on Christmas Day including two babies and I'm dreading it!

Nancery · 16/12/2015 23:08

OP, I understand completely! It too makes me feel quite violent!
Good luck

LindyHemming · 16/12/2015 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saz12 · 16/12/2015 23:15

I would rather not eat than have to sit at a table with the sounds. I was diagnosed with anorexia in my early 20's, but it wasn't a weight/body image issue, it was the sheer disgusting revoltingness of hearing other people eat. I may not be entirely rational about this!

I try to limit it to one shared meal a day, and for Occasions (eg Christmas) plan menu's to allow for breakout activities (e.g. custard that desperately needs to be stirred) when all is too much. I can cope with DH, and find DD not an issue at all, but it is a trial with other people.

Drink lots, put music on, and get a bigger table.

BoffinMum · 16/12/2015 23:18

I hate this, and teeth cleaning as well. I didn't realise it had a name.

hefzi · 16/12/2015 23:25

One of my elderly relatives always used to confront noisy eaters and tell them that they sounded like "a horse eating beans": go on, OP - I dare you!

MistressoftheYoniverse · 16/12/2015 23:30

I can't stand many face noises..chewing loudly, sniffing and not blowing nose,hawk n spitting, coughing loudly and frequently (I know they can't help it)...in-human laughs...burps n blow... ear-plugs maybe?...I really feel your pain

WyrdByrd · 16/12/2015 23:38

Ugh! I feel your pain.

Weirdly my top 'horrible eating noises' are much the same as Ed1ts - nuts, cereal and bananas are my pet hates.

I do find that some people's eating noises are worse than others - my mum, DH, sometimes DD and a couple of my friends really grate on me, yet I have other friends and my Dad who I could sit next to while they eat and it wouldn't register.

I think it must be something to do with the amount of air they take in/saliva produced that makes some worse/noisier than others.

If you're just sitting and chilling out, could you take some headphones and listen to an audiobook?

pieceofpurplesky · 16/12/2015 23:47

My DS is like this. He has been known to put his knife and fork down and ask to be excused from the table as 'the way X is eating is making me feel sick'

Bogeyface · 17/12/2015 00:42

YY to H eating nuts, but the worst ones have got to be my mother eating cornflakes, the slurping and crunching and gulping made me nauseous, but she would go mad if I didnt want to eat my breakfast! Then her with a boiled egg....even the thought of that 30 odd years later makes me feel ill!

lizzydrippingsghost · 17/12/2015 07:19

glenthered that is fucking grim,no way would i sit at the table with anyone like that

Schrodingersmum · 17/12/2015 07:50

DD is diagnosed with severe Misophonia and its awful to live with from both sides

Do you have an ipod? You can download a white noise app which you could use sometimes to calm you, ear plugs can be counterproductive long term but might help short term

If it becomes really bad you can be referred to an audiologist and have tiny in ear white noise generators which help you cope

Sometimes just knowing its real with a name helps you cope, there is a support group called misophoniauk if you need more help

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