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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To even think about going out just yet

46 replies

Wishfulmakeupping · 13/12/2015 20:00

Gave birth earlier this week straightforward delivery but feel pretty shocking- painful stitches, after pains, bad back.
My older dc has her first preschool party on Friday and on the sat its a very good friend's son's bday party which my dd would love to. My dh could take her to both on his own but I want to be there firstly I'd love to see how she is in the preschool environment and secondly dd would enjoy both parties.
Am I crazy to consider going out so soon after birth.
Firstly it will mean my newborn ds will be surrounded by lots of children both days so might pick up a bug.
We're still trying up settle into routines and are pretty shattered.
Lastly I feel pretty grim today how much better will I realistically feel by fri?
Wwyd?

OP posts:

TheSecondViola · 13/12/2015 20:46

Dc 2 and 3 I could have done all that and more, could have done cartwheels at the party.
Dc4 took 3 weeks before I could walk without assistance and 6 until I could sit down without special cushions.

Just do what you feel up to.

TheGruffaloFish · 13/12/2015 20:50

I went out pretty much as soon as DD was born as I had to entertain DS. If I went somewhere with lots of people, I put her in the carrier so no one could poke her/pick her up/cough over her.

But my biggest regret is not forcing DH to take them out alone when they were little. Let him go alone with your DD, will be good for both!

Inneedofachat15 · 13/12/2015 20:58

Just go! If you want to see dd you can, doesn't need to be anything strenuous! When I had my dd I walked into town (1.5. Miles each way) with her 3 days after I had her and the day after we left hospital, so I could introduce her to friends. Giving birth doesn't handicap you anymore than you want it to.

readyforno2 · 13/12/2015 21:14

Wait and see how you feel. Friday is still ages away. You don't have to make a decision now.
When ds2 was born dh left to work offshore when he was 4 days old, he was away for four weeks.

SquinkiesRule · 13/12/2015 21:29

I went shopping on the way home from the hospital, Dh sat with Ds in the car and I went in quick, as I knew what I wanted and where it was. Then we went daily to the hospital for blood tests for Ds and so were out a lot.
With Ds2 I took a week before going out, then got back into the school run routine on week three

MrsRhettButler · 13/12/2015 21:32

I think if you want to go then go but only if you feel up to it when the time comes, play it by ear

Also congratulations

ExitStageLeft · 13/12/2015 21:37

I went out for the morning in day 3 following a section. Life goes on, I wouldn't want to miss the older ones play tbh unless you feel completely shocking.

Counttheshadows · 13/12/2015 23:05

I was out shopping 3 days after my emergency c section. It all depends on how you're feeling on the day.

Congrats on your baby

Fratelli · 14/12/2015 01:37

Not sure if anyone has already said it but baddedas bath gelee really helped the stitches. I wouldn't make firm plans. Walking around made me bleed a lot more. Congratulations!

unimaginativename13 · 14/12/2015 01:43

I was out and about the week I got home. I hated being in and found baby slept while in the car and pram etc.

My worry would be a kids party with a newborn I would freak out at all the man handling people would want to do. I HATE pass the baby type things.
So it depends how you feel about that.

Also how will DD feel that all the attention is on the newborn and not get at HER party ?

WalkThePlank0 · 14/12/2015 02:00

I am in the same boat OP - 11 day old and nursery nativity. I have decided not to go because of nursery germs and my newborn. But also I'm not sure DS1 would be that bothered and is more likely to play up if we all go. He has been a little highly strung of late and DH and I think that being persuaded to dress up as a sheep and follow instructions is unlikely to go well...

Bluewombler2k · 14/12/2015 04:27

Dd is 30 days old. I popped out 3 after she was born and started doing ds1's mates parties, catching up with my friends etc at 9 days old. Wish I hadn't as I then got a prolapse which I think was not helped by being on my feet too soon and not doing enough pelvic floor exercises post-birth Now I have hour long school runs to do and wish I'd made the most of that first week or so just resting. Don't try to do more than you can, enjoy putting your feet up and cuddling, plenty of time for parties and catch-ups once you have properly recovered

Original poster

Wishfulmakeupping · 14/12/2015 09:05

Thanks all will see how I am later in the week but today I feel like crap again- going to get mw to check stitches don't remember them being this sore with dd.
I will be doing my pelvic floor exercises from now then.
Think if I feel like I do this moment in time I will pop my head into dd's preschool Xmas party while dropping off dh and dd but not stay- its a Xmas party not play or anything and dh can feedback what the preschool say about dd's development. And maybe not go to the bday party :( Its too far to leave ds and shuttle feed even if I do feel ok in myself.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 14/12/2015 09:48

You should be slowly and steadily feeling better. If you feel you're going backwards rather than forwards then go and see the doctor. Hope you feel better soon.

TeaFathers · 14/12/2015 10:03

I think dh will be ok but think the party might be a bit busy and worry he won't manage dd on his own.

he'll have to learn, i'm afraid. soon you'll have 2 children so he'll have to get on with it. parenting is like the Foreign Legion, he's signed up, so he'll have to soldier on.

congrats btw.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 14/12/2015 10:11

Congratulations OP.

I'm in the see how you feel camp. Having a newborn is a rare excuse in life for everyone totally to understand your reasons for not doing anything; on the other hand as pp have said - if you are coping well it's a marvellous way to show off. I was able to breeze happily around with ds3 plus my two pre schoolers, ds3 was at his cousins 6th birthday party at 4 days old. I felt fantastic. But I understand, as with Ds1 it took me months to recover from his birth., and with ds2 it wasn't much better.

ChipInTheSugar · 14/12/2015 10:15

Congratulations on your new baby - but seriously, your DH needs to be able to parent/look after his own child!

Oldraver · 14/12/2015 10:16

If you want to pop in for 1o minutes and leave DS with your Mum then do so but....no 'popping back' for DH.... He needs to take full control of DD.

The same goes for the party...go if you wnat to not because DH wont cope

Mumzee5 · 14/12/2015 10:19

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BertrandRussell · 14/12/2015 10:23

"parenting is like the Foreign Legion, he's signed up, so he'll have to soldier on."

This!

But go if you can- I loved going out with mine. As I said, what's not to like about being constantly told how amazing you are and how gorgeous your baby is!

onecurrantbun1 · 14/12/2015 11:37

I didn't leave baby for months but popping out with her in the sling was perfectly fine with both of mine. I loved DH's paternity leave as we went for breakfast in cafes and nice country walks. However I've not needed stitches either time an have been home within 24 hours both times. Personally I would have been going stir crazy within a few days but why don't you just see how you feel on Friday? Big sis will be bringing home bugs etc so wouldn't worry about that side.

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