To be a bit miffed? Leaving do.

[Genvonklinkerhoffen]

I've worked at my place for almost 5 years which is practically unheard of. I've seen people come and go, trained people up for promotion, turned the place around and generally broken my back for it.

I'm finally moving on, finishing before Christmas and starting new job straight afterwards. Today, my direct junior (who is moving into my role) said "you're not bothered for a leaving do are you"

In the past when I've arranged them, we've done a lunch (everyone brings food, quite multinational so lots of variety) if the person doesn't want to go out. We've done cocktail nights, pub crawls, pub quizzes, afternoon tea and so on. Now no one gives a shit because it's my turn.

This is sounding more self centred as I write it but is it my responsibility to ask for/organise one? Is it because I'm the boss?

i just feel like I've invested in every one of them and they're like "cool, seeya".

Bah.

Most people at my place arrange their own leaving do's?

I hope you told your replacement that you were bothered. As you say, it doesn't have to be grand or expensive but something to mark one's departure is not an unreasonable expectation.

That's the thing, most people at my place don't.
I think it was her assumption that I wasn't bothered when I've dragged her up from knowing next to nothing to being competent. Just pissed me off.

Its not because your boss its because you do the organising. Most people who attend things are happy to attend and contribute and don't put much thought to who co ordinated.

If you don't have something no doubt when you've gone there'll be a minor rumble of we should have done something when people twig that nothing happened.

You've done too good of a job in coordinating for others so now either need to propose something to do, and i'll bet most will be happy to join in, or leave quietly accepting you're on to better things.

and they forgot my birthday

catford it seems like a petulant thing to do now though! I just said "oh I thought we might have a few drinks"

That said, I'm clearing my desk and have found 2 bottles of wine and something suspicious that my last Romanian temp gave me. So that was nice.

It's Christmas, it's a busy time..

Am I clutching at straws but could it be a surprise party??? Sorry don't want to get your hopes up. Fuck them if it's not

I know it's only the 10th, I've still got 16 days of annual leave and a conference overseas to fit in! That's 4 days away from work. So only about 5 days still at the coal face. I know I will spend that time explaining to my replacement (again) all of the things I've been trying to explain for the last three months!!

munki thanks, I'm pretty confident that's not what's happening. I'm going to go with your second option

"when I've dragged her up from knowing next to nothing to being competent"
Er, is it possible they just don't like you?

That must be it yellow not one out of 18 of them likes me enough to put any effort in.

Whereas I've totally adored everyone I've arranged something for. 100%.

Swipe the petty cash and put it behind the bar?

now wondering about the suspicious item

yes, that is odd. Everywhere I've worked has sorted a leaving do. You don't have to sort your own because you are senior. is it something to with the timing - leaving before Xmas?

Most people at my place arrange their own leaving do's?

Same in all of the places I have worked.

"when I've dragged her up from knowing next to nothing to being competent"

I'd probably feel a bit insulted if my boss thought like this sorry

i left my previous work place (23 years) and didnt have a leaving do and they bought me a homebase pot plant!.....still that was 13 years ago and the only time i have thought about it is to type this now....good riddance, they were collegues not my friends.....girl i work with now had a leaving do, presents and a nice card and she didnt like her new job and was back within two weeks!

If they've got used to you organising things, they will simply presume that it will continue.

Send an email about going for drinks on X date and people will come. Or don't, and nobody will organise anything.

It sucks, but don't cut your nose off to spite your face.

Agree with p.p saying you dragged her up is quite shitty.

To answer your question though yanbu to want a leaving party.

Been self-employed for years now (so no such things as a works do any more) but when I did have a regular job in big firms, there was rarely anything other than a quick "Thank You and Goodbye, here's a card that everybody's signed" 30-second gathering and/or a few handshakes.

Only the ones going off on maternity leave or the retirements ever had a special do laid on.

I don't usually hunk in terms of "dragged up" just today, I feel she's being incredibly ungrateful given the amount of time and effort that I have invested in her so far.
I'd like to retract that comment and replace it with mentored.

Where I work (LA) the co-workers provide tea and coffee and the person who is leaving brings a cake in.

You have organised leaving parties for people who have left. Is the current cohort as to you close as the people who have moved on?

Some of them have been here over a year. Some of the ones who've left were here less than a year, largely temps who've managed to find a permanent role in the organisation.

I had a going away do from my last job. My boss organised it. He was told by about half the directors, who I worked with a lot, that they couldn't make that date. They asked him to reschedule. He wouldn't, so only about 5 people of 30 (10 contacted me to say they were sorry they couldn't come) came. Oh, and the one guy who didn't know me from Adam and just wanted some free grub. Then I was presented with a £3 bunch of tesco flowers (label still on) and the voucher I had bought for an outgoing director that the boss had forgotten to give her. I felt the love. And I feel your pain, OP.