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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep DS at home even though he'd *probably* be ok with calpol?

38 replies

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 02/12/2015 08:14

5yo DS has the virus that's been making its way around his class, high fever, coughing, sore throat, chills and a headache.

Sent him in on Monday anyway, dosed up, and he came home completely wrecked and ready for bed by 5.30 Sad - they'd forgotten to give him the paracetamol. They rang to apologise.

He had yesterday off and spent the day dozing on the sofa, refusing food and went to bed early. This morning he's still feverish but seems to be a little better, probably would be ok in school today with some calpol.

WIBU to keep him home anyway? Ditch the paracetamol, give him a blanket, some hot chocolate and Netflix and let him properly rest?

Reading that back to myself it seems obvious, but we've had The Letter and now I'm nervous about keeping him off school, and I keep questioning myself Hmm

OP posts:
WhattodoSue · 02/12/2015 08:25

I'd keep him home. He will still be recovering and school will probably wipe him out and make him more ill for longer.

jazzandh · 02/12/2015 08:25

If mine have a temperature and feel unwell they stay off school. If you send them back they just take longer to get over it and then seems to pick up every virus going and get it worse.

By this time in the term they are tired and seem to struggle and he certainly won't learn much if he is under the weather.

LittleLionMansMummy · 02/12/2015 08:33

I'd keep him home. From experience ds has a very ill day then begins to get better. However even if he seems a lot better in the morning he goes downhill after lunch and would certainly struggle with a whole day at school. He'd need the extra day to rest and begin to eat normally again, get some energy back.

DoreenLethal · 02/12/2015 08:37

If you get another Letter then point out he may have got back to school earlier if they had administered the Paracetamol.

Curiouserandcuriouser30 · 02/12/2015 08:37

I would also keep him home, it would probably help him recover faster in the long run, and he's not going to get any benefit out of being at school if he is still poorly.

Catsize · 02/12/2015 08:44

You sent your young child to school with a virus? Nice one. Sorry, but this sort of thing really gets my heckles. The child is ILL. He needs to be AT HOME. Why is this so difficult to understand? And hey! Let's see how many children he can make ill, given it is 'going around' so effectively - thanks to selfish parents who send their kids on when they shouldn't.
Yab totally u but will probably send him in anyway. Poor kid.

Floggingmolly · 02/12/2015 08:46

Oh, keep him home, fgs Hmm It spreads like wildfire.

honkinghaddock · 02/12/2015 08:53

Given those symptoms I would keep him home another day. Sending to school with an ordinary cold is fine if he is feverish he needs to be off.

Original poster
OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 02/12/2015 08:54

Cat, they tell us to. They sent letters home outlining 'acceptable' illnesses to be kept at home for. Temperature and a cough? As long as calpol does the trick, send them in. It doesn't sit right with me, not at all, but all the time they're sending threatening letters home with percentages and big lettered warnings about fines I'm going to question myself about this shit.

but will probably send him in anyway.

What about my OP suggested to you I was hellbent on sending him in regardless of any advice I might receive?

OP posts:
iggy155 · 02/12/2015 08:58

My daughter had a chest infection that nearly hospitalised her 2 months back. She had 5 days off. We got The Letter and now I feel very worried about keeping her off. I see entirely where you are coming from OP but to be honest keep him home.

BabCNesbitt · 02/12/2015 08:59

They tell you to send feverish kids in to school? FFS! I'm all in favour of keeping up children's attendance as much as possible, but if a child is ill, what exactly is the point of sending them in apart from box-ticking for the school?

BarbarianMum · 02/12/2015 08:59

If he needs calpol to keep his temperature down he's still ill and needs to be at home. YANBU

iggy155 · 02/12/2015 09:00

Oh and our school say keeping off for sore throats, coughs and colds and temperatures that can be controlled with Calpol 😮 is acceptable.

iggy155 · 02/12/2015 09:01

Not acceptable sorry

Catsize · 02/12/2015 09:03

Sorry for sounding harsh OP, I think it was because you sent him in on Monday. The school's policy sounds totally unreasonable. You are his parent though and I would ignore the threatening letters in the best interests of my (and others') children, personally.

rainbowstardrops · 02/12/2015 09:03

I'm not sure that was necessary Cat.
I work in an infant school and my dd is at junior school. If parents kept their children off everytime they were slightly under par then we wouldn't have any kids in the class at this time of the year!
Also, I heard a teacher berating a SIX year old child this week because she has too many gaps in her work book because 'She's off sick too much'! Her mum is the mum that rightly or wrongly keeps her child home when her child has a cold etc. Parents can't win!!!
I'm glad you're keeping him home OP BrewCake

SummerNights1986 · 02/12/2015 09:05

high fever, coughing, sore throat, chills and a headache

Sent him in on Monday anyway, dosed up

Did he have those symptoms? If so yabu. If a dc is ill they need to be at home!

Euripidesralph · 02/12/2015 09:07

Whoa catsize back off

This is clearly not a mother who is just dumping her kid and not caring , clearly the school is exerting a lot of pressure on parents about sickness absence and she's trying to debate her options

Hey I currently have an elder child and a newborn in a special care unit... trust me I more than most get worried about kids passing around viruses but your response was vitriolic and unnecessary

How dare you label a parent selfish for trying to figure out the right thing to do .... I hope you are truly ashamed of your unnecessary venom

Euripidesralph · 02/12/2015 09:08

Apologies catsize cross posted that you apologised for the harshness , sorry

honkinghaddock · 02/12/2015 09:08

If they have a temperature it means their body is fighting an infection and needs rest. Calpol can be used to make them feel more comfortable but it shouldn't be used to mask a high temperature.

lborgia · 02/12/2015 09:08

What is happening in the UK?? where did this Letter come from?? it sounds terrible. Why are they suggesting you should send sick kids to school? I'm running out of question marks. This makes no sense.

Aftershock15 · 02/12/2015 09:08

You can always justify it to yourself / the school that calpol just masks the symptoms - he will still have the virus and spread it about to anyone who hasn't caught it yet.

If I child needs paracetamol to get through the day I really don't think they should be in school at this age. When they are older and it is for a specific pain such as broken limb or pain from new braces it's ok, but if they are little and need pain killers to survive a day at school then they are to I'll to be there. I'm quite surprised the school were willing to give calpol in your case anyway.

honkinghaddock · 02/12/2015 09:15

Ds's school gives calpol for colds but it is an asd school and a lot of the children struggle even when mildly unwell. With something like the op describes they would not be expected to be in school.

SummerHouse · 02/12/2015 09:25

Sometimes you have to ignore everything but your instinct. 47.3% of schools just make up their percentages on the spot. Grin

Your instinct seems to say keep him home. Stuff percentages. I am actually surprised that its ok to send a child in with a temp. Even if its controlled by calpol. Don't think this would sit well with me.

GoblinLittleOwl · 02/12/2015 09:30

Your child is not well, so keep him at home until he is better.
Write a letter to the school explaining exactly why, keep a copy, and do this every time you keep him at home. Then you have the evidence if his attendance is below the required level.