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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To even think about going out just yet

46 replies

Wishfulmakeupping · 13/12/2015 20:00

Gave birth earlier this week straightforward delivery but feel pretty shocking- painful stitches, after pains, bad back.
My older dc has her first preschool party on Friday and on the sat its a very good friend's son's bday party which my dd would love to. My dh could take her to both on his own but I want to be there firstly I'd love to see how she is in the preschool environment and secondly dd would enjoy both parties.
Am I crazy to consider going out so soon after birth.
Firstly it will mean my newborn ds will be surrounded by lots of children both days so might pick up a bug.
We're still trying up settle into routines and are pretty shattered.
Lastly I feel pretty grim today how much better will I realistically feel by fri?
Wwyd?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wishfulmakeupping · 13/12/2015 20:01

Or what have you done? Is it normal to just get straight back out?
With dd I stayed in for a good while after birth and just had people come to me.

OP posts:
Sidalee7 · 13/12/2015 20:03

I would get your dh to go, and rest up with your newborn. You need to heal!

SantanaLopez · 13/12/2015 20:03

Don't if you feel grim. If you honestly honestly honestly feel fine, go for it.

Is the newborn snuggly and gorgeous? Congratulations.

gamerchick · 13/12/2015 20:03

Probably a lot better than you're feeling now but I would play it by ear. You might want him to take the baby with him so you can sleep instead. You just don't know.

DiscoSpider · 13/12/2015 20:06

Congratulations! Flowers

With my second and third I was up and out and about as normal by day three. Supermarket, out for coffee etc. I probably wouldn't have done kids parties though, as you say I'd be worried about potential bugs because of curious sticky toddlers. I was on a high following my births though, and it was just wonderful feeling not pregnant anymore. I had rough pregnancies but amazing births and easy newborns. Shame they didn't stay easy

DiscoSpider · 13/12/2015 20:08

Oh yes and I've never had any stitches so nothing to worry about there. I think I'd probably stay put in your case tbh.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 13/12/2015 20:08

Oh you might feels sooooo much better by Friday! I had an episiotomy and 3rd degree year and my stitches felt worst in days 4-7ish. I was out and about straight away, supermarket, BF cafe, GP surgery, park etc. I found walking around helped! And I was on top of my painkillers, took them like clockwork for about a week I think. I didn't worry about DS picking up a bug, he was in the GP surgery waiting room at 3 days old which probably wasn't smart 😳

You have to do what you feel most comfortable with - if you feel best staying home then do it, but as I say, hopefully you'll feel totally different by Friday! Tea tree baths are good for stitches :)

Congratulations!!

TesticleOfObjectivity · 13/12/2015 20:08

I wouldn't go out personally, but because I'd want to give myself a proper chance to recover and rest, not out of worry for newborn. Congratulations!

Pyjamaramadrama · 13/12/2015 20:11

I was out with both of mine by the second week, but, if I had my time over again I would stay inside for as long as possible.

Hygge · 13/12/2015 20:13

Don't go if you really aren't up to it.

It would be a shame to put a strain on yourself, and your DD might be upset if you all have to leave early because you aren't feeling well.

I went out too quickly after giving birth to DS, mainly because DH wanted to take DS out in the pram, I got all emotional at being 'separated' from DS (I was in the weepy stage), and I didn't want to miss a 'first time' thing either, and felt so ill I couldn't walk back home. DH had to leave us and fetch the car while I sat on a wall next to DS in the pram.

Wait and see. Hopefully you will feel better but don't rush yourself or make yourself ill. See how you feel on the day.

And congratulations Flowers

Andrewofgg · 13/12/2015 20:14

My advice would be useless but Flowers anyway!

Original poster
Wishfulmakeupping · 13/12/2015 20:17

Thanks everyone.
I think the logical thing is to stay in tbh but I feel guilty for dd I'm desperate to see her interacting with her little friends at preschool and would be nice to be at my friends litlle boys bday. I think dh will be ok but think the party might be a bit busy and worry he won't manage dd on his own.

OP posts:
janethegirl2 · 13/12/2015 20:18

I was out shopping the day I was released from hospital and it wasn't a particularly easy birth, ventouse delivery, trapped placenta, epidural and many many stitches. But it was better than being at home with DM. Smile

janethegirl2 · 13/12/2015 20:19

However if you don't have a DM around to avoid, I'd stay at home with the snuggly one.

BertrandRussell · 13/12/2015 20:24

I was out the day after with both of mine- I loved showing the baby off and being told how amazing I was! I would definitely go. But don't walk too far or get too tired.

livvylongpants · 13/12/2015 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 13/12/2015 20:27

Ditto Bertrand, I liked people saying how fab I was, and admiring brand new DS haha😄 but OP, ego-stroking is probably not the best reason to head out.

AliceInUnderpants · 13/12/2015 20:28

If you're feeling up to it, go. I went home from hospital in the evening of day 3 each time and was out for the day on day 4. I'll warn you it might make bleeding a little heavier though.

Original poster
Wishfulmakeupping · 13/12/2015 20:32

Really Alice its pretty bad already :(
The preschool is 5 mins away so I could possibly feed ds leave him with my DM then pop in for 10 mins and go back and pick dd and dh up later if its too much.
Couldn't do that with the party though as its a good 20 min drive so wouldn't be able to get back quick enough.

OP posts:
Wrcgirl · 13/12/2015 20:36

Rest rest rest and enjoy baby time. I tried to be normal asp after second birth and had bad stomach pains and it set me back in healing.

Lookingforaname · 13/12/2015 20:42

I would go to see your DD in preschool if you feel up to it,but maybe give a miss to the party?

Trooperslane · 13/12/2015 20:43

I was out on day 2. In John Lewis, buying teeny baby clothes. M

Not a stealth boast, I was feeling ok. enough.

Play it by ear.

Oliversmumsarmy · 13/12/2015 20:43

Cs on the Thursday and was wandering around b&q on the Saturday and hosting a barbecue Saturday afternoon. I was back driving, automatic car by a week the following Monday. It all depends on how you are feeling, never experienced tears always ended up having CS which have been fine.

NotEnoughTime · 13/12/2015 20:45

Congratulations Wishful I'm very Xmas Envy of your scrumpious little bundle but not of the heavy bleeding

If it was me I would keep warm and snuggle up at home with baba and Brew and Chocolate and get my DH to take DD. I know you would like to see her in that setting but there will be other times I'm sure.

Enjoy your new addition.

BertrandRussell · 13/12/2015 20:45

"but OP, ego-stroking is probably not the best reason to head out."

Really?? I can't think of a better one!

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