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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should she offer half the money?

35 replies

saltlakecity · 01/11/2015 16:04

I'm going to a friend's wedding early next year. I booked a hotel room for a few days as it's not in this country so a one nighter wouldn't be enough. The hotel was booking up so I invited another friend (also going to the wedding) to share my room. The problem is this has been booked for a while now and we've met up a couple of times but she hasn't offered me any money for it.

The room cost £360 for the few nights we are there. I don't know if aibu as I would have stayed there regardless so maybe she just saw it as tagging on to a room already booked (right I guess) but I can't help but feel a bit put out. The wedding has already cost me over £500 with flights too. Getting half the room cost covered would be really handy. Aibu? Wwyd?

OP posts:
MardyBra · 01/11/2015 16:06

Did you mention any costs when you offered to share?

VimFuego101 · 01/11/2015 16:07

Did you pay for the room in advance? Presumably she will stump up her half when you check out (assuming you just pay when you leave) but I would tell her the costs to make it clear.

DimpleHands · 01/11/2015 16:07

YANBU! I would ask her - maybe just drop her an email saying would it be OK if she transferred the £180 to you for half the cost of the room and give her your bank details. Seems completely reasonable to me.

monkeysox · 01/11/2015 16:08

If she's your friend ask her for some money towards it.

laffymeal · 01/11/2015 16:08

Ask her for her share, it's common sense she should pay half

ConfusedInBath · 01/11/2015 16:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 01/11/2015 16:09

I think you should tell her you messed up and meant to ask her for half the room cost and tell her you understand if she wants to back out.

Original poster
saltlakecity · 01/11/2015 16:10

I haven't mentioned the cost as I had booked it for myself anyway. I did pay upfront. Now it just niggles a bit. My fault though. Perhaps you're right that she thinks it's pay on leaving.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 01/11/2015 16:11

Aube she hasnt realised youve paid already. Mention it

Costacoffeeplease · 01/11/2015 16:11

Has she agreed to pay half, or are you assuming she will? If it hasn't been discussed, she may think you're offering for her to share your room, which, as you say, you would have already been paying for

Lilylonglegs · 01/11/2015 16:12

You should have mentioned her paying when you offered. "Do you want to share my room and go halfs? It will be £180" it looks like you offered her your room for free if you have never mentioned payment and met up multiple times.

VimFuego101 · 01/11/2015 16:12

It's what I would assume, but I wouldn't wait till you get there to iron it out with her Smile

MardyBra · 01/11/2015 16:12

Does she know you've already paid?

Mysteryfla · 01/11/2015 16:12

For goodness sake, speak to her.

Grapejuicerocks · 01/11/2015 16:17

Would she know how much the room is likely to cost? It seems funny that no mention of price was made at the beginning. Normally you would say "Did you want to share my room, it's costing £360 between us. Is that ok?" The fact you didn't mention money may have made her think you were offering for free. Having said that, she should have clarified things at the time too.
I'd send her an email asking her if she wants to settle up now or does she want to pay you at the time. Then keep your fingers crossed she isn't upset.

I think it is 50:50 blame that it isn't clear cut.

AlexandraOrlov · 01/11/2015 16:17

She shouldn't assume it's free but you are being terribly British and awkward. Forward her the confirmation and say: here're the details of where we're staying, hope it's ok for you, and my bank details are xx.xx.xx.

momsnest · 01/11/2015 16:22

If it's a friend also going to the same wedding I would have offered with the line "as the rooms are so expensive do you fancy sharing and we can go halves to make it cheaper for us both?"

YANBU expecting half
YABU expecting her to be psychic and know you want half now as you've already paid it

SplatterMustard · 01/11/2015 16:31

Did you mention the cost when you asked if she wanted to share? If not then she may not know that you want to share the cost.

icanteven · 01/11/2015 16:34

You're being way too English about this.

"Hi, I meant to say when I saw you last week that I paid for the hotel room for Melisandre's wedding up front, and it would be great to get your half when you're ready - it's not a pay on the day thing. Do you have my bank details from last time? If not, here they are: XXXXXXXX, s/c XXXXXX. Thank you! Saltlake xx"

Barbie1 · 01/11/2015 16:34

I would casually drop it into conversation that the hotel has emailed you and has requested the deposit.

It will soon become apparent if she had thought about the cost Smile

celtictoast · 01/11/2015 16:36

She doesn't know you've already paid, as bills are often settled on leaving. Drop her a friendly note saying you've covered the cost up front so you'd appreciate if she could send you half.

sooperdooper · 01/11/2015 16:45

She's not a mind reader! She probably thinks you'll pay when you check out

Yabu not to have mentioned the cost upfront and that you'd already paid and yabu to feel peeved at her when you've given her no information whatsoever

Lndnmummy · 01/11/2015 17:00

I would mention it casually "oh, the room I booked cost £360, so thats £180 each. Is that ok with you?.

If she says no, then she can pay for her own room.

Original poster
saltlakecity · 01/11/2015 17:00

Thanks everyone. You are right that i should have given more info. We have another room to book for something else which might be around £100. Would I be ok to suggest she books that one and I have sorted this one?

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 01/11/2015 17:05

It would only be ok if you're happy to lose out by £80 because you're too afraid to be honest with her Hmm